From IN%8-NOV-1994 16:53:36.59 Mon Mar 20 09:28:07 1995
From:	IN%"SMS.WBST845@xerox.com"  8-NOV-1994 16:53:36.59
To:	IN%"uther+pagan@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU"
CC:	
Subj:	Chocolate Ritual will be celebrated 11-19-94 at the First Unitarian Church, Roch. NY -- All Welcome!

The Susan B. Anthony Transcendentalist (S'BAT) Covenant of Unitarian
Universalist Pagans (CUUPs) group of Rochester New York will be hosting a
Chocolate Ritual, Saturday November 19, 1994 at 6 p.m. in the Upper Gallery of
the First Unitarian Church.  The church is just south of the exit for Winton
Road on 490 at 220 S. Winton Road.  Call (716) 527-8419 if you need directions.

Everyone is invited to attend the frolicsome fun of this sacred farce!  See the
ritual as we're planning it below:

THE CHOCOLATE RITUAL

Materials required:
On the altar are brown candles, a Tootsie Roll (the great big one- as the
athame),
a large glass with milk in it (the chalice), a creamer of Hershey's Syrup and a
spoon,
a small dish of chocolate sprinkles, a plate of cupcakes, some Yoo-Hoo along
with a goblet, and small dish of chocolate ice cream.

The Celebrants:
Handmaiden (Henceforth known as Swiss Miss), High Priestess (Henceforth known
as Betty Crocker), Page (Henceforth known as Pillsbury Dough Boy), High Priest
(Henceforth known as Mr. Goodbar)

CLEANSE THE SACRED SPACE:
[Pillsbury Dough Boy takes the chocolate sprinkles and sprinkles them on the
ice cream (this is an indoor site afterall)]

Chocolate sprinkles where thou art cast
No calories in thy presence last.
Let no harm adhere to me
And as I will so mote it be!

[Swiss Miss takes the small dish of Hershey's Syrup, spoon and large glass with
milk]

Hershey's Syrup where thou art cast
Turn this milk to chocolate, fast.
Let all good things come unto me,
and make my milk all chocolatey!

CAST THE CIRCLE
[Betty Crocker using a tootsie roll as athame walks around the circle three
times]
[Mr. Goodbar intones the invocation]

In the beginning,
there was the word.
And the word was Chocolate.
And it was good.
		Confections: 1.5 oz., 240 cal.

CALL THE QUARTERS:

[Betty Crocker]
Mousse of the East, Fluffy one!  Great princess of the palace of dessert!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all moochers approaching
from the East.

[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
Fondue of the South, Molten one!  Great prince of the palace decadence!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all diets approaching from
the South.

[Swiss Miss]
Cocoa of the West, Satisfying one!  Great princess of the palace of thirst
quenchers!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all carob approaching from
the West.

[Mr. Goodbar]
Rocky Road of the North, Cold one!  Great prince of the palace of crunchy
comfort food!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all cheap imitations
approaching from the North.

MAIN RITUAL:

[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
Listen to the words of the Mother of Chocolate, who was of old called:
Godiva,  Suzi Q,  Little Debbie,  Dolly Madison,  Fanny Farmer,  Sara Lee, and
by many other names:

[Swiss Miss]
Whenever you have one of those cravings, once in a while and better it be when
your checkbook is full, then shall you assemble in a great public place and
bring offerings of money to the spirit of Me, who is Queen of all Goodies.

In the mall shall you assemble, you who have eaten all of your chocolate and
are hungry for more.  To you I shall bring Good Things for your tongue.  And
you shall be free from depression.  And as a sign that you are truly free, you
shall have chocolate smears on your cheeks, and you shall munch, nosh, snack,
feast, and make yummy noises all in my presence.

For mine is the ecstasy of phenylalanine, and mine is also the joy on earth,
yea, even into high orbit for my law is  "melts in your mouth, not in your
hand".  Keep clean your fingers, carry Wet Ones always, let none keep you from
Me.

For Mine is the secret that opens your mouth, and Mine is the taste that puts a
smile on your lips and comfy padding pounds on your hips.  I am the gracious
Goddess who gives the gift of joy onto the tummies of women and men.

Upon earth, I give knowledge of all things delicious, and beyond death  well, I
can't do much there.  Sorry about that.

I demand only your money in sacrifice, for behold, chocolate is a business, and
you have to pay for those truffles before you eat them.

[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
Hear now the words of the Goodie Goddess, she in the dust of whose feet are the
cheap imitations, whose body graces candy racks and finer stores everywhere:

[Betty Crocker]
I, who am the beauty of chocolate chips, and the satisfying softness of big
bars, the mystery of how they get the filling inside truffles, and fill the
hearts of all but Philistines with desire, call unto thy soul to arise and come
unto Me.

For I am the soul of candy, from Me do all confections spring, and unto Me all
of you shall return, again.... and again... and again.... and again.

Before My smeared face, beloved of women and men, thine innermost divine self
shall be enfolded in the rapture of overdose.  Let My taste be within thy mouth
that rejoices.  For behold, all acts of yumminess and pleasure are My rituals.

Therefore let there be gooeyness and mess, crispness and crackling, big slabs
and bite size pieces, peanut butter and chocolate covered cherries all within
you.

