>  Chinese Torture
> 
> A man had been lost and wandering in the Chinese wilderness for 3
> months.  All he had to eat was what he could forage and was forced to
> sleep wherever he could find meager shelter.
> 
> One day he came upon an old farm house.  In answer to his knock, an
> old Chinese gentleman asked "WHAT DO YOU WANT."  "I have been lost in
> the wilderness for 3 months and have not had a decent meal or nights
> sleep in just as long."  "May I stay the night?"
> 
> The old man agreed under the condition that there be no messing with
> his granddaughter.  "I will cause you no trouble," the man said.
> "That's very good" said the old man, "because if I catch you with my
> granddaughter, you will suffer the three most severe Chinese
> tortures."
> 
> The granddaughter attended the evening meal and the man was awestruck
> by her beauty.  Since he had been alone for so long and she had not
> been with a man in her life, they could hardly keep their eyes off of
> each other during the meal.
> 
> Later that night the man crept into her room and they had a terrific
> time together.  They were careful to be quiet lest they awaken the
> grandfather.  Afterwards, the man returned to his room (on the third
> floor), and thought: "That marvelous experience was worth enduring a
> thousand tortures."  He then fell promptly asleep and had the best
> sleep in three months.
> 
> Upon awakening, he felt an incredible weight on his chest.  He then
> realized there was a 100 pound rock on his chest.  On the rock was a
> sign that read: "1st Chinese Torture - 100 Pound Rock On Chest."  This
> is some lame torture thought the man as he carried it over to the
> window and threw it out.  Then he noticed another sign on the bottom
> of the rock "2nd Chinese torture - Right Testicle Tied To Rock."
> Knowing that it was too late to catch the rock, the man hurled himself
> out of the window after it.  Passing through the window the man saw a
> third sign on the window ledge.  "3rd Chinese torture - Left Testicle
> Tied To Bedpost."