Comma and a Freaking Dot
by Jeff Roberts
This puzzle is an homage to the song “Semicolon” by The Lonely Island.
In this version, every other line clues a punctuation mark or symbol, and the preceding line clues something that rhymes with it.
Taking the letters clued by the enumeration spells RAP ABOUT ELLIPSES, which is the instruction teams must follow.
| Lyric | Answer | Letter |
|---|---|---|
| We’ll get you itching for a good time; | RASH | R |
| Off the blocks like Usain Bolt; | DASH | |
| If you think you can endure; | BEAR IT | A |
| Go ahead and jump right in the middle; | CARET | |
| We’ll show you all the best spots; | PLACES | P |
| Set you straight like an orthodontist; | BRACES | |
| If you leave we’ll let you back in; | STAMP YOUR HAND | A |
| You know we put it all together; | AMPERSAND | |
| Making trades when the market’s hot; | BULL SWAP | B |
| Until they slam the brakes on; | FULL STOP | |
| The rich just think we’re nobodies; | NONENTITIES | O |
| Nothing more than an afterthought; | PARENTHESES | |
| They cut our legs off at the knees; | AMPUTATION JOINT | U |
| But we’re going out with a bang; | EXCLAMATION POINT | |
| We spit acid like sour milk; | LACTIC | T |
| Like a parasite from behind; | BACKTICK | |
| Make off with all the hot goods; | STOLEN | E |
| Clean them out like an enema; | COLON | |
| We’ll sell it at the booty shop; | PLUNDER STORE | L |
| Draw everyone’s attention to it; | UNDERSCORE | |
| Flood’s coming, get your boats ready; | FLOTATION ARKS | L |
| You can tell them it was me that said it; | QUOTATION MARKS | |
| Let’s empty out the gas tank; | SIPHON | I |
| Break it off to end their line; | HYPHEN | |
| We climb up like marsupials; | OPOSSUM TREE | P |
| Shout out to our dead homies; | APOSTROPHE | |
| Turn the RPMs up on that record; | FASTER DISC | S |
| Our success is unqualified; | ASTERISK | |
| See our record covers everywhere; | JACKETS | E |
| Mount a trophy shelf on the wall; | BRACKETS | |
| We’re saying it with emphasis; | STRESSED REMARK | S |
| Curvy line and a freaking dot; | QUESTION MARK |
After submitting their rap, teams receive a link to an audio file which is itself a ripoff of another Lonely Island song (specifically, Spell It Out).
Using a fixed-width font, typing the rapped-out symbols makes the following image (with credit to asciiart.website):
-''--.
_`> `\.-'<
_.' _ '._
.' _.=' '=._ '.
>_ / /_\ /_\ \ _<
/ ( \o/\\o/ ) \
>._\ .-,_)-. /_.<
/__/ \__\
'---'
This image, and the “Full name, yo” comment at the end of the rap confirm that the answer is ALBERT EINSTEIN.