In this yoga instructional video, each new lesson begins with a pose named in English (“boat pose” for example) and used as the starting point for reaching a strange new pose, identified in subtitles with a weird and vaguely-Dutch-looking name (“remt wuclek vrijgenrlei”, for example). (A Dutch speaker or translation engine will tell you they’re nonsense—in fact these names were generated by a char-rnn neural net trained, but not very well, on a Dutch translation of a Sherlock Holmes novel.)
The English pose names are real standard yoga asanas, each of which has a Sanskrit name with a standard Latin transliteration; for example boat pose is “paripurna navasana.”
For each pose, you should notice that the cod-Dutch and Sanskrit names share an enumeration—and furthermore that they further have a single-letter collision. There is a U in the sixth character in both “paripurna navasana” and “slabhueik tewersor”, for example.
Read those collision letters in the order of the video, and they spell UNEARTHLY HIERONYMUS ASANAS.
If you didn’t magically recognize them from the poses, that explains what the yoga studios are: they match up with the three panels of the Hieronymus Bosch triptych The Garden of Earthly Delights—beginners in Eden, Earth yoga in the “Earthly delights” center panel, hot yoga in the left-panel Hell.
Zoom into the Garden (have a bottle of eyebleach handy) and find the unique person/animal/person-animal hybrid/eggbirdbeast shown holding each new weird yoga pose you have just learned, and indeed each such character is in the position of one of the numbered yoga mats.
Asana (Sanskrit) | New pose (Dutch) | Letter crash | # on yoga mat | Index D/S | Bosch image | Yoga image |
|
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | PARIPURNA NAVASANA | SLABHUEIK TEWERSOR | U | 4 | B/I | ||
2 | UTTANA SHISHOSANA | ORKINT WADROUIDEN | N | 12 | U/O | ||
3 | SETU BANDHA SAVANGASANA | REMT WUCLEK VRIJGENRLEI | E | 7 | C/N | ||
4 | MARJARYASANA / BITILASANA | HAARTERGENAT / AFDEEKTEZE | A | 14 | F/I | ||
5 | VRKSASANA | ORSIERSTE | R | 4 | I/S | ||
6 | ARDHA UTTANASANA | ZONGE EGTEBENEER | T | 7 | G/T | ||
7 | URDHVA PRASARITA EKA PADASANA | ELOHER BEEOOTVAR DAS GEBRONER | H | 16 | D/E | ||
8 | SALABHASANA | OJLOGENFDAS | L | 2 | J/A | ||
9 | MARICHYASANA | ENSPARYENSTE | Y | 4 | P/I | ||
10 | PADANGUSTHASANA | HORGENGICHDAGEN | H | 6 | N/G | ||
11 | PARIGHASANA | ENLIJNOORME | I | 10 | M/N | ||
12 | EKA PADA NIRALAMBA NAVASANA | EGY DERS ACHTROEPE FSCHERDE | E | 3 | Y/A | ||
13 | PARYANKASANA | NERERMALEEER | R | 9 | E/S | ||
14 | ADHO MUKHA VRKSASANA | NAAO VLOCH WELDERMAF | O | 17 | A/N | ||
15 | SALAMBA SIRSASANA | ZEKTEEN ERACHTENU | N | 3 | K/L | ||
16 | ANJANEYASANA | OPRICHYENDEN | Y | 6 | H/E | ||
17 | ADHO MUKHA SVANASANA | ZOAW MERAN HAGZERKIK | M | 4 | W/O | ||
18 | URDHVA HASTASANA | ULGIOM VENSORERE | U | 5 | O/V | ||
19 | PARIVRTTA TRIKONASANA | HOOMTWAND KAMZSIJSOEN | S | 14 | S/O | ||
20 | MALASANA | VATLPERD | A | 3 | T/L | ||
21 | TADASANA | BQOOSTEG | S | 2 | Q/A | ||
22 | DANDASANA | RARTWADEN | A | 1 | R/D | ||
23 | GARUDASANA | ALVONSCHNG | N | 3 | V/R | ||
24 | SAVASANA | XAHTIKEN | A | 1 | X/S | ||
25 | ADHO MUKHA MANDUKASANA | WOEL DEELD ENGENATSHEP | S | 4 | L/O |
Take the number on the yoga mat. It’s an index into something, but what? Index into the cod-Dutch, you’ll get 25 unique letters from letters A through Y—that’s the sorting mechanism. Index into the Sanskrit, you’ll get a new set of letters.
Sort the Sanskrit-extracted letters by the Dutch-extracted keys and you get the NINE SITES ALONG VIA DOLOROSA. The Via Dolorosa is, in New Testament tradition, the path Jesus walked carrying the cross; nine notable things along the Via Dolorosa are STATIONS OF THE CROSS, which is the answer.
Below the table is an image of the full Bosch/yoga studio setup overlaid with the relevant yoga poses.
Sanskrit | Fake Dutch | Sort (Dutch) | Readout (Sanskrit) |
---|---|---|---|
ADHO MUKHA VRKSASANA | NAAO VLOCH WELDERMAF | A | N |
PARIPURNA NAVASANA | SLABHUEIK TEWERSOR | B | I |
SETU BANDHA SAVANGASANA | REMT WUCLEK VRIJGENRLEI | C | N |
URDHVA PRASARITA EKA PADASANA | ELOHER BEEOOTVAR DAS GEBRONER | D | E |
PARYANKASANA | NERERMALEEER | E | S |
MARJARYASANA / BITILASANA | HAARTERGENAT / AFDEEKTEZE | F | I |
ARDHA UTTANASANA | ZONGE EGTEBENEER | G | T |
ANJANEYASANA | OPRICHYENDEN | H | E |
VRKSASANA | ORSIERSTE | I | S |
SALABHASANA | OJLOGENFDAS | J | A |
SALAMBA SIRSASANA | ZEKTEEN ERACHTENU | K | L |
ADHO MUKHA MANDUKASANA | WOEL DEELD ENGENATSHEP | L | O |
PARIGHASANA | ENLIJNOORME | M | N |
PADANGUSTHASANA | HORGENGICHDAGEN | N | G |
URDHVA HASTASANA | ULGIOM VENSORERE | O | V |
MARICHYASANA | ENSPARYENSTE | P | I |
TADASANA | BQOOSTEG | Q | A |
DANDASANA | RARTWADEN | R | D |
PARIVRTTA TRIKONASANA | HOOMTWAND KAMZSIJSOEN | S | O |
MALASANA | VATLPERD | T | L |
UTTANA SHISHOSANA | ORKINT WADROUIDEN | U | O |
GARUDASANA | ALVONSCHNG | V | R |
ADHO MUKHA SVANASANA | ZOAW MERAN HAGZERKIK | W | O |
SAVASANA | XAHTIKEN | X | S |
EKA PADA NIRALAMBA NAVASANA | EGY DERS ACHTROEPE FSCHERDE | Y | A |