Cavvvp's Story

With Advice to Those Experiencing Spiritual Attack

Cavvvp ("cavvvp" being his online name) is one of the people who first wrote to me some years ago about psychic/spiritual problems. Now, he is a regular contributor on our (very small) psychic experiencers' mailing list. Here is his story, in his own words. Please note: here, "channel" refers to a particular mode of perception of the non-physical world. One can have auditory, visual, tactile, and other such channels.

When I was asked to write this, I was excited at the opportunity to be able to share something that might be helpful.


I became involved in trancing and divination and such as a young teen. I found out later that my family on both sides has a history of psychic ability, which really just predisposed me to a bunch of stuff that I didn't know how to handle. It started innocent enough, trying to predict the future. I was fascinated with the possibility that psychic powers could actually affect the everyday world our society recognizes. But as I began to learn more and have some success, I began using it as an escape from the boring routine. I was bored in school; trapped by conventions that I could not get around, but realizing there was more to life. Funny enough, as I drew further into the psychic, I lost touch with friends because of my weird behavior, which only caused further retreat. It was a downward spiral fueled by my physical transition from childhood, which awakened these aptitudes, lack of support about an aspect of reality that our society tries vigorously to ignore, and the depression that is increasingly common among youth today. Each of these things fueled the others and I wound up having random trances that would occur without control. This progressed into full-blown psychic attack as numerous entities vied for control of my channels. During these times I was a writhing mess as all of my channels would basically blow open at once-- visual, auditory, and tactile. I would hear voices, walls screaming and fluctuating, feel poking and breathing on my neck, even biting. Sometimes I would see dark floating shapes hovering around me all pummeling and jabbing at random. Sometimes I would even see large black rats with gnarly teeth and glowing red eyes that would peer at me from beneath furniture, or from dark corners. They would rush out and try to bite me. I truly thought I was psychotic.

I struggled to maintain enough ability to function in the daily world for a couple years and developed psychosomatic illnesses. You can imagine the trouble I had at school, such that I ended up with no friends and shunned close contact. I recall one incident where I could barely hold a fork at lunch. I was shaking so violently food would fall off before I got it to my mouth as I sat alone in a crowded room. Some other students even asked if I was all right, but I just shook my head and left for a solitary place to try to regain control. I think the scariest point came when I was waiting in line to buy food in my crowded school. One cocky teen thought he could walk right in ahead of everyone and stopped to get his food right in front of me. I was instantly overwhelmed with a desire to kill him and was about to snap his neck from behind when I shook free of the moment and quickly left, sweating.

Cavvvp's Father Intervenes

The psychosomatic illnesses worsened to the point that my parents stepped in and soon they realized what was going on. I am very thankful for my Dad who, while never openly acknowledging his abilities, to this day is able to speak right to my soul on many issues and knew exactly how to get me to quit focusing on the attacks. The turning point came one morning when I was too sick with stomach cramps to walk. My mother was trying her best to understand and opted for the boot-camp tactic of yelling and insulting me to improvement, which had the exact opposite effect and increased the attacks, since they were then coming from the physical realm as well. My Dad locked her out of the room and sat down calmly to talk to me. He admitted that he had once been in my same state and it resulted in him running away and dropping out of school. But he told me I had one thing he didn't have, and that was Jesus. He had raised me in a nondenominational Christian upbringing. As he spoke, I had a vision that was all too familiar. I saw myself standing in absolute darkness on the edge of a vast precipice. I had often seen this vision and contemplated jumping off into oblivion. This time I finally did jump. But just as my feet left the edge a great shining arm snatched me back to safety and pulled me to a warm strong chest. I couldn't see any features but new from the presence that this was Jesus who had come to rescue me. He set me on my feet and gave me a confident gesture with his hand indicating that he had always been just as close, waiting for me to surrender, but that he would never let me fall. At that point I was back in the room with my Dad's arm around my shoulder. I was crying uncontrollably and he had tears streaming down his face as well. I have no doubt that his prayers at that moment made all the difference. I was broken completely, with no strength left to fight, but the attack had stopped and I felt a gentle blowing in my mind like a soft breeze. Strangely, through my tears, I began to see that gentle blowing start to shear off parts of my world in a strange mixture of vision and reality. I watched as this blowing continued to shred my world like a gale. Underneath the pieces was an identical world, with the single exception that it had all been renewed. The light was fresher, the air was sweeter, and the noise in my head had abated.

I have no doubt that this entire incident was the imaginative manifestation of my rescue from the darkness that I had slowly allowed my self to be ensnared by. When dealing with the psychic we often represent things in our mind in familiar or understandable patterns. So some people see shapes, others lines, or beams. In this state of full-blown channels, I was merging everything. But the point is not how it appears. I describe it only to give those who may be experiencing something similar hope that there is a way out. It wasn't entirely over by far, but that was the major turning point. I still had to cope with the illness. I still had to battle the attacks, but I was no longer controlled by them. At worst I would have to endure until I could manage to scream for Jesus to come and help me again. But he has never failed me.

