> >
> >          THE ALL-TIME WORST COUNTRY SONG TITLES
> >
> >     "How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?"
> >
> >     "You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too."
> >
> >     "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life."
> >
> >     "Divorce Me COD."
> >
> >     "You Done Stomped on My Heart (And Smashed That Sucker Flat)."
> >
> >     "You Blackened My Blue Eyes Once Too Often."
> >
> >     "Sleeping Single in a Double Bed."
> >
> >     "I Got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back Crying on My Pillow Over
> >You."
> >
> >     "Take an Old Cold Tate and Wait."
> >
> >     "Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone."
> >
> >     "Fat Friends."
> >
> >     "Naked and Crying."
> >
> >     "Who's Going to Take Out the Garbage When I'm Dead and Gone?"
> >
> >     "Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart."
> >
> >     "I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy."
> >
> >     "Don't Squeeze My Sharmon."
> >
> >     "She's Actin' Single (I'm Drinkin' Doubles)."
> >
> >     "Thanks to the Cathouse I'm in the Doghouse with You."
> >
> >     "Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In."
> >
> >     "My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus."
> >
> >     "If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl."
> >
> >     "Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You."
> >
> >     "If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body (Would You Hold It Against Me)?"
> >
> >     "If Hollywood Don't Need You (Honey I Still Do)."
> >
> >     "Would Jesus Wear a Rolex on His Television Show?"
> >
> >     "Make me Late for Work Today."
> >
> >     "If a Whiskey Were a Woman I'd Be Married For Sure."
> >
> >     "She Feels Like a New Man Tonight."
> >
> >     "My Uncle Used To Love Me but She Died."
> >
> >     "You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffale Herd."
> >
> >     "Next Time I Fall in Love (I Won't)."
> >
> >     "Your Negligee Has Turned to Flannel Nightgowns."
> >
> >     "I'm Going to Hire a Wino To Decorate Our Home."
> >
> >     "The Pint of No Return."
> >
> >     "I'm the Only Hell Mama Ever Raised."
> >
> >     "All I Want From You (Is Away)."
> >
> >     "I've Been Roped and Throwed by Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral."
> >
> >     "If I Aint Got It (You Don't Need It)."
> >
> >     "I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)."
> >
> >     "Get Your Biscuts in the Oven and Get Your Buns in the Bed."
> >
> >     "I'll Marry You Tomorrow, but Let's Honeymoon Tonight."
> >
> >     "I Ain't No Cowboy (I Just Found This Hat)."
> >
> >     "She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)."
> >
> >     "I'm Always on a Mountain When I Fall."
> >
> >     "Hank Drank."
> >
> >     "It Ain't Love, but It Ain't Bad."
> >
> >     "I Wish I Could Hurt That Way Again."
> >
> >     "I Wanted You to Leave (Until You Left Me)."
> >
> >     "Kiss a Pig."
> >
> >     "Peel Me a Nanner."
> >
> >     "War is Hell on the Homefront Too."
> >
> >     "All My Exes Live in Texas."
> >
> >     "I Wish You Could Have Turned My Head (and Left My Heart Alone)."
> >
> >     "You're Going to Ruin My Bad Reputation."
> >
> >     "If Fingerprints Showed Up on Skin (Wonder Whose I'd Find on You)?"
> >
> >     "I've Been Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart."
> >
> >     "I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling."
> >
> >     "Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth (Becase I'm Kissing You Goodbye)."
> >
> >                                 Written by Scott Ian Rothbart
> >