2010-2011 Grim Beaver Roster
Andy Barry - 42
Year: G
Coming straight out of Olin College, Andy has yet to convince the team he is not a robot. His mechanical dismantling of other teams leaves them with no hope. As a hybrid cutter/handler, he is dangerous on all sides of the disc, and his height makes him a danger to all.
Turner Bohlen - 21
Year: 1
Turns McBurns is the toast of the town, the cream of the crop. As a freshman, he brings height and joviality to an otherwise not very serious anyways team. His long locks of golden hair may remind you of sunshine and California. He may also be from there, but I don't really know. Regardless of his origin, this mighty man is here to stay, so watch out.
Craig Bonnoit - 85
Year: G
A second year member of the ultimate team, Craig Bonnoit is best known for two things: first, his long-standing "It's Complicated" status on Facebook with Dillon Gardner, and second, his insance pecs. It has been estimated that 90% of Craig's layouts have been accidental due to the fact that he is so top-heavy that once he leans forward far enough, he simply can't get back up. As a cutter on the team, his deep cut is to be feared, and his flick break is a thing that will haunt your dreams for years.
Ravi Charan - 63
Year: 1
Bringing the total number of rookies who can handle to a remarkable two, Ravi's face is plastered all over the walls of MIT (Mitmap.com -- look it up). Ravi's goal in life is to one day weigh more than his girlfriend; another goal is to have a girlfriend. A consummate winner, the only advice I can give to those guarding him is to switch players (probably to Kes).
Arvind Chari - 16
Year: G
At the first practice, most people thought Arvind was just a really hairy freshman. Frankly, we still aren't sure he isn't one. His nickname is "Quicksilver." No one ever calls him that as I just made it up on the spot. But still... Think about it. Speed-wise he is somewhere between "catch me if you can" but closer to "they're after me lucky charms!!" so good luck to whoever guards this fellow. He is still on a quest to discover his inner shark.
Mark Cutler - 2
Year: G
A new addition to the team, Mark's speed makes his deep threat dangerous, but give him the in, and he will run you into the ground. As relentless as a wall in tennis, this man is your daddy. Like LeVar Burton, this reading Rambo knows where the disc will be and never fails to pull it down. He truly can go anywhere. Just take a look.
Paul Ennever - 28
Year: G
As a returner, Paul brings his experience to the game. Add to that his recent development of being able to run like a cheetah, and you have a fusion of knowledge and talent. A physics grad student, he can most likely tell you where the disc will land as it leaves your hand. Mostly because he handblocks it straight to the ground.
Isaac Entz - 17
Year: 4
Entz is easily the best-looking man on the team. He holds the team together by providing a solid rock of advice for anyone needing help. A true inspiration to all of us on the field, his incredible physique and the layout he pulled last game to save the team are legendary; expect to hear about them. Also, this fact is for you ladies: Entz is currently single, so look him up. He has helped me through some hard times and is well known to be quite the catch. Sure there are plenty of fish in the sea, but why not try for the best-looking one?
Calvin French-Owen - 23
Year: 3
A modern day T-Rex, Calvin's arms don't reach up past his head. Despite this shortcoming, Calvin "Chainsaw" McGee has long been feared for his deep cuts. Go ahead and try to force him out--I dare you. Free points for us. A third-year veteran, Calvin is one of the captains of the team and a good source of advice and goofy-looking grins. Never to be found without his general-purpose smile, Chuckles will run all over you and then run a marathon. No really, this actually happened. It is not like those Chuck Norris jokes. Calvin really does only have two speeds. Somewhat fast, and somewhat faster.
Dillon Gardner - 8
Year: G
Craig's long-standing "It's Complicated" relationship status partner on Facebook, Dillon looks like the love child of a Viking and a mountain man. His beard is legendary and he can probably drink you under the table as well. One of our main handlers, he will break your mark left and right, and if you contest the foul, he will break you left and right. Often confused with Thor, this man brings the thunder. Additionally, I hear he is a good cook.
Chase Lambert - 4
Year: 1
A born and raised Texan, Chase is most known for playing in his cowboy boots. Not really, but it would be cool if it happened. His famous method of marking will leave you feeling dirty in some way, and if you got the throw off then you are doing better than most. While his mark may intimidate you, there is no need to worry because if he is guarding you, it is unlikely you will catch it anyways.