Over time I could control the psychosomatic trouble, slowly in small steps, consisting mostly of avoidance of stimulus and changing my focus. But the all-out attacks continued throughout college. My girlfriend at the time, who is now my wife can recount the many times she saw and experienced these attacks as a bystander with me. Jesus even spoke audibly through her once to stop an attack. (I have to tell you that experiencing that much direct Holy power, even though it's good, is far scarier than my worst attack. We literally fell out of the car we were in and ran away hiding our faces.)

Not Alone

During college I found Rei's website while doing some research for a project. We began to communicate and I learned that I was not alone. The experiences she described were so similar to mine that it couldn't be coincidence. As I began to understand the terminology that was being used, I realized that there was a way to talk about these things.a vocabulary, and a group of people who already knew the vocabulary and had similar experiences.a dialogue. This is extremely important psychologically when we are dealing with things that are hard to talk about or prove. The nature of the experiences (and I'm convinced this is one goal of the attacks) is to cut us off from others and make us more vulnerable. So now armed with words to use and people to share things with and bounce experiences off of, I began to realize that I was not psychotic, but experiencing spiritual attack.

Of course I began to research the whole issue further and followed many of the links on Rei's site. I also looked for information on my own, and found resources at my college. I even began to take classes in courses that touched on these issues, even if indirectly. Once I realized the process, I was able to look at other traditions and disciplines that had their own vocabularies and find how they often described the same things. It was just a different context that caused the terms to be different. To me this was extremely comforting. But I would like to caution that when studying other cultures and religions we should avoid the trap of picking and choosing what we like to agree with. We must always understand the full context and take things as they are. By splicing and choosing bits of one thing and another, we create something completely different that has the appearance of truth without the verification of history and context to guide it. The result is that deceiving spirits can easily enter and wreak havoc. This is why the New Age movement is so dangerous. Spiritual disciplines are nothing to play around with. There are very bad things that we don't want to stir up unawares.


Over time, I've learned to control my channels. I haven't been very active in the psychic in the past couple of years, which is good, but my experiences and my knowledge have allowed me to recognize the trouble in other places and in other people. I've learned a lot about the spiritual realm and many different spiritual disciplines. And I have come to believe a few things that I think are helpful for anyone who is experiencing spiritual attack, or who is interested in these matters.

First of all, don't dabble. The spiritual realm is very real and very dangerous if we don't understand it. Anyone whose endured the agony of serious attack can tell you this is very true. If you are interested in these matters, or find yourself having unexplained experiences or abilities, seek out a qualified community of people who can train you in a discipline. You absolutely won't do well on your own, for the simple reason that you won't be able to tell what is real and what isn't.

Second, there is absolutely such a thing as ultimate truth. The reasons why are extremely long, and I'd be happy to discuss them with anyone who wants to take the time, but suffice to say, it is a fact that has been philosophically proven and experienced by many people. Related to this, we agree that what is in line with this ultimate truth is real, and good. What isn't in line with it is evil or false.

Third, every aspect of our being and environment influences the others. You have to change them all little by little to gain control. You can't sit around alone in a dark room listening to depressing or aggressive music and expect to improve. Open the windows, go outside, find someone to talk to, eat healthy, exercise, and get your focus off of yourself. Volunteering or doing charity work is a great way to help us align our perspectives and change many of the negative factors at once.

And lastly, the secret to overcoming spiritual attack does not lie in the right ritual, or incantation, or healer. There isn't something wrong with you that has to be fixed. The secret is in knowing what is real, and living as much in alignment with that as we can. We call it elevating. By doing this, we remove ourselves from the conflict dynamic all together and the attacks stop. It's not a matter of beating an enemy. Masters of this lifestyle can disuade any confrontational situation without effort by simply recognizing the truth. Remember that evil is not a thing, but a negation or denial of what is good.

Of course it is all easier said than done, especially when you are under such psychic strain that you can't even think. I've been there too. But I believe that every aspect of our being can be used for good when in line with Truth. Those of us who have been attacked and overcame it have a responsibility to spread light in all ways.


So hang in there, and if you have found this article it isn't by accident. God, the source of goodness, has brought you to it and you can overcome the problems. If you need help, any of us associated with Rei's site will help... just ask. And though you may not understand it now, congratulations and welcome. Know that you are greatly loved, because at this very moment, the entire universe was created and put into motion for the sole purpose of bringing you to the understanding of who you really are and restoring you to the intimate relationship you were meant to have with the Source of all things. You may not be able to see it now, but Jesus who came to retrieve you, waits for you to call Him in. All the angels and beings of light, and those of us who were placed in your path to help, are waiting in eager anticipation for the radiant beautiful being of light that you are to be revealed. You are on the verge now, that's why you are so attacked. It will get better.

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