Complex Statements for the Simple-Minded

• Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
• On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
• If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
• The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
• Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
• Prejudiced people are all alike.
• What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
• Those who judge others will burn in Hell!
• Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.
• Evil is not all bad.
• I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
• Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness (or, It's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous).
• There's no such thing as nonexistence.
• Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.
• As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
• He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
• I disagree with unanimity.
• I have my doubts about disbelief.
• Avoid Alliteration. Always.
• Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
• One should never generalize.
• Avoid cliches like the plague.
• Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
• Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
• Profanity sucks.
• I always try to do things in chronological order.
• A Plateau is the highest form of flattery.
• I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
• Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
• Death to all fanatics!
• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you (or, ...then you didn't do it right!)
• If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hands.
• An oral contract isn't worth the paper its written on. -- Sam Goldwyn Don't chew [or eat] with your mouth full.
• It's Deja Vu all over again.: Yogi Berra
• If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.: Vice President Dan Quayle
• I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
• I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
• Rehab is for quitters!
• To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.
• If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.
• The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
• Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
• Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
• Some people type so fast that forget to include
• When all is said and done, much more is said than done
• My identity lies in not knowing who I am
• I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life
• I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid
• Free advice is worth what you paid for it
• Entropy just isn't what it used to be
• I can't define irony; but, I know it when I see it
• I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it
• Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary
• There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't
• "No, officer. I do not wish to give up my right to remain silent!!??"
• Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.

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