From: croth@omnifest.uwm.edu (Chris Roth) Newsgroups: alt.censorship Subject: Howard Stern Transcripts Part 1 Date: 10 Jan 1996 11:36:16 -0600 Organization: Omnifest Lines: 255 Message-ID: <4d0teg$j4a@omnifest.uwm.edu> FORWARDED FROM: /professional/law/first/supreme/broad(#112) From:croth(Chris Roth) The following transcript was obtained from the Federal Communications Commission. In 1987, the FCC began a crusade against what it identifies as "indecent" radio content. In 1978, the US Supreme Court established the Pacifica precedent. That 5-4 decision upheld punishment of stations for airing nonobscene-yet-indecent content during daytime hours. It is clear that much of the Stern content is outside of the example of disallowed content embodied in the Pacifica ruling. On the other hand, the inherent vagueness and overbreadth of the precedent may mean that some or all of Stern's talk is legally "indecent." Like their 1973 definition of "obscene" content, the Supremes have refused to issue a definition of "indecent" content that articulates clear boundaries and is not overbroad. [The vagueness and overbreadth test is one of the Court's own rules for determining the constitutionality of a law. That rule was broken in Miller and Pacifica.] Retired Justice Brennan has said that the task of devising a definition of obscenity [and, implicitly, indecency] that lacks vagueness and overbreadth is simply not possible. "Yoda" dissented in the 1973 Miller and 1978 Pacifica decisions, twice siding with the First Amendment. Miller [the obscenity decision] and Pacifica [the indecency decision] were both 5-4. It was in his Miller dissent that "Yoda" formally declared the aforementioned legal adventure to be impossible. Pages 306 and 307 of the second edition of the staid hardcover _The First Amendment and the Fifth Estate_ sport five transcribed Howard Stern segments. Professors T. Barton Carter, Marc A. Franklin, and Jay B. Wright presented highly-edited versions of the Bocci ball, woman-with- limp-acquaintances, New Rochelle park testicle fondling, lesbian politics, and Lambchop puppet bits. Law books are fun! Chris Roth The First Amendment Teach-In (c) 1995 by Chris Roth. All rights reserved. THE HOWARD STERN TRANSCRIPTS PART 1 [begin excerpt] We're back at the Christmas Party . . . and I gotta tell you it's wild in here. Robin . . . the guy who plays the piano with his wiener is here now. (Gay choir) We got two gay guys and a heavy-set woman lesbian (black). Remember you're on the radio, will you honey? I get called a fag hag. Have you ever had a man? Have you been with a man? Disappointment, hell. Oh, you like it? Well, it's not just a preference. It just doesn't turn me on as much . . . you gotta be glad about the 5-minute AIDS test. Now you guys can test each other and then hop into the sack. What is it that men don't find me attractive? . . . men who find other men attractive . . . my uh? . . . your small penis probably. . . How about this? "A Tuckis So Bright"? (Gay choir) - "I'm dreaming of some light torture, some bruises just to make me moan . . . Masturbate. Humiliate. Gay sex is fun in the city. Howard Stern is going to learn how great a tuckis can be. . . ." (To Robin, about to be hypnotized by Dr. Marshall King) Just think about this. Every time I rub my ear, you'll be orgasming. Vinnie Mazzie, ladies and gentlemen. The man who lit his penis on fire . . . and now feels that he can eat six live crickets. . . Here's a guy who plays the piano with his penis. I'll tell you. What a weird crew! She doesn't give me anything as far as jewelry is concerned. That's because you don't have a penis. I think it will be worth the whole show just to hear her have an orgasm when I rub my ear. I understand the doctor (hypnotist) explained that you would not go for that orgasm thing. Like, in other words, that you would not accept it. . . . Boy, you must be difficult in bed. He says he'll hypnotize Bo the lesbian . . . and she's a good subject. She's an empty slate. Bo, you look great. Yes . . . Bo . . . getting very aggressive. Bo just rubbed herself in my face. Juliet (one of the naked girls) getting wild. Oh, my God. Diane (another naked girl) is whipping Bo. Good, girls, excellent. The big black lesbian is out of her mind with lust. Look at her. You can't say it on the air? Were you getting excited? Fabulous. All right. That was really good. Best part of the whole Christmas Party. I want to rub my ear and have this girl go wild for me. . . . When we come back from commercial, we have a young man who wants to play the piano with his, uh, wiener. . . . Howard, I'd better go into the other room and, uh, get it ready. I'll come strolling in swinging it. It's bigger than