well, sudsy, you *are* some sort of disgusting insectile slug-man, although
I'm
sorry about the Jupiter crack...I mean, I think, look, let's not be
hasty. I know plenty of girls who would be happy to have an ugly, insulting
demon-like creature such asyourself in bed, honest, I mean, they'd
think it was romantic
the way you slobber all over yourself when you're thinking of spiders.
oh, gosh brickman, you really think so?
no, sudsy, I don't, I'm sorry.
just die, you bastard brickman, I fail to understand why I ever bothered
to hook you up with that radio anyway. The way you take some sort of
demented pleasure from the white noise coming from dead air gives me
the chills all up and down my spineless back. Sometimes I vomit in
the
confines of my cubicle beneath the stairway, then Sherman comes and
cleans
up and you know how he complains something awful every time he's required
to do the smallest task.
Well, if you'd stop eating his children and failing to digest them fully
before you vomit them all over the floor he might not mind things so
much.
Besides which his wife has been giving him grief lately over the nasty
infestation they're having in the attic. Some sort of arachnid invasion
from those deformed aliens next door probably.
mmm, spiders, lalalala....
shutup, I'm trying to listen to the radio.
(pan to rod serling in a dark suit.)
Hello, kids, kidettes and other non-goat intelligentsia, this is the
time
in our show....<touches ear> oh wait, something is coming
in over the
spasmatic. Yes. Yes. I see. No, thanks but,
it's my off month. Yeah,
thanks.
Okay, back to the show. oh nevermind. (serling fades out,
leaving a shot
of a peeling expanse of bad flowery wallpaper, ten seconds of that
and then
total fadeout)
Brickman and Sudsy the Neptune Slug. What do we think of when
we think of
that grime that tends to grow in the dark places where you only look
when
your appetite is right on the edge of no return? Yes? um,
well, that's
technically correct, but not quite what I was looking for. No,
no close,
again. No. No. No. Um, no. Yes!
exactly. Brickman and sudsy. Those
two wacky characters that serve to illustrate society's deep-seated
problems
with loneliness, cruelty, pedophelia, drug use, spouse abuse, vampirism,
bestiality, recycling, and environmental issues such as mcdonald's
use of
styrofoam for strangling young male deer! Brick man, that red,
vaguely
oblong box shaped man who reminds us all of our favorite dead pet,
Kiki the
rat (soon to appear in low-rent doll housing with Elongated Blood Stained
Teeth(tm)) and handles a beer bottle like our fourth sacred father
Babe
Ruth. Living in incestuous proximity with his soul brother (but
no blood
relation), Sudsy the Neptune Slug, that dully-mottled shapeless creature
that haunts all our Dreams(tm); Brickman and Sudsy lead an exciting
life
of action and reaction in suburban America. Living the physical
manifestation of post-modern decadence to its fullest, they entertain
us
with their heartbreaking sincerity and their cruel biting wit, all
melded
confusingly with fast-food-oil-inspired satire of nonexistent social
structures and political institutions. Can't you just barely
keep your
mouth closed? I know I can't, but sulfuric acid helps to seal
it off when
I finally manage, I recommend it, after a healthy helping of those
two
wacky guys, Brickman and Sudsy! Let's give them a big hand folks!