Every one
in New Galen
Liked Galen a lot
But Jack,
Who lived right in New Galen
Did NOT!
Jack HATED Galen. The whole Galen scheme!
We're all not sure why. We think he's just mean.
It could be he's not all that fond of Lord Ruprik
It could be, perhaps, all their laws make him sick
But I think the most likely reason of all
May have been that his coin purse was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason,
The laws or the purse,
He sat in the Tavern, his mood was the worst
Staring out towards the door with a dark, Jack-like sneer
At the New Galen sheep he was itching to shear
For he knew all the settlers in their uncaring ways
Would work for Lord Ruprik for the rest of their days
"And they settle for Galen!" he snapped angrily.
"Their items and coin, they should all go to ME!"
Then he stood, with his hat and its feather all blowing
"I MUST find some way to start hecta a-flowing!"
For, soon, he knew,
All the New Galen settlers
Would wake once again, hounding merchants and peddlers
And then! All the coin! Oh the coin coin coin coin!
Would not go to HIM! All that beautiful coin!
Then the New Galen settlers, would run in the night
And they'd fight, and they'd fight!
And they'd FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
They would fight all the zombies and brain-eating ghouls
Leading them to the Tavern! Those Galenese fools!
And THEN with a habit Jack hated the most,
Every New Galen settler annoying their host
Would crowd in the Dark Tavern, its dim candles shining
And as they dealt every hand, they all would start whining!
They'd whine! AND THEY'D WHINE!
AND they'd WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE!
"Oh it's dangerous here and the drinks are expensive!"
And the more that Jack thought the more he looked pensive
"I've put up with enough of these settlers' ways
I must teach them a lesson and do it today!"
So he drew up a plan.
A terrible plan!
Dear Jack got a horrible, terrible plan!
"Here's what I'll do," Jack mumbled and grinned
It's not like it was the first time that he sinned
He grabbed a black cloak, a dark evil sight
"With this old thieving outfit I'm one with the night!"
"I should have a long sword..."
And Jack looked about.
He pawned his last three and was now well without
Did that stop crafty Jack?
No! Jack simply said,
"If I don't have a sword, I will make one instead!"
So he drew his knife, Mike. Then with string a dark shade
He tied a big stick to the eighteen inch blade.
He slipped out the door
And snuck into the night
To teach a good lesson
Weilding old Mike
"I will rob the town blind!"
The simplest of words
Who would stop a dark figure
With such a large sword?
All the cabins were dark. The settlers were gone.
Thanks to false rumors of a magical gong
Some bell in the woods that would sing you a song
"Those fools will be lost all the night," Jack smiled
"I'll be taking their REAL magic goods all the while!"
When he climbed through a window, his head badly knocked
(He cursed doubly so since the door wasn't locked)
It had been a long while since he had to resort
To catburglar crimes of a menial sort.
But it wasn't so much he was down on his fortune
"These Galenese scum must be taught a lesson!"
So he tiptoed and lurked, like a troll in the woods
Around the whole cabin, and he took all the goods!
Potions! And hecta! Powders! Gems!
Weapons! Candles! Magical items!
Then he tossed them in sacks, and Jack very neatly
Set all of the bags outside quite discreetly.
But Jack wasn't done. He went back in the cabin.
He started to steal all the food they'd been havin'.
If the settlers could not find themselves a good snack
They'd have to pay double when they came to ol' Jack!
And he stole all the drink with his usual tricks
"And NOW!" smiled Jack. "I will take the Fey Sticks!"
So he grabbed the Fey Sticks, so gaudily sweet
When he heard a small sound like soft-slippered feet
He jumped with a start when he saw a small Kia
Aurelia the Kia, one most had called Lia
Ol' Jack had been caught by this curious faerie
Not sure what to make of this shadow so scary
She pouted at Jack and said, "Mister why,
"Why are you taking my Fey Sticks? WHY?"
But you know, sneaky Jack, was incredibly wise
And he thought of a way to remain in disguise
"Well you see, it's like this," the man raised his hand
"I'm a Darkling prince from a magical land
"But alas, there's a blight going over my place
"And I need these here Fey Sticks to help save my race!"
The tale seemed to work. But she seemed quite suspicious
Until Jack said he would get treats MORE delicious.
So when Lia the Kia went back to bed once more
Jack grabbed up the Fey Sticks and went out the door!
And the last thing he took
Was the mat on their floor!
And he silently closed behind him the door
And he felt it was all like a mere mundane chore
The one thing he left, which I find rather funny
Was a cute little fuzzy and cuddly stuffed bunny
Then he did the same thing to all other places
Leaving just fuzzy bunnies with button-nose faces
It was two past mid-night, the settlers returning
To sleep in their warm cozy bags until morning
And he grabbed all the pouches, he grabbed all the sacks
Full of the goodies and money and snacks
All the way back! Back to the Dark Tavern!
Sneaking into a room lit just by a lantern.
"Take that, Galenese!" he was fiendishly mocking
"Tomorrow night you'll be done with your pitiful talking
"You'll all go away when you find you are poor
"Or you'll go back to Galen and settle no more
"And Ruprik will fall in a rage to the floor!"
But the next night came, and they all crowded in
Jack was eager to hear their complaining din
So he grinned. And he waited as they all settled down.
And slowly he searched to find a dark frown.
But their whines were not dark!
They were almost quite pleasant!
How could they be joking
When poor as a peasant?
He stared at the settlers
Jack slowly realized
They would not be leaving
Much to his surprise!
Every New Galen settler in the tavern's small room
Was whining as usual but without any gloom
He HADN'T taught Galen a lesson!
THEY THRIVED!
Somehow or other, they still strived to thrive!
So Jack, bewildered as he tried to see,
Stood pondering wildly. "How could this be?
"They thrive without potions! They thrive without gems!
"They thrive without hecta or sparkly items!"
So he thought until all his thoughts tried to wander
And he had an idea that he never had pondered
"Maybe Galen," he said, "Isn't all about cash"
Then he laughed as he thought that that thinking was rash.
Because what happened then?
Well in New Galen they say
That Jack's flimsy coin purse
Grew three sizes that day!
The minute he tired of New Galen's feelings
He sold all the stuff he had spent the night stealing
And to top all his evil and dastardly tricks
Ol' Jack...
HE HIMSELF...
ate all the Fey Sticks!
Me, I respect Jack, so I had to change Mike's ending.
But he's such a softie, so here's his old thinking. -- T
But despite all his evil and dastardly tricks
Ol' Jack...
HE HIMSELF...
brought back the Fey Sticks!
--Darklocke
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,
so hopefully they won't sue us. :)