From cupid@MIT.EDU Mon Aug  5 15:08:01 1996
From: cupid@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 31 May 1996 17:41:56 -0400
To: dinner@MIT.EDU
Subject: the birthday dirge


Since so many of you were kind enough to serenade me with this on my
birthday I thought y'all might appreciate the lyrics to the whole thing.
For those who don't know this ... enjoy the lyrics and I'm sure people
like Mark, Rich, Ken, and Jeff will be happy to sing it to you. :)

-Randi

-----------------------------------

               THE SCA HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG
               tune: "Volga Boatmen"

        Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
        Death and gloom and black despair
        People dying everywhere
        Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

 Now you are the age you are            Fear and gloom and darkness but
 Your demise cannot be far              no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

 May the candles on your cake           You're a period cook, its true
 burn like cities in your wake          ask the beetles in the stew

 Burn the Castle and storm the keep     Now your jail-bait days are done
 Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!     let's go out and have some fun!

 May your deeds with sheep and yaks     You must marry very soon
 equal those with sword and axe         baby's due the next full moon

 Your servants steal, your wife's untrue   Were I sitting in your shoes
 Your children plot to murder you          I'd go out and sing the blues

 They stole your gold, your sword, your house    Tho you're turning 29
 They stole your sheep, but not your spouse      age to you is like fine wine

 So you're 29 again                       Now you've lived another year
 don't tell lies to your good friend      age to you is like stale beer

 So another year has passed               Long ago your hair turned grey
 don't look now they're gaining fast!     now it's falling out, they say

 Black Death has just struck your town    It's your birthday never fear
 you yourself feel quite run-down         You'll be dead this time next year

 We brought linen, white as cloud         See the wrinkles on your face
 Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!       Like the pattern of fine lace

 So far death you have bypassed           Indigestion's what you get
 Don't look back it's gaining fast        From the enemies you 'et

 I'm a leper, can't you see           This one lesson you must learn
 Have a birthday kiss from me         FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn

 Burn, then rape by firelight         While you eat your birthday stew
 Add -romance- to life tonight!       We will sack a town for you

 Birthdays come but once a year,      Death will come before the dawn
 Marking time as Death draws near     Now's the time to party on!

 Now you've lived another year,       People starving on the earth,
 And your death is drawing near.      Go ahead, eat your dessert,

 Raise your cup of bitter cheer,      Rape the horses while they sleep,
 Make the barman eat his ear          See the women wail and weep

 Now your hairs are turning grey,     Now you've lived another year,
 Soon they all will fall away.        And your death is drawing near.

 Like the wrinkles in old lace     News that fills our hearts with fear:
 Time is etched upon your face.    They've proved cancer's caused by beer,

 Famine, fear, and fire and flood      When you've reached your age you know
 Can't keep your face out of the mud   That the mind is first to go

                         Happy Birthday!

Live it up!

/johan