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Wizard's Hollow

Charming

When I got the course catalog from the dean, I was a bit confused. “Are these courses teaching you how to perform a charm, or how to be charming?” I asked him. He looked at the set of courses. “What’s the difference?” he replied.

Course Catalog 2010

Charms 101
In this course you will learn the subtle art of sending your colleague flying backwards if he tries to put marinara sauce on soba.
Charms 102
In this course you will learn to win more by composing masterly messages from computer to computer, and also how to light fires without a match.
Charms 103
In this course you will learn how to tactfully recommend against putting unsolved problems on exams and how to cleanly sever the paper on which you write your recommendation into whatever elegant shape you wish!
Charms 104
In this course you will learn not only how to release enchanted damsels from distressing curses, but even how to converse with them while doing so.
Charms 105
In this course you will learn to instantaneously produce clear drinking water as a celebration for when the man you asked out for coffee says yes (open to people of all IQs; there is no prerequisite of intelligence to take this course).
Charms 106
In this course you will learn how to quickly repair the snow globe recently shattered by your passionate snogging with a Spaniard.
Charms 107
In this course you will learn to stun any audience members that aren’t already speechless with awe at the elegance of your PowerPoint slides.
Charms 108
In this course you will learn how to bring a room from awkward silence to lively discourse…or how to control all the words and actions of someone else so they can do it for you.
Charms 109
In this course you will learn to be engrossing as you give your conference’s keynote address, and how to summon the laser pointer to come flying into your hand if you accidentally leave it at your seat.
Charms 110
In this course you will learn how to crack open probiotic oysters to find multiethnic laborers and foil the plans of anybody who would prevent you from doing so by making them go stiff as a board.
Charms 111
In this course you will learn how to consume office alcohol responsibly and siphon off the dregs to instantly render the finished glasses spotlessly clean.
Charms 112
In this course you will learn to bind your lover with thin ropes and adoringly but politely offer him 本命チョコ.
Charms 113
In this course you will learn how to navigate OKCupid to find your soul mate, and how to put up a shield around yourself through which nothing can pass for the first in-person meeting (just in case).
Charms 114
In this course you will learn how to stylishly fasten your collar, hold up your pants, and conjure a bouquet of flowers from thin air.
Charms 115
In this course you will learn the hora (unless you are in the control group, in which case you will simply do the grapevine). In case you are out past midnight, you will also learn to turn your fellow dancers’ heads into pumpkins.
Charms 116
In this course, you will expand your repertoire to include setting shards of glass, flocks of birds, heavy balls, or other such items to attack people who dare to distract your computation of the Nash equilibrium of suave opening lines.
Charms 117
In this course you will learn to set up a tent in a single sweep of your arm and groove Brazilian-style with fellow biologists, chemists, and physicists.
Charms 118
In this course you will learn how to bandage wounds with flawless rectitude. This course is particularly based in the decorum of the last 20 years.
Charms 119
In this course you will learn to conjure a silvery spirit animal to protect you from soul-sucking forces of darkness while enjoying homemade chilaquiles and boycotting Chipotle.
Charms 120
In this course you will learn how to land your dream position through power poses, good eye contact, and the ability to cause baby shrubs to instantly grow and bloom.
Charms 121
In this course you will learn to effectively clean even the most stubborn dishpan while finding mentors to help you achieve your professional calling who have already graduated from the university you currently attend.
Charms 122
In this course you will learn how to cause someone coming towards you for a hug to move in slow motion to give you time to offer your hand and give an effective 5-star shake.
Charms 123
In this course you will learn how to levitate a wooden pencil a few inches off the table and move it back and forth to direct the festival of searching for data and facts using the Dewey Decimal System.
Charms 124
In this course you will learn how to walk up to someone you’ve never met and cause her miniature poodle to double in size.
Charms 125
In this course you will learn to wipe down the sweaty elliptical you’ve just used with sanitizer, as well as how to light your wand tip to see in case there’s a power outage while you’re working out.
 

My Schedule

Charms 122
Charms 119
Charms 103
Charms 102
Charms 101
Charms 109
Charms 120