Hey FRIENDS,
2001 Campaigns are beginning and I'm running for REELECTION to the position
of being daniel e. mcanulty!
Having held this position for the past SEVEN years, I feel that I'm
by far
the most QUALIFIED candidate for the job. In the past I've done such
things as: CLOTHE myself, practise personal HYGIENE, meet and greet
OTHERS,
find positions and jobs, earn money to buy FOOD and other commodities
and
much much more!
But I don't just intend to maintain the status quo, I have a plan AND
a
vision! In fact, I have new visions ALL THE TIME! I intend to not only
keep up the excellent quality of living that I have enjoyed thus far
but
even to better it with new and diverse experiences including but not
limited to: getting more sleep, finding 'the significant other' (or
several
satisfactory facsimiles), expanding my mind, taking over the world,
starting a rock-band thus becoming rich and famous for making SCREECHY
noises, afterward descending into DRUNKEN oblivion, getting a PET,
learning
how to pronounce the word RURAL without stumbling and ultimately becoming
JADED! All before the NEXT reelection! In addition to these
accomplishments, I promise that I will begin CLEANING my room on a
regular
basis wreaking HAVOC on the micro-ecosystem I have carefully cultivated,
RUINING thousands of tiny pointless lives and giving me great sadistic
PLEASURE.
I encourage you to not believe anything you might have heard about me
in
the PAPERS, as whatever it was could have been nothing but a pack of
malicious lies designed only to put my opposing candidates in a better
light. ALL LIES! I cannot emphasize this enough, so I will say it again:
ALL LIES!
So then remember, the election is coming up soon and you will vote for
ME,
daniel mcanulty, for the position of being daniel e. mcanulty!
Put aside any doubts you might have as to my ability and/or sanity and
cast
your vote for the experienced candidate, vote daniel in '01!
Yours sincerely,
daniel mcanulty