Happy Birthday! (The Mongol Birthday Song) ------------------------------------------- Grief and sorrow fill the air, Children dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Plague and famine in the air, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Doom, destruction, and despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Gloom and doom and dark despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Fear and gloom and darkness but No one found out You Know What. Happy Birthday ... May the cities in your wake Burn like candles on your cake. Happy Birthday ... See the women wail and weep. Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Hear the women wail and weep; Kill them all but spare the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Rape the women while they sleep, Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... You're a period cook, 'tis true; Ask the beetles in the stew. Happy Birthday ... Now your jail-bait days are done; Let's go out and have some fun. Happy Birthday ... May your deeds with sword and axe Equal those with sheep and yaks Happy Birthday ... You must marry very soon; Baby's due the next full moon. Happy Birthday ... Your servants steal, your wife's untrue, Your children plot to murder you. Happy Birthday ... They stole your sword, your gold, your house, Took your sheep but not your spouse. Happy Birthday ... Were I sitting in your shoes, I'd go out and sing the blues. Happy Birthday ... Though you're turning 29, Age to you is like fine wine. Happy Birthday ... So you're 29 again; Don't tell lies to your good friend. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, Age to you is like stale beer. Happy Birthday ... So another year has past, Don't look back, they're gaining fast, Happy Birthday ... Long ago your hair turned grey; Now it's falling out, they say. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, And your death is drawing near. Happy Birthday ... Now you've reached the age you are, Your demise cannot be far. Happy Birthday ... The Black Death just struck your town; You yourself feel quite run-down. Happy Birthday ... It's your birthday; never fear: You'll be dead this time next year. Happy Birthday ... We've brought linen, white as cloud; Now we'll sit and sew your shroud. Happy Birthday ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE SCA HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIRGE tune: "Volga Boatmen" Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Doom, destruction and despair People dying everywhere On your Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Now you are the age you are Your demise cannot be far Happy Birthday.... Indigestion's what you get From the enemies you 'et Happy Birthday... See the lines upon your face, Like the pattern of old lace, On your birthday... At your age you ought to learn First you pillage, *then* you burn On your birthday.... Grief and sorrow fill the air, Children dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Plague and famine in the air, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Doom, destruction, and despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Gloom and doom and dark despair, People dying everywhere Happy Birthday ... Fear and gloom and darkness but, No one found out You Know What. Happy Birthday ... May the candles on your cake Burn like cities in your wake Happy Birthday ... See the women wail and weep. Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Hear the women wail and weep; Kill them all but spare the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Rape the women while they sleep, Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Burn the castle and storm the keep Kill the woman but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... You're a period cook, 'tis true; Ask the beetles in the stew. Happy Birthday ... Now your jail-bait days are done; Let's go out and have some fun. Happy Birthday ... May your deeds with sword and axe Equal those with sheep and yaks On your Birthday ... You must marry very soon; Baby's due the next full moon. Happy Birthday ... Your servants steal, your wife's untrue, Your children plot to murder you. Happy Birthday ... They stole your sword, your gold, your house, They stole your sheep but not your spouse. Happy Birthday ... Were I sitting in your shoes, I'd go out and sing the blues. Happy Birthday ... Though you're turning 29, Age to you is like fine wine. Happy Birthday ... So you're 29 again; Don't tell lies to your good friend. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, Age to you is like stale beer. Happy Birthday ... So another year has past, Don't look back, they're gaining fast, Happy Birthday ... Long ago your hair turned grey; Now it's falling out, they say. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, And your death is drawing near. Happy Birthday ... Now you've reached the age you are, Your demise cannot be far. Happy Birthday ... Black Death has just struck your town; You yourself feel quite run-down. Happy Birthday ... It's your birthday; never fear: You'll be dead this time next year. Happy Birthday ... We brought linen, white as cloud; Now we'll sit and sew your shroud. Happy Birthday ... I like children, yes I do baked or broiled or in a stew Happy Birthday (etc). ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Happy Birthday! (The Mongol Birthday Song) ------------------------------------------- Grief and sorrow fill the air, Children dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Plague and famine in the air, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Doom, destruction, and despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Gloom and doom and dark despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Fear and gloom and darkness but No one found out You Know What. Happy Birthday ... May the cities in your wake Burn like candles on your cake. Happy Birthday ... See the women wail and weep. Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Hear the women wail and weep; Kill them all but spare the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Rape the women while they sleep, Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... You're a period cook, 'tis true; Ask the beetles in the stew. Happy Birthday ... Now your jail-bait days are done; Let's go out and have some fun. Happy Birthday ... May your deeds with sword and axe Equal those with sheep and yaks Happy Birthday ... You must marry very soon; Baby's due the next full moon. Happy Birthday ... Your servants steal, your wife's untrue, Your children plot to murder you. Happy Birthday ... They stole your sword, your gold, your house, Took your sheep but not your spouse. Happy Birthday ... Were I sitting in your shoes, I'd go out and sing the blues. Happy Birthday ... Though you're turning 29, Age to you is like fine wine. Happy Birthday ... So you're 29 again; Don't tell lies to your good friend. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, Age to you is like stale beer. Happy Birthday ... So another year has past, Don't look back, they're gaining fast, Happy Birthday ... Long ago your hair turned grey; Now it's falling out, they say. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, And your death is drawing near. Happy Birthday ... Now you've reached the age you are, Your demise cannot be far. Happy Birthday ... Black Death has just struck your town; You yourself feel quite run-down. Happy Birthday ... It's your birthday; never fear: You'll be dead this time next year. Happy Birthday ... We brought linen, white as cloud; Now we'll sit and sew your shroud. Happy Birthday ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Birthday Dirge. Grunt and pound your fist on the table at each (grunt). Happy birthday. (grunt) Happy birthday. (grunt) Gloom and doom and dark despair people dying everywhere on your birthday. (grunt) Happy birthday. (grunt) When you reach the age you are your demise cannot be far >from your birthday. (grunt) Happy birthday. (grunt) May the cities in your wake burn like candles on your cake on your birthday. (grunt) Happy birthday. (grunt) Perform strange sexual acts with goats, camels, sheep, and yaks on your birthday. (grunt) Happy birthday. (grunt) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Happy Birthday! (The Mongol Birthday Song) ------------------------------------------- Grief and sorrow fill the air, Children dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Plague and famine in the air, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Doom, destruction, and despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Gloom and doom and dark despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Fear and gloom and darkness but No one found out You Know What. Happy Birthday ... May the cities in your wake Burn like candles on your cake. Happy Birthday ... See the women wail and weep. Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Hear the women wail and weep; Kill them all but spare the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Rape the women while they sleep, Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... You're a period cook, 'tis true; Ask the beetles in the stew. Happy Birthday ... Now your jail-bait days are done; Let's go out and have some fun. Happy Birthday ... May your deeds with sword and axe Equal those with sheep and yaks Happy Birthday ... You must marry very soon; Baby's due the next full moon. Happy Birthday ... Your servants steal, your wife's untrue, Your children plot to murder you. Happy Birthday ... They stole your sword, your gold, your house, Took your sheep but not your spouse. Happy Birthday ... Were I sitting in your shoes, I'd go out and sing the blues. Happy Birthday ... Though you're turning 29, Age to you is like fine wine. Happy Birthday ... So you're 29 again; Don't tell lies to your good friend. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, Age to you is like stale beer. Happy Birthday ... So another year has past, Don't look back, they're gaining fast, Happy Birthday ... Long ago your hair turned grey; Now it's falling out, they say. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, And your death is drawing near. Happy Birthday ... Now you've reached the age you are, Your demise cannot be far. Happy Birthday ... Black Death has just struck your town; You yourself feel quite run-down. Happy Birthday ... It's your birthday; never fear: You'll be dead this time next year. Happy Birthday ... We brought linen, white as cloud; Now we'll sit and sew your shroud. Happy Birthday ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Happy Birthday! (The Mongol Birthday Song) ------------------------------------------- Grief and sorrow fill the air, Children dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Plague and famine in the air, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Doom, destruction, and despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Gloom and doom and dark despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Fear and gloom and darkness but No one found out You Know What. Happy Birthday ... May the cities in your wake Burn like candles on your cake. Happy Birthday ... See the women wail and weep. Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Hear the women wail and weep; Kill them all but spare the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Rape the women while they sleep, Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... You're a period cook, 'tis true; Ask the beetles in the stew. Happy Birthday ... Now your jail-bait days are done; Let's go out and have some fun. Happy Birthday ... May your deeds with sword and axe Equal those with sheep and yaks Happy Birthday ... You must marry very soon; Baby's due the next full moon. Happy Birthday ... Your servants steal, your wife's untrue, Your children plot to murder you. Happy Birthday ... They stole your sword, your gold, your house, Took your sheep but not your spouse. Happy Birthday ... Were I sitting in your shoes, I'd go out and sing the blues. Happy Birthday ... Though you're turning 29, Age to you is like fine wine. Happy Birthday ... So you're 29 again; Don't tell lies to your good friend. