This puzzle is about the board game Red Dragon Inn. This is clued by the inclusion of Fortitude and Alcohol on the citations and by the character names in the flavor text.
The flavor text also includes conspicuous shortening of some words, and the word “u ’n’ tapp’d” can be found stretched across a few words. Untappd is a beer tracking app, and searching for the characters in untappd will lead to the four users: Deirdre_the_Priestess, Fiona_the_Volatile, Gerki_the_Sneak, and Zot_and_Pooky.
At this point, solvers will play through the game of Red Dragon Inn, as shown with the untappd check-ins. Each beer corresponds to a drink in the deck, each location change and 30 minute time span indicates a new round.
When a player takes an action early in a round they will sometimes target a player who has not yet checked in for that round on their profile. In these cases the action will appear as a comment on a check in for a previous round, but the timestamp makes it clear that the action was taken during the current round.
Drinks are as follows (in order of first check-in):
|Game drink||Untappd drink||Brewery|
|Elven Wine||Dark Elf Chocolate Mint Porter||Periodic Brewing|
|Wine||Brewers Reserve Barley Wine||Lervig|
|Dark Ale||Rutamaya Dark||Atwater Brewing|
|Dirty Dishwater||The Dirty Mayor||Citizen Cider|
|Troll Swill||Happy Troll||Ethereal Meads|
|Light Ale||Narragansett Light||Narragansett|
|Wizard’s Brew||Space Wizard||Arkane Aleworks|
|Orcish Rotgut||Symmetric Orchestra||Modern Times|
|Dragon’s Breath||Dragonstooth Stout||Elysian|
|Holy Water||Holy Water Citra IPA||Sumerian|
If solvers read the first letter of the breweries in check-in order, they will find a clue phrase:
Careful solvers will play through the game and find the end results as:
|4th||Zot||6||7||Microsoft 1 Cambridge Center|
If solvers index by Fortitude and Alcohol content into the last check-in place name, they will get a bigram for each character:
Discounting Deirdre, since she did not pass out, the final solution is
Red Dragon Inn Playthrough
Round 1: MIT Museum (Building 52)
Deirdre plays “Let’s toast the Goddess!”, so Deirdre drinks Elven Wine, Fiona drinks Wine, Gerki drinks Dark Ale + chaser of Dirty Dishwater, and Zot drinks Wine + chaser of Troll Swill. Deirdre then drinks a Dark Ale for her round drink.
Fiona plays “Who says I’m not a lady?” on Gerki, then drinks Light Ale.
Gerki plays “That’s not healing salve! It’s contact poison!” on Zot, then drinks Wizard’s Brew.
Zot plays “How many times have I told you? Keep your hands off my wand!” on Gerki, then drinks Light Ale.
Round 2: Memorial Drive
Deirdre plays “My Goddess made me do it!” on Zot, who responds with “The stars say, ‘No!’”, then drinks Orcish Rotgut.
Fiona plays “Hey! No more chainmail bikini jokes!” on Zot, then drinks Dragon’s Breath Ale.
Gerki performs no action and drinks Elven Wine, negated by “Luckily for me I had this antidote brewed up!”
Zot plays “I told you not to distract me!” on Fiona. She responds with “Sorry about that, I just instinctively aim for the head…”, then drinks Light Ale. Gerki plays “A little somethin’ extra.” and Zot responds with “The wench thinks you should stop playing with the drinks.”
Barmaid: “When the party leaves Memorial Drive, Gerki has one less Fortitude than Deirdre and two fewer Alcohol than Zot.”
Round 3: Stata Center Food Court
Deirdre plays “My Goddess heals me.” then drinks Wine and plays “Wine into Water” to negate it.
Fiona plays “You wanna arm wrestle?” to Deirdre and drinks Elven Wine.
Gerki plays no action, then draws a Drinking Contest. Gerki drinks Light Ale, Zot draws Wine and plays “Teleport beverage!” to Fiona. She responds with “This is just the thing to get the rust off my armor!”. Deirdre drinks Dark Ale, Fiona drinks Holy Water.
