HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends whoexercised.
You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up and down when you see a pretty girl.
The little old gray-headed lady you help across the street is yourwife.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaningagainst the wrong wall.