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, Age to you is like stale beer. Happy Birthday ... So another year has past, Don't look back, they're gaining fast, Happy Birthday ... Long ago your hair turned grey; Now it's falling out, they say. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, And your death is drawing near. Happy Birthday ... Now you've reached the age you are, Your demise cannot be far. Happy Birthday ... Black Death has just struck your town; You yourself feel quite run-down. Happy Birthday ... It's your birthday; never fear: You'll be dead this time next year. Happy Birthday ... We brought linen, white as cloud; Now we'll sit and sew your shroud. Happy Birthday ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Happy Birthday! (The Mongol Birthday Song) ------------------------------------------- The tune is "Volga Boatmen". Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Doom and gloom and dark despair People dying everywhere Happy Birthday Happy Birthday When you reach the age you are Your demise can not be far Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Grief and sorrow fill the air, Children dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Plague and famine in the air, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Doom, destruction, and despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Gloom and doom and dark despair, People dying everywhere. Happy Birthday ... Fear and gloom and darkness but No one found out You Know What. Happy Birthday ... May the cities in your wake Burn like candles on your cake. Happy Birthday ... See the women wail and weep. Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Hear the women wail and weep; Kill them all but spare the sheep. Happy Birthday ... Rape the women while they sleep, Kill them all but save the sheep. Happy Birthday ... You're a period cook, 'tis true; Ask the beetles in the stew. Happy Birthday ... Now your jail-bait days are done; Let's go out and have some fun. Happy Birthday ... May your deeds with sword and axe Equal those with sheep and yaks Happy Birthday ... You must marry very soon; Baby's due the next full moon. Happy Birthday ... Your servants steal, your wife's untrue, Your children plot to murder you. Happy Birthday ... They stole your sword, your gold, your house, Took your sheep but not your spouse. Happy Birthday ... Were I sitting in your shoes, I'd go out and sing the blues. Happy Birthday ... Though you're turning 29, Age to you is like fine wine. Happy Birthday ... So you're 29 again; Don't tell lies to your good friend. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, Age to you is like stale beer. Happy Birthday ... So another year has past, Don't look back, they're gaining fast, Happy Birthday ... Long ago your hair turned grey; Now it's falling out, they say. Happy Birthday ... Now you've lived another year, And your death is drawing near. Happy Birthday ... Now you've reached the age you are, Your demise cannot be far. Happy Birthday ... Black Death has just struck your town; You yourself feel quite run-down. Happy Birthday ... It's your birthday; never fear: You'll be dead this time next year. Happy Birthday ... We brought linen, white as cloud; Now we'll sit and sew your shroud. Happy Birthday ... I'm a leper, can't you see Have a birthday kiss from me Happy birthday Happy birthday This one lesson you must learn FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn On your birthday Happy birthday Hear the women wail and weep Kill them all but spare the sheep Happy Birthday... Now you've lived another year Now you know that Death is near But Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Children dying everywhere They say that cancer's caused by beer But Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Famine, fear, fire and flood On your Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Can't keep your face out of the mud On your Birthday ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Happy birth-day. Ugh! Happy birth-day. Ugh! People starving every where People dying in the square Happy birth-day. Ugh! One year closer to death. Happy birth-day. Ugh! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE SCA HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG tune: "Volga Boatmen" Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Death and gloom and black despair People dying everywhere Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Now you are the age you are Fear and gloom and darkness but Your demise cannot be far no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT May the candles on your cake You're a period cook, its true burn like cities in your wake ask the beetles in the stew Burn the Castle and storm the keep Now your jail-bait days are done Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP! let's go out and have some fun! May your deeds with sheep and yaks You must marry very soon equal those with sword and axe baby's due the next full moon Your servants steal, your wife's untrue Were I sitting in your shoes Your children plot to murder you I'd go out and sing the blues They stole your gold, your sword, your house Tho you're turning 29 They stole your sheep, but not your spouse age to you is like fine wine so you're 29 again Now you've lived another year don't tell lies to your good friend age to you is like stale beer So another year has passed Long ago your hair turned grey don't look now they're gaining fast! now it's falling out, they say Black Death has just struck your town It's your birthday never fear you yourself feel quite run-down You'll be dead this time next year We brought linen, white as cloud See the wrinkles on your face Now we'll sit and sew your shroud! Like the pattern of fine lace So far death you have bypassed Indigestion's what you get Don't look back it's gaining fast From the enemies you 'et I'm a leper, can't you see This one lesson you must learn Have a birthday kiss from me FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn Burn, then rape by firelight Add -romance- to life tonight! Happy Birthday!