Zot plays “I told you not to distract me!” on Fiona, she responds with “Luckily for me, I was wearing my armor!”. Zot then draws Dark Ale and plays “Oh, Barmaid! I think Pooky had an accident!”
Round 4: MIT Kresge Auditorium (Building W16)
Deirdre plays “Oh no! I think that growth on your arm might be Mummy Rot!” on Zot, then draws Dragon’s Breath Ale but negates it with “Not now! These men are interested in my religion.”
Fiona plays “We’re at an inn and you’re not drinking. What’s wrong with you!?” on Zot to send him a Light Ale, and he responds with “Not now, I’m meditating.” She then drinks Orcish Rotgut, which she negates with “This is just the thing to get the blood off my sword!”
Gerki plays “That’s not healing salve! It’s contact poison!” on Zot and drinks Elven Wine.
Zot plays “Watch out! Don’t step on Pooky!” on Fiona, then drinks Light Ale. Gerki plays “A little somethin’ extra” and Zot responds with “Bad Pooky! Don’t drink that!”
Barmaid: “When the party leaves MIT Kresge Auditorium, Zot has the lowest Fortitude and Deirdre the highest, but they have the same Alcohol.”
Round 5: Microsoft 1 Cambridge Center
Deirdre plays “My Goddess made me do it!” on Zot and drinks Dragon’s Breath Ale
Fiona plays “It’ll hurt more if you do it like this!” on Zot and drinks Wine and plays “Nothing like a little belt of liquid courage!”
Gerki plays “Have you seen my poison? I left it in a mug right here…” on Fiona then drinks Light Ale + chaser of Troll Swill
Zot plays “Pooky thinks you look thirsty…” on Fiona with a Light Ale. She responds with “Come, my friend, sit and drink with me!” Zot plays “I don’t think so!” Fiona plays “This is just the thing to get the blood off my sword!” Zot draws Light Ale and plays “Not now, I’m meditating.” Fiona plays “Drink up, friend!” and Zot draws Wine and passes out.
Round 6: MIT Building 46
Deirdre plays no action and draws Dark Ale and plays “You look like you need this more than I do!” to send it to Fiona, who plays “The Wench thinks you should stop playing with the drinks.”
Fiona plays “So then I got the ogre in a headlock like this!” on Gerki and drinks Elven Wine.
Gerki plays no action and draws Wine and negates it with “Dump it on the floor.”
Zot is out.
Barmaid: “When the party leaves MIT Building 46, Gerki has the lowest of both Alcohol and Fortitude.”
Round 7: MIT Jack Barry Astroturf Field
Deirdre plays “I’m not that kind of priestess!” on Gerki and drinks Dark Ale.
Fiona plays “I’m a quick healer.” and drinks Wine.
Gerki plays “How did this get stuck in your back?” on Fiona and draws Dark Ale and plays “Hey! Where’d the little guy go?”
Zot is out.
Round 8: Hogan’s Alley
Deirdre plays no action and drinks Dirty Dishwater.
Fiona plays “You’re at an inn, and you’re not drinking. What’s wrong with you!?” to send Dark Ale to Gerki, then draws Drinking Contest. Fiona drinks Light Ale, Gerki drinks Orcish Rotgut, Deirdre drinks Elven Wine.
Gerki passes out.
Zot is out.
Barmaid: “When the party leaves Hogan’s Alley, the totals of Fiona’s and Deirdre’s Alcohol and Fortitude differ by one.”
Round 9: MIT Wood Sailing Pavilion (Building 51)
Deirdre plays “Mass Heal!” and drinks a Light Ale.
Fiona plays no action and drinks Holy Water.
Gerki is out.
Zot is out.
Round 10: Intersystems Corporation
Deirdre plays “Oh no! I think that growth on your arm might be Mummy Rot!” Fiona responds with “Luckily for me, I was wearing my armor!”, negated by Deirdre playing “I don’t think so!” Deirdre drinks Dark Ale.
Fiona plays no action, drinks Elven Wine and passes out.