by Francis Heaney


The answer to each trivia question contains a state abbreviation, and each state abbreviation appears only once in the entire list of answers. If you assign each state its color from an electoral map of the 2000 presidential election (as clued by "when, back in 2000, I was elected president"), and then assign the digit 1 to the blue states and the digit 0 to the red states (as clued by "blue ribbon that indicates my #1 finish" and "red in the face with a big zero") you get ten binary numbers, all of which equal 26 or less. Changing each numbers to its alphabetical equivalent gives you a former president of Iran, RAFSANJANI.

Song on the B-side of the single whose A-side was parodied by the Rutles as "Ouch!" = I'M DOWN (opposite "Help!") = MD = Maryland = blue
Chuck Jones movie based on a book illustrated by Jules Feiffer = THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH = MT = Montana = red
Name shared by an Orange County band and a more well-known one until a September 2006 District Court injunction = SUPERNOVA = VA = Virginia = red
Actress who changed her name when she learned she wasn't Todd Rundgren's daughter = LIV TYLER (actually Steven Tyler's daughter) = VT = Vermont = blue
Event commemorated by a tapestry which was duplicated in the 1880s for exhibition in the United Kingdom = THE BATTLE OF HASTINGS (the Bayeux Tapestry) = IN = Indiana = red
Candy mentioned in an album title by the band from which Portastatic sprouted as a side project = POCKY (Superchunk's No Pocky for Kitty) = KY = Kentucky = red
Abbreviation for the organization that featured Wranglers, Maulers, and Breakers = USFL (United States Football League) = FL = Florida = red
Holiday celebration which was launched in 1976 and features ice sculptures in Boston Common = FIRST NIGHT = TN = Tennessee = red
Full name of the organization that tried to sponsor a stretch of highway in Missouri later named after Rosa Parks = THE KU KLUX KLAN (Rosa Parks Highway) = LA = Louisiana = red
Mexican specialty stuffed with corn and black beans at Border Cafe = EMPANADA = PA = Pennsylvania = blue
1996 video game whose soundtrack was composed by Trent Reznor = QUAKE = AK = Alaska = red
10-part miniseries (based on a non-fiction book) whose title is a brief quotation from Shakespeare's Henry V = BAND OF BROTHERS = ND = North Dakota = red
Alcoholic beverage seen in an advertisement on the Babylon 5 episode "TKO" = ZIMA = MA = Massachusetts = blue
Singer who inspired a poem upon which the hit "Killing Me Softly with His Song" was based = DON MCLEAN (poem by Lori Lieberman) = NM = New Mexico = blue
Artist with a famous engraving that includes both a magic square and an irregular eight-sided solid = ALBRECHT DURER ("Melencolia I") = AL = Alabama = red
Cartoon character whose one-word catchphrase was added to the OED in 2001 = HOMER SIMPSON ("D'oh!") = ME = Maine = blue
Song from the movie "Asses of Fire" = UNCLE FUCKA (South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut) = NC = North Carolina = red
Musical guest on the Saturday Night Live episode featuring the sketch "Holding Your Own Boobs Magazine" = BACKSTREET BOYS = KS = Kansas = red
Fictional lounge singer whose name has the same number of letters as his creator, and whose name shares the same 4th, 8th, and 11th letters as his = TONY CLIFTON (created by Andy Kaufman) = NY = New York = blue
Name of Space Ghost's pet Sea Monkey (which grew out of control and had to be killed) = NJ = BANJO = New Jersey = blue
Comic strip co-created by Dashiell Hammett = SECRET AGENT X-9 = TX = Texas = red
Fashionable district of Tokyo documented in the book Fruits = HARAJUKU = AR = Arkansas = red
Providence performing group who established a Boston troupe last year, which performs in the same building as the New Rep = IMPROV JONES = NE = Nebraska = red
Second solo album released by the man who wrote or cowrote six of the songs on the album Rolling Stone listed as #115 on its list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time = RAW VELVET (Bobby Whitlock, who wrote songs on Derek and the Dominos' Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs) = WV = West Virginia = red
Compound whose chemical abbreviation (if you ignore the number 3 at the end) shares a spelling with a popular model of MP3 player introduced in September 2005 = SODIUM NITRATE (NaNO) = MN = Minnesota = blue
