In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towel please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is not to read notis.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between hours of 9 and 11am daily.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other disease.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktail for ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance:
English well speaking
Here speeching American.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russia Orthodox Cemetary:
You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except thursday.