I understand that the police have to make inquiries. But they could have interviewed all those oily characters on this side of the lobby, by the ticket counters, instead of the other side. People are trying to eat!
Date: Mardi Gras, 2007
From: F. B. Delonge
To: Anna Berg
Here are the results of the interviews with those fatcats. Of course, some of these guys are members of that killer gang, and except for the routes they took their testimony is utterly false; just ignore what they say. Good luck finding the ringleader; he could be clear across the country by now.
Interviewee A: "I started in New Orleans. I headed NE until I was due E of St Louis, then headed directly to Cincinnati, then Buffalo, then Boston. I then went to Richmond along the coast, having breakfast in New York and lunch right after leaving Washington. Ooh!"
Interviewee B: "I started just west of Duluth, and went straight to Bismark, then crossed the Missouri to the SW. I then went straight to Omaha, then back E across the Missouri. I went directly to Minneapolis and had breakfast. I went a bit E, a bit SE, and a bit NE, and made a beeline for Cincinnati. I had lunch there, and then went straight on Buffalo. Ooh!"
Interviewee C: "Ooh! I started in Omaha. I headed a bit SW, then went straight to Denver for breakfast. After that, I headed a bit NW, and then went straight through Salt Lake City and a bit beyond. I then headed a bit NW, had lunch, and went directly to Medford. Finally, I headed up the coast to Portland."
Interviewee D: "Ooh! I started in Jacksonville, headed directly through Atlanta and a bit further, and then across to Memphis. I zigzagged NW-NE-NW-NE, having breakfast on the way when I was due E of Oklahoma City, then headed due E to Cincinnati, having lunch just before I got there. I went a bit SE, headed SW till I was due E of my breakfast site, and went a bit SE again. Finally, I headed E to the coast, then up the coast and due W to Winston."
Interviewee E: "Ooh! I started in Santa Fe. I headed directly to Oklahoma City, and had breakfast. I then went straight to the point equidistant between Salt Lake City, Helena, Bismark, and Omaha. I went a bit W, had lunch, and went a bit NW. I then headed in the direction of Salt Lake City, going three times the actual distance to Salt Lake City, and then went a bit SE."
Interviewee F: "Ooh! I started in San Diego. I then zigzagged NE-NW five times, having breakfast and lunch after the third and fourth time respectively. Then I zigzagged E-SE until I reached Omaha. Finally, I went a bit SW, and headed straight on to Denver."
Interviewee G: "Ooh! I started in New Orleans, and went straight to Jacksonville, having breakfast just after leaving New Orleans. I then went up the coast to Boston, having lunch on the way in Charleston, and from there went straight to Buffalo."
Interviewee H: "I started in Sacramento. I headed down the coast just past San Francisco, then E a bit. Next, I headed a bit away from Sacramento, then a bit away from Los Angeles, then E a bit. After that,I headed a bit away from San Diego, a bit away from Salt Lake city, then E a bit again. Then I went SE a bit, and then headed E to the W bank of the Mississippi, and had breakfast. Finally, I followed the Mississippi up to St Louis, and had lunch. Ooh!"
Interviewee I: "I started in San Francisco. I headed a bit E, then zigzagged NE-NW-NE-NW until I was just SE of Portland. I headed NE until I reached Canada, then went along the border all the way to Chicago, having breakfast on the way in Duluth. Then I headed due E to the coast (having lunch halfway through). Ooh!"
Interviewee J: "I started in Sacramento. I went up the coast to Portland, then a bit E, and then headed directly to Salt Lake City. I went E to Omaha (having breakfast and lunch when I was 20% and 60% of the way, respectively). Ooh!"
Interviewee K: "Ooh! Starting in Kansas City, I went directly to Oklahoma City, then directly to Santa Fe, and had breakfast. I went a bit more in that same direction, then headed two thirds of the way to Denver, and had lunch. Then I went a bit E and a bit SE, then made a beeline for Omaha. Finally, I went due W, a quarter of the way to the coast."
Interviewee L: "I started in Charleston. I went directly to Winston, then to Washington. I then went a bit NW, and headed NE to the border. I traveled along the border, having breakfast in Buffalo and lunch due E of Minneapolis, until I reached Duluth. Ooh!"
Interviewee M: "Ooh! I started in St. Louis, headed straight to Kansas City, and had breakfast. Then I went directly to Omaha, having lunch halfway along, then went a bit W, and headed straight to Santa Fe. From there I went directly to Oklahoma City, and continued on in the same direction for an equal distance. Finally, I made a beeline for Houston, then zigzagged NW-NE to Dallas."
Interviewee N: "Ooh! I started in Atlanta, headed a bit E, and had breakfast. I then went straight to Richmond, and then in rapid succession went W-NW-NE-W-SW-SE-W-NW-NE (having lunch when halfway between Memphis and Cincinnati). Finally, I went directly to Duluth."
Interviewee O: "I started in El Paso, traveled along the border to Houston, then went NE to a point just W of Memphis. Then I headed straight to Kansas City, crossed the river, and headed straight to Bismark. Finally, I went NE to the border, had breakfast, and traveled along the border until I reached Duluth (having lunch just before I arrived). Ooh!"
Interviewee P: "I started just E of Portland, and headed directly to Salt Lake City and a bit beyond. I then went straight to Los Angeles.Finally, I went up the coast to the Canadian border (having breakfast in Portland and lunch in Seattle). Ooh!"