yours. I've got a rubber. Don't worry about it. And I've got a second rubber for encore. He's going to wear a contraceptive. I do safe organisms . . . orgasms. I'm going to play the Casio. . . . I believe we hit two keys at the same time. You'd better give me the next segment, though. I'm going to get it going. O.K.? Go in the other room and do whatever you have to do to play it. The doctor is now hypnotizing Bo and he wants to know exactly what it is you want her to do. The orgasm thing? I want more. I was thinking of something a little heavier like beg me to make love to her. Oh, there's an idea. You have her beg me . . . go wild for me . . . get off her chair . . . she can't resist me. She'll come and attack you. Right. That's what I want . . . I've never had that. Let's see the Doc do that. We'll be back right after this with a hypnotized Bo and the guy who plays the piano with his penis . . . It's a Chrismas Party! . . . More gay Christmas Songs . . . and the burper . . . he's going to be belching for us . . . and, um . . . 'Gina Girl might even be persuaded to do the 'Gina Dance again. Is there a chance you could do the 'Gina Dance? . . . AUGUST 31, 1986 "Yeah, it was loving even if you didn't know whose cock it was in the dark or whose asshole you were sucking." "I'll give you the gentlest fuck west of the Mississippi." "We cuddled and played around a bit before he started working on my ass." "I remember he was kneeling between my legs and he worked my asshole with lube for the longest time - just gettin' it to relax so there was no tension, no fear." "He lowered himself on top of me and slid his dick in all the way, but so gently, so smoothly, there wasn't even a bit of pain." "His cock felt warm inside me - and full - so nice and full. So he began sliding his cock back and forth inside of my ass - but so gently, so gently." "I don't think I've ever had such a gentle, sensitive fuck before or after. Well, he must have gone at it for twenty minutes at the very least, just slidin' his cock back and forth inside of my ass." "And then he whispered to me, 'You're gonna feel me come inside of you.' And I did. Man, I could feel the cum pulse up his shaft inside my ass. I could count the pulses and it felt warm and good." Actor 1: "You better get yourself ready for some brother-to-brother, sweaty, down and dirty pig sex, you understand?" Actor 2: "Yeah!" 1: None of this nicey-nice, lovey-dovey stuff. I want to make you eat ass, suck my balls, and drink my piss like you never have before. You get me?" 2: "Hot throbbing cocks, hard pounding muscles." 1: "You've got it." EXCERPT 1 Howard Stern: "God, my testicles are like down to the floor. Boy, Susan, you could really have a party with these. I'm telling you honey." Ray: "Use them like Bocci balls." EXCERPT 2 Howard Stern: "Let me tell you something, honey. Those homos you are with are all limp." Ray: "Yeah. You've never even had a real man." Howard Stern: "You've probably never been with a man with a full erection." EXCERPT 3 Susan: "No. I was in a park in New Rochelle, N.Y." Howard Stern: "In a park in New Rochelle? On your knees?" Susan: "No, no." Ray: "And squeezing someone's testicles, probably." EXCERPT 4 Talking to a caller Howard Stern: "I'd ask you your penis size and stuff like that, but I really don't care." EXCERPT 5 As part of a discussion of lesbians Howard Stern: "I mean to go around porking other girls with vibrating rubber products and they want the whole world to come to a standstill." EXCERPT 6 Howard Stern: "Have you ever had sex with an animal?" Caller: "No." Howard Stern: "Well, don't knock it. I was sodomized by Lambchop, you know that puppet Sherri Lewis holds." Howard Stern: "Baaaaah. That's where I was thinking that Sherri Lewis, instead of like sodomizing all the people at the Academy to get the shot on the Emmys she could have had Lambchop do it." JULY 26, 1986 Makin' bacon, makin' bacon, makin' bacon, makin' bacon (Inaudible) A ten-inch cropper with a varicose vein Makin' bacon is on my mind Come here baby, make it quick Kneel down there and suck on my dick Makin' bacon is on my mind Makin' bacon is on my mind Turn around baby let me take you from behind Makin' bacon is on my mind With your blue, blue knickers, you look so neat Bend over baby, gonna give you my meat Makin' bacon is on my mind Get down baby on your hands and knees Take my danish and give it a squeeze Makin' bacon is on my mind Makin' bacon is on my mind Turn around baby let me take you from behind Makin' bacon is on my mind Hey baby, got something to chew Deep throat, baby, it's good for you Makin' bacon is on my mind Makin' bacon is on my mind Turn around baby, let me take you from behind Makin' bacon is on my mind