Hell's Bells

  1. When I died and went to heaven and had my interview,
    God asked me to make a list of what I like to do;
    But when I gave my list to God, He gave this sad reply:
    "I'm sorry, but we have no morris dancing in the sky."

  2. "No dancers up in heaven above, no legs adorned with bells.
    A morris team would make our people think they were in Hell.
    But "Wait," said God, "that's a good idea. I know just what we'll do.
    A morris team in Hell would be the perfect heaven for you!"

    We're dancers in the underworld on the morris team from Hell.
    'Cause a morris dancer's heaven is to be dancing on Hell's Bells.
    We're dancers, on Hell's Bells and we do the job quite well
    We're the dancers who torment the damned; we're the dancers on Hell's Bells.

  3. So Mephistopheles arrived and God to him did tell,
    The benefits of having morris dancers down in Hell.
    Then Beelzebub said, "This I'll do; it will give me great delight
    To have my people suffer morris dancing day and night."

  4. Now when a man arrives in Hell, and goes into the pub,
    And tries to find a quiet place to sit and eat some grub.
    But every room this man goes in, there's morris dancers there--
    We've eaten all the food and we have drunk up all the beer.

  5. And when this man goes up to bed, his room is so close by
    Our singing keeps him wide awake until the clock strikes five.
    And the slumber of this wretched man lasts fifteen minutes long
    For the next day it is May Day and the Winster starts at dawn.

  6. When we bag, the misers have to to give us all they've got,
    And none of them can take their leave 'till we decide to stop.
    And when we've gone into the pub and got a glass of beer,
    We'll raise a toast to heaven above, "Thank God we're all down here!"

Copyright © 1995 by Jeff Bigler. Permission is hereby granted to copy and/or distribute this music or lyrics by any means for any non-commercial purpose, provided that this copyright notice is included. Permission is also granted to perform this piece before an audience of five hundred (500) or fewer people. Any other use, including but not limited to publication for profit, performance before an audience of more than five hundred (500) people, or recording, requires the author's expressed consent.

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Last modified: 1996/12/26 12:33:43 by