Malik Miller - 38
Year: 2
Malik is probably most famous for being the most premature baby ever born. He was nine months early; he is just that fast. Sometimes mistaken for a slow man running backwards, he has proven tachyons exist and sometimes have really huge mouths. Seriously, when I met the guy, the first thing I thought is "that kid ate honeycombs." (If you don't get it, then sucks for you.) The only time Malik is not moving faster than you could ever hope to catch him is when he jumps at which point he just kinda chills for a couple of seconds ignoring gravity.
Reece Otsuka - 51
Year: 3
What Craig is to pecs, Reece is to shoulders. It is widely believed that due to his ridiculous musculature, he could run faster doing a handstand than when he runs normally. While for some reason he is always injured by the other team, it usually takes him only 3-4 points to say, "It's only a broken wrist," and then he goes in again.
Nate Shoemaker-Trejo - 0
Year: 3
A real party animal, it is a rare occasion when Nate is not talking. Always brimming with happiness, Nate shares his love for the world in many different ways. The most notable being when he breaks out into song. While some may see the world as dark and full of gray, Nate sees the world as a compilation of every Disney movie ever made, and his laughter is infectious. Well, that last part is probably true, 'cause if Nate is laughing, something freaking hilarious happened.
Jacob "Igor" Steinhardt - 11
Year: 4
The mad scientist, Igor is probably best know for saying, "If I was to kill someone, I would do it in a suit." Thus if you ever see him in a suit, you know it is going down. A wily senior with plenty of experience under his belt, Igor will first outthink you. Then just as you think you have him figured out, he will outrun you. Then as you catch up, you realize he is wearing a suit. It is too late. Goodbye, my friend.
Bobby "Ricky Bobby" Weber - 7
Year: 2
This "too-brown-but-still-a-clown" Mexican daredevil has the hair of Justin Bieber with the soul of a muscular iguana. When running on the court, his agility and speed make the internet look slow. Generally not the most serious of beasts, Weber is a not a solitary creature, and often moves in packs. To become a Weber groupie is the highest of honors, surpassed only by becoming his friend. If Bobby dedicated the amount of time to the world as he does to catching the disc, the earth would be cured of hunger and violence, and few would not know the name of the great, Bobby Weber.
Kesavan Yogeswaran - 19
Year: 4
A hopeless romantic, Kes relies upon the wingmanning of Bobby to maintain relationships. Aside from that, on the field the man is a regular Andrew Vogt. Displaying all of the incredible skills of his mentor, Kes is quick, quicker, and quickest, that is just how he rolls. He purposefully looks like an idiot when he runs so that you won't notice that he is burning you.
Cody Rebholz - 3
Year: 4
A 7-foot behemoth, Cody is somtimes known to D low-flying planes. A giant of a man, never challenge Cody to a pancake eating contest, because to him 15 is an "okay start." With the girth of an oak and the size of Goliath, this man won't be taken down by some wimpy stone. Bring a catapult and your A-game, and possibly God will favor you and you will only lose by 5.
Xavier Jackson - 10
Year: 4
Ecstasy, X, and Sky Guy McFly are some of this smooth man's nicknames. His personality is as smooth as Morgan Freeman's voice and he is flyer than the Prince of Bel Aire. He has been known to attract ladies and champagne like a magnet. The nephew of Barack Obama, X rolls at least 10 deep and is never at a loss for honeys. On the ultimate field, he slides right past the defense and will never fail to give an upline dump no matter how hard you try.
Brian Conn - 13
Year: 2
The lady's man on the team, Brian is well known to "make banana bread" with multiple ladies at a time. With a quick wit, a fast wink, and a winning smile, it is suspected that the next Bad Boys of MIT calendar will merely feature him on every page, without even bothering to put in the calendar part.
Michael Morris-Pearce - 45
Year: 4
This man brings the funk to every practice. This bass guitar playing madman has been playing ultimate for a little over a year now and is in it to win it. With the catching skills of Randy Moss and the speed of a Frenchman finding his white flag, you might think Michael's jersey number is Ocho Cinco.