By Kevin Hwang
Answer: INSULT HEADQUARTERS TO FINISH PUZZLE
This puzzle was designed to be swapped in during Hunt in case another puzzle turned out to be hopelessly broken. If this had happened, their “final” answer would have been that of the puzzle they replaced, and that answer would have been given to teams who carried out the instruction that is extracted from this puzzle.

Solvers are provided with a grid containing crossword clues. Solving some of those clues should reveal that all answer words begin with the letters I, H, T, F, or P. The completed grid is shown here:

Square root of negative one (1)

I

“Laugh-___” (2)

IN

Greek (8)

HELLENIC

It’s found in New Roman variety (5)

TIMES

Satisfied (9)

FULFILLED

Nostradamus’ most famous work, with “The” (10)

PROPHECIES

Original style of light bulb (12)

INCANDESCENT

Put-down (6)

INSULT

Own (4)

HAVE

Line found in email headers (2)

TO

Conclude (6)

FINISH

Jay-Z has 99 (8)

PROBLEMS

“Chronicle of a Death ___” (8)

FORETOLD

Measurements obtained from thermometers (12)

TEMPERATURES

Highly radioactive (3)

HOT

Growing (10)

INCREASING

“___, Madly, Deeply” (5)

TRULY

Spinoff of Cars (Pixar) (6)

PLANES

“One ___ Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (4)

FLEW

TV Land show starring the Katydids (8)

TEACHERS

Cambridge area college and T station (7)

HARVARD

Word often found with Then and Else (2)

IF

Element with highest known melting point (8)

TUNGSTEN

It’s released in an exothermic reaction (4)

HEAT

Not lost (5)

FOUND

First half of this hunt’s theme (6)

INSIDE

Harry’s alma mater (8)

HOGWARTS

“Fawlty ___” (6)

TOWERS

Member of order Diptera (3)

FLY

Ghosts responsible for physical disturbances (12)

POLTERGEISTS

Thin wire or thread (8)

FILAMENT

Bus-to-Bus or Subway-to-Bus, e.g. (8)

TRANSFER

Club adjacent to the MIT Nuclear Reactor (8)

PARADISE

Crazy (6)

INSANE

“___ Feeling Lucky” (2)

I’M

Type of aid sometimes used by elderly (7)

HEARING

What it takes to tango (3)

TWO

Instrument depicted in Jethro Tull’s logo (5)

FLUTE

Divides or separates (5)

PARTS

Type of loop (3)

FOR

This is one friggin’ example (6)

PUZZLE

They can be associates, assistants, or full (10)

PROFESSORS

NYPD’s nickname: New York’s ___ (6)

FINEST

Most common word in the English language (3)

THE

“I Can ___ Cheezburger” (3)

HAS

The I in MIT (9)

INSTITUTE

The UN’s is in New York City (12)

HEADQUARTERS

Charge induced by mechanical stresses (16)

PIEZO-ELECTRICITY

The grid now forms a word-word search for phrases fitting the pattern “IHTFP”. This is hinted by the title and flavortext (“I Hate This Friggin’ Puzzle”), and may be confirmed by common expansions of IHTFP occurring in the grid: I HAVE TRULY FOUND PARADISE and INSTITUTE HAS THE FINEST PROFESSORS.

There are 10 IHTFP phrases in total. After eliminating all of these, 5 words remain. Arranging them in standard order yields the instruction INSULT HEADQUARTERS TO FINISH PUZZLE.


Rejected alternative final instructions:

INFURIATE HEADQUARTERS TO FINISH PUZZLE
INEBRIATE HEADQUARTERS TO FINISH PUZZLE
INCONVENIENCE HEADQUARTERS TO FINISH PUZZLE
INCRIMINATE HEADQUARTERS TO FINISH PUZZLE
IMMOLATE HEADQUARTERS TO FINISH PUZZLE