From atgilman@io.com Fri Oct 31 15:23:10 1997
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Date: Sun, 25 May 1997 20:22:21 -0500 (CDT)
From: Anne T Gilman <atgilman&#64;io.com>
To: jcb&#64;MIT.EDU
Subject: Fw: JOKES: 400 Foreskins for the Pretty One... (fwd)
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 23 May 1997 10:07:57 +0100
From: Roger D Spackman <venk&#64;btinternet.com>
To: Stepeh P Spackman <stephen&#64;acm.org>, Ian Spackman <ian&#64;mail.zynet.co.uk>,
    Chuck Groening <cgroen&#64;cc.umanitoba.ca>,
    Anne T Gilman <atgilman&#64;io.com>
Subject: Fw: JOKES: 400 Foreskins for the Pretty One...



----------
> From: Mark Feit <mfeit&#64;UU.NET>
> To: mfeit+yuks&#64;UU.NET
> Subject: JOKES: 400 Foreskins for the Pretty One...
> Date: Tuesday, May 13, 1997 16:10
> 
> Forwarded-by: "Harry I. Rubin" <harry&#64;redarrow.com>
> Forwarded-by: larson&#64;socrates.berkeley.edu
> Forwarded-by: Gali
> Forwarded-by: Harvey Tannenbaum <protexia&#64;NETMEDIA.NET.IL>
> 
> 		Newsgroups: israel.lists.il-ads
> 
> The Top 15 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
> 
> Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head,
> trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
> 	-- Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
> 
> Find a prostitute and marry her.
> 	-- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)
> 
> Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his
> flock.
> 	-- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
> 
> Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
> 	-- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
> 
> Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one
> and carry her off to be your wife.
> 	-- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
> 
> Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will
> cost you a rib.
> 	-- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
> 
> Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get
> tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for
> the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen
> years of toil for a woman.
> 	-- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
> 
> Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and
> get his daughter for a wife.
> 	-- David (I Samuel 18:27)
> 
> Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll
> definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
> 	-- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
> 
> Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
> 	-- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
> 
> When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I
> have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question
> your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
> 	-- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
> 
> Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons
> though).
> 	-- David (2 Samuel 11)
> 
> Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a
> good idea, it's the law).
> 	-- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
> 
> Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
> 	-- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
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