Solution to Magnitude

by Ari Nieh

The first letters of the clues spell out:

AWHAT AYABO DOEST HESCO ITIES QUANT THESE UTALL UTERS VEGET
Rearranging the groups of five to a more pleasant order yields:
VEGET AWHAT DOEST HESCO UTERS AYABO UTALL THESE QUANT ITIES

VEGETA WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT ALL THESE QUANTITIES
which is an allusion to the "Over 9000" meme.

Assign a value of 1 to the quantities which are over 9000, and 0 to those which are not.

0 Violins in the Berlin Philharmonic
1 Europe's land area, in square kilometers
0 Groups of order 72
0 Earth-Pluto distance, in AUs
1 Tennessee's GSP per capita, in dollars

0 Axial tilt of the earth, in degrees
1 Weight of Konishiki on the surface of the sun, in pounds
1 Hats owned by Roger "Buckey" Legried
1 Annual rainfall at Mount Wai'ale'ale, in millimeters
0 Tentacles on a sea nettle

0 Days in a decade
0 Olympic medals awarded in 2008
1 Elephant population of India
0 Strikeouts by Nolan Ryan
1 Total mass of all popes, in kilograms

1 Heat generated by a bonfire, in joules
0 Eagle species
0 Sailors who completed Magellan's expedition
0 Children in the Von Trapp family
1 Odyssey's length, in lines

1 Ultimate frisbee field size, in square feet
0 Total players in the 2010 World Cup
1 Empire State Building's height, in inches
0 Rods in a nautical mile
1 Solar luminosity, in watts

0 Atomic weight of Unununium
0 Years since the creation of the earth, according to the Jewish calendar
0 Area of a circle with radius 50
0 Bumblebee hive population
1 Overall volume of the Supreme Court justices, in fluid ounces

0 Uranus' orbital period, in fortnights
1 Time since 1970, in seconds
1 Atoms in Leonard Nimoy's left earlobe
0 Legs on a millipede
0 Length of Der Ring des Nibelungen, in minutes

0 Triangular faces of a snub cube
1 Height of a poodle, in micrometers
0 Electrons in a molecule of caffeine
0 Smoots in a nautical mile
1 Eel consumption in Japan every year, in tons

1 Quadratic polynomials over the field of order 32
0 Ur-Quan Dreadnought crew capacity
1 Average weekly calories consumed by an American adult
0 Ninth Catalan number
0 Tails on a kitsune

1 International Date Line's length, in miles
1 Twilight sales
0 Islands in the Philippines
0 Euler characteristic of a Klein bottle
1 Senator's salary, in dollars

Since the clues are grouped in blocks of five, read them as five-bit binary, then convert to letters using A=1, B=2, etc. to yield the answer INEQUALITY.