UN-SPEAKABLE

by Francis Heaney

Solution: GET OFF OF ME

As clued by the title and the fact that you need "a good ear" to solve this puzzle, the crossword is phonetic, with each square containing a sound. Note that "er" sounds take up a single square.

The crossword is also multilingual. Red clues are Italian, blue clues are Japanese, green clues are French, orange clues are Spanish, and purple clues are German. The unclued brown clues are all words in Furbish, the language spoken by Furbies (as clued in the intro by the words "plush," "refurbished," the common Furby name "Lulu," and "you're a doll," as well as Lulu's progression from knowing little English to knowing more).

The crossword answers are:

Across

1 KOH-KOH (Furbish)
5 MOON = LUNA (Italian)
9 SHEER
12 ONE = ICHI (Japanese)
13 TABOO
14 SHIRTY
15 POEM
16 OVERSEE = SURVEILLE (French)
17 SHOT
18 HEALTHY = SANA (Spanish)
21 A-LOH MAY-LAH (Furbish)
24 SKEIN
25 FIELD
27 TOUR
28 TUESDAY = MARDI (French)
29 DOO-AY (Furbish)
31 RAID
32 MORNING = ASA (Japanese)
33 BLUR
34 YOU'RE WELCOME = PREGO (Italian)
35 CODA
37 LARGELY = GROSS (German)
39 COAT
41 BUT = ABER (German)
43 PIERCE = TROUER (French)
45 STEP = PASO (Spanish)
47 MAY-TAH (Furbish)
48 FINAL = ULTIME (French)
49 THEM = ILS (French)
50 OLEIN
51 PARADE
52 DOG = INU (Japanese)

Down

1 KEEPS
2 EIGHT = OCHO (Spanish)
3 KEA
4 HIGH SOCIETY = HAUTE MONDE (French)
5 WEARY = LASSER (French)
6 OVER = UBER (German)
7 NEW = NOUVEAU (French)
8 ASHAMED
9 SEEK = CHERCHEZ (French)
10 E-TAH (Furbish)
11 DELAY = RITARDO (Italian)
19 MAYBE = ACASO (Spanish)
20 BLACK = NERA (Italian)
22 SONGS = LIEDER (German)
23 LATER = LUEGO (Spanish)
24 SMOCK
25 FEEL
26 WOLF = LUPO (Italian)
27 VERY = TRES (French)
30 AIRSPEED
33 BATON
36 DIRTY
37 GROUP
38 RULER
39 PAPER = KAMI (Japanese)
40 TOH-LOO (Furbish)
41 I LOVE = AMO (Italian)
42 BAIL
44 A-TAY (Furbish)
46 SEEN

Furbish dictionaries can be found online, such as at http://www.langmaker.com/furbish.htm. (Note that the "ay" and the long "A" are interchangeable here, as are the "ee" and the long "E." Also, while some of the online Furbish words differ slightly, these are the most common ones and have been verified with an actual Furby.) The translations of the Furbish words are:

KOH-KOH = AGAIN
A-LOH MAY-TAH = CLOUD
DOO-AY = FUN
MAY-TAH = KISS
E-TAH = YES
TOH-LOO = LIKE
A-TAY = HUNGRY

Inserting these words into the double-crostic gives you the message:

ASK US IF YOU CAN HUG LINDSEY KRINGLE.

Asking to do this earns you an invite to HQ, where you discover that Lindsey Kringle is a stuffed animal. Squeezing said stuffed animal causes it to yelp, "GET OFF OF ME!"