Habits

I fear getting stuck in a rut.
So much so that I avoid
Getting good at things I might not enjoy.

I have a near phobia
Of doing the same thing twice.

Unless that thing
Crossed over into my List of Obligations.
I'm not sure how it got there
But now I own it
And can't let go.

I guess it was a choice
But it doesn't feel like a choice.

I gotta break out of this cycle
Of decisions based on avoidance
And failure to disown.

The way out?

Shift from habit defined as synonymous with
Default
A pre-made choice
Which might play out as the other meaning:
Default
Failure to meet an obligation.

With habit defined as synonymous with
Tool
An action adopted to make the work of life easier.

Then the unpleasant takes a smaller slice of life.

The energy spent running away
Or fielding every-day exceptions
Gets saved up for use
Making decisions
And pruning away defaults of the second kind.

Start with the first new habit:
A tool not a default.


	6 July 2014 (unfinished)
	by Bill Cattey