Each of the paragraphs is a biographical sketch of a fictional kid. The characters are also each in a disctinct grade of school. In the order presented, they are:
Bart Simpson (The Simpsons) grade 4 Binky Barnes (Arthur) grade 3 Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes) grade 1 Cameron Frye (Ferris Bueller's Day Off) grade 12 Janice Avery (Bridge to Terabithia) grade 7 Janie Loomis (Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret) grade 6 Jeff Fishkin (There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom) grade 5 Lawrence Talbot (I Was a Second Grade Werewolf) grade 2 Leah (Juno) grade 11 Sabrina Davis (Dazed and Confused) grade 9 Tai Frasier (Clueless) grade 10
Solvers should notice that these paragraphs have very different, somewhat constrained writing styles. Noting the distinct grade levels of the characters, and the portrayal of these paragraphs as school essays, one might try calculating the Flesch-Kincaid grade level of each passage. (The title also mildly clues this, with the F-K initial letters.) Each passage has a near-integer grade level:
Bart Simpson Grade Level 5.003 (5) Binky Barnes Grade Level 6.003 (6) Calvin Grade Level 8.9978 (9) Cameron Frye Grade Level 11.0032 (11) Janice Avery Grade Level -.0005 (0) Janie Loomis Grade Level 3.98098 (4) Jeff Fishkin Grade Level 1.99801 (2) Lawrence Talbot Grade Level 1.00778 (1) Leah Grade Level 6.9966 (7) Sabrina Davis Grade Level 10.002 (10) Tai Frasier Grade Level 12.004 (12)
(Note that the numbers vary slightly depending on the calculation tool used; these numbers came from applying the formula by hand.)
These Flesch-Kincaid grade levels correspond to the actual grade levels of other characters. Forming a chain starting with grade level zero, a clue phrase can be read down the diagonal of the ordered names:Janiceavery 7 written in 0 lEah 11 written in 7 caMeronfrye 12 written in 11 taiFraiser 10 written in 12 sabrInadavis 9 written in 10 calviN 1 written in 9 lawrenCetalbot 2 written in 1 jefffisHkin 5 written in 2 bartsimpSon 4 written in 5 janieloomIs 6 written in 4 binkybarneS 3 written in 6JEM FINCH SIS