Film in which the protagonists pursue a teen touring with Sugar Ray = FATHERS' DAY = SD = South Dakota = red
Law named for its sponsor and passed by Congress despite a veto by Woodrow Wilson, and repealed 14 years later = THE VOLSTEAD ACT (Eighteenth Amendment) = CT = Connecticut = blue
Advertising mascot that originally spoke in Pig Latin = TOUCAN SAM = CA = California = blue
Singer who performed a 1988 cover version of a song whose title is a word "used to express fatigue, mild surprise, boredom, disappointment, or sometimes exultation," according to the American Heritage Dictionary = TOM WAITS ("Heigh-Ho") = WA = Washington = blue
Robot constructed, in part, from a gumball machine and a toy bank = TOM SERVO = MS = Mississippi = red
Band originally named after a Georgia city that shares a name with a porn star who shot herself after a drunk driving accident in 1994, although the band name was spelled with a single letter while the city and porn star's name had a double letter = SAWYER BROWN (originally Savanah, and the porn star is Savannah) = WY = Wyoming = red
Military force (only extant in France and Spain) to which Porky Pig belongs in the cartoon Little Beau Porky = THE FOREIGN LEGION = OR = Oregon = blue
Film that featured the Academy Award winners for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Actress, and Best Supporting Actress of 1978, 1979, 1997, and 2000, not necessarily in that order (remember that, for example, the Academy Award for 2000 is presented in 2001) = HOOK (Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts, and Maggie Smith) = OK = Oklahoma = red
Last person to die in the Bible before Sarah = LOT'S WIFE = WI = Wisconsin = blue
Singer who served in her country's military for two years, took second place in the Eurovision Song Contest, and went on to perform duets with both Lou Reed and Paula Abdul = OFRA HAZA = AZ = Arizona = red
Rolling Stones album title that is also the subtitle of an album by the Mekons = OUT OF OUR HEADS (Oooh!) = UT = Utah = red
Screenwriter who described movies as "an eruption of trash that has lamed the American mind" = BEN HECHT = NH = New Hampshire = red
Word which controversially appeared in a New York Times Monday crossword last spring = SCUMBAG = SC = South Carolina = red
Singing group that played a group of prostitutes in the movie Batman Forever = EN VOGUE NV = Nevada = red
Of the two songs in which George Harrison rhymes "astray" with the name of a city in Asia, the one with the easternmost city = NOT GUILTY (Mandalay, east of Bombay, from "Miss O'Dell") = IL = Illinois = blue
Fundraising concert opened by a band who briefly (in the 1960s) had the same name as Steve Winwood's band = LIVE AID (Status Quo, formerly Traffic) = ID = Idaho = red
Movie also known as The Return of Maxwell Smart = THE NUDE BOMB = DE = Delaware = blue
Musician who made his debut playing drums on the 1974 song "Ya-Ya" = JULIAN LENNON (song by John Lennon) = IA = Iowa = blue
Radio host who renounced Amanda Palmer's love = CHRISTOPHER LYDON (subject of the song of the same name by Palmer's The Dresden Dolls) = RI = Rhode Island = blue
Projectile move unleashed by Dhalsim with a quarter-rotation of the joystick and a punch button = YOGA FIRE (Street Fighter game series) = GA = Georgia = red
Housewares brand that becomes a clothing brand with a rhino logo when its two middle letters are swapped = EKCO (*ecko unltd) = CO = Colorado = red
Song performed by Waylon Smithers on "The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour" = WHIP IT = HI = Hawaii = blue
Band whose debut album took its title from a sketch on a Jerky Boys album = RADIOHEAD (Pablo Honey) = OH = Ohio = red
Role played on Broadway by Lester Scharff, Angus Cairns, and James Valentine = MOCK TURTLE (Alice in Wonderland) = MO = Missouri = red
Of the various band names Stone Temple Pilots had before they settled on "Stone Temple Pilots," the one that did not have the initials STP = MIGHTY JOE YOUNG = MI = Michigan = blue

BRRBR = 10010 = 18 = R
RRRRB = 00001 = 1 = A
RRBBR = 00110 = 6 = F
BRRBB = 10011 = 19 = S
RRRRB = 00001 = 1 = A
RBBBR = 01110 = 14 = N
RBRBR = 01010 = 10 = J
RRRRB = 00001 = 1 = A
RBBBR = 01110 = 14 = N
RBRRB = 01001 = 9 = I

Broken tag fixed in 2010 by the archivists of Beginner's Luck