Journal for 2003 September 5
Hitherto I have said nothing of my beloved, Claudia, I have been so caught up in each next day at Olin. Claudia is beautiful, intelligent, and wonderful in every way. We have been in our relationship for 10 months and living together for around 7. There have been many challenges, and more to come, but out love for eachother is stronger than ever.

Claudia is not starting her sophomore year, filled with worries and hopes. She has so many interests, but is scared of the classes for her math major, and, in my opinion, undervalues the classes in others. However, despite fears to the contrary, she is systematically figuring out her schedule, class-by-class.

More importantly, perhaps, are the things she's doing outside of classes. Her first solo meeting with the students in 24.00 in ESG is today, to discuss what it's like to be a bat. Last night, she spent many hours creating an impressive Friday Lunch, of which I sadly get none. The roof of the ESG building is another big thing, of which more should be said later.

As she worked on the lunch, I hung around ESG and fell into some philosophical discussions, some homework help, some corrupting of frosh. It was the kind of ESG night I live for, and every fibre of my being is crying to put myself in a position to have more. Yet now I am doing other things, and I want to give myself the parts of me that they deserve. Everyone at ESG seems to be demanding that I do as I "ought". but I want to pursue new things now. But what community do I have to spend my time outside of Olin? No longer the SCA, or Random, or ESG, or one of my own design. It's time to make my community paideia, but I fear it's too late.

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If you have any questions or comments that you want to email, feel free to contact me, jrising@ mit.edu.