And you who think to seek Me, know that your seeking and yearning shall avail
you not unless you know the Mystery: "We shall sell no chocolate until you pay
for it"

For behold:  I have been with you since you were just a baby, and I am that
which is attained at nearly any shop in the land.   Messed be.

[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
Hear now the words of the Chocolate God, who was of old called:  Milton Snavely
Hershey,  Babe Ruth,  Fudgesicle,  Devil Dog,  Mars,  Willy Wonka and by many
other names:

[Mr. Goodbar]
I am the strength of the candy rack, and the piece that fell on the floor but
looks like it may not have gotten too dirty, and the deepest bitterness of dark
chocolate.

No matter how you try to resist the call of chocolate, I will hunt you out, and
I will become your sacred prey.

I am warmth of hot cocoa in the dead of winter, and the call of the road that
leads you to that really expensive Godiva store downtown.

I give you My creatures, the fire of love of chocolate, the power of jaw
strength to bite off a piece of that frozen Milky Way bar and the shelter of
Haagen Dazs when that big date didn't work out.

You are dear to Me, and I instill in you the power of a piece of chocolate that
you had forgotten you had hidden, and the power of vision and magickal sight
with which you can spot a candy counter a mile away.

By the powers of the half melted bar in the glorious sun, I charge you,by the
darkest depths of the bottom of the cocoa pot and lingering smell of
bittersweet chocolate, I charge you, and by the beauty of a perfectly formed
Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I charge you.

Follow your heart and your instinct, wherever they lead you.  The wealth in
your pocket can buy you treats that a Mayan king would envy.  Take joy in that
first bite of lecithin emulsified cocoa, and in the last satisfying slurp of
Yoo-Hoo.

Yet you must be wary of deceit.  Eat not of that which is called "baking
chocolate", for it is vile and bitter.

Lastly, always remember to leave some chocolate behind you.  Be not greedy, but
let yourself be known as a connoisseur.  Leave a little for someone else.

I am with you always, just over your shoulder, or around the next corner.

I am the Lord of Chocolate, and when you have reached the end of you hoard, I
will never be further away from you than that 7-Eleven on the corner.

I am the spirit of the wild child, the inner child who can never get quite
enough.  If you are a true chocolate lover, then your soul and mine are
intertwined.


CUPCAKES AND YOO-HOO:
[Blessing of the Yoo-Hoo]

[Mr. Goodbar]
Be it known that milk chocolate is not better than dark chocolate

[Betty Crocker]
Nor is dark chocolate better than milk chocolate

[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
For both are better than the falsely named "white chocolate"

[Swiss Miss]
And neither one is carob

[Mr. Goodbar]
As the frosting is to the cupcake

[Betty Crocker]
So the creamy nougat is to the Milky Way bar

[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
And when they are eaten, they are yummy in truth,

[Swiss Miss]
for there is no greater snack in all the world than one made of chocolate.

[blessing of the cupcakes]

[Mr. Goodbar & Pillsbury Dough Boy]
Frosting is keen

[Betty Crocker & Swiss Miss]
And frosting is neat

[Mr. Goodbar, Pillsbury Dough Boy, Betty Crocker & Swiss Miss]
Great Goddess! Let's eat!

[Feasting and Drinking]

DISMISS QUARTERS

[Betty Crocker]
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the East, we thank you for attending our rites and
guarding our circle, and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms, we
say unto you,

[All participants]: "Choooooooc-laaaaate"

[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the South, we thank you for attending our rites and
guarding our circle, and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms, we
say unto you,

[All participants]: "Choooooooc-laaaaate"

[Swiss Miss]
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the West, we thank you for attending our rites and
guarding our circle, and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms, we
say unto you,

[All participants]: "Choooooooc-laaaaate"

[Mr. Goodbar]
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the North, we thank you for attending our rites and
guarding our circle, and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms, we
say unto you,

[All participants]: "Choooooooc-laaaaate"

[Mr. Goodbar:  After all quarters have been dismissed, give a final satisfying
belch at the East]

OPEN CIRCLE
[Pillsbury Dough Boy]
Go now in perfect love, perfect trust, and perfect chocolate

* * * * *
Thanks to Walkingstick for posting the ritual, the annonymous first writer of
the ritual and the rewriting by Lynx, Cerridwen, Raventree, Prune, Uther and
MoonShadow.


From IN%21-NOV-1994 11:00:02.94 Mon Mar 20 09:32:30 1995
From:	IN%"SMS.WBST845@xerox.com" 21-NOV-1994 11:00:02.94
To:	IN%"fmmacgre@acs.ucalgary.ca"
CC:	uther+pagan@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU
Subj:	Chocolate Ritual permission - still looking for original writer and a technical correction

Bridget Stonehearth,

I'm writing to give you permission to use the Chocolate Ritual.  I posted the
version our CUUPs group used (this past Saturday -- It went very well).  I
don't know who the original writer is to give credit there.  We rewrote a few
bits so feel free to continue that tradition and rewrite it to fit your
favorite chocolates (or at least familliar chocolates) in!

I got the following information from someone else on the list about a technical
word in the ritual copy you have:

>The ecstasy of chocolate comes from theobromine (lit. food of the gods),
>NOT phenylaniline.  Unless you are using sugar-free chocolate (yech),
>it is a very, very minor component in the Substance.  Please correct
>before performance!!

Have a great time!
Susan

End of digest Issue 63a
***********************