Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED -- We are still pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM -- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION -- We know who to blame.
4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH -- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED -- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE -- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING -- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED -- The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS -- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT -- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL -- Let's spread responsibility for the screw up
12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING -- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION -- I can't wait to hear this BS!
14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS -- Come into my office, I'm lonely.
15. ALL NEW -- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. RUGGED -- Too damn heavy to lift!
17. LIGHTWEIGHT -- Lighter than RUGGED.
18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -- One finally worked.
19. ENERGY SAVING -- Achieved when the power switch is off.
20. LOW MAINTENANCE -- Impossible to fix if broken.

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