From abbe@MIT.EDU Fri Apr 14 11:46:05 1995
From: abbe@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 14 Apr 1995 05:17:56 -0400
To: zs@MIT.EDU
Subject: new purity test 
Content-Length: 5015


Abbe's Backrub Purity Test v. 0.1

1) Have you ever wanted a backrub?
2) Have you ever gotten a backrub?
3) Gotten a backrub from your mother?
4) Gotten a backrub past 4:00 AM?
5) Gotten a backrub Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of the same weekend?
6) Gotten a backrub in the last three months?
7) Gotten a backrub in a horizontal position?
8) Gotten a backrub from someone on a first date?
9) Gotten a backrub from someone French? (or from French House)
10) Gotten a backrub that degenerated into ear frenching?
11) Gotten a backrub while dancing?
12) Gotten a backrub lying on a carpet?
13) Gotten a backrub continuously for more than 15 minutes?
14) Gotten a backrub continuously for more than 3 hours?
15) Lied to avoid giving a backrub?
16) Gotten Backrubs from the same person for at least a few weeks steadily?
17) Gotten a backrub below the shoulders?
18) Gone swimming with someone in the hopes of getting a backrub?
19) showered with someone in the hopes of getting a backrub?
20) Had your covered back fondled, or fondled someone's back? 
21) Had your bare back fondled, or fondled someone's bare back?
22) Done 21. in the last three months?
23) Had your shirt removed in order to get a backrub, or
 removed the shirt of an interested party to give them a backrub?
24) Worn enticing lingerie for someone giving you a backrub?
25) had your bare back rubbed by someone you picked up?
26) had your back rubbed and wound up having your nipples sucked 
(or sucking someone else's nipples?)
27) Done 26 in the last 3 months?
28) Gotten a backrub that wound up down your pants?
29) Fondled a woman's vagina in the middle of a backrub?
 (or had your vagina fondled?)
30) done 29 on a first backrub from a particular person?
31) done 29 in the last 3 months?
32) gone through the motions of a backrub in winter clothes?
33) gotten a backrub from someone completely nude?
34) gotten a backrub while completely nude?
35) been completely undressed by someone to get a backrub?
36) told someone you loved them to get a backrub?
37) gotten backrubs from two different people within a 12 hour period?
38) gotten backrubs from two people at the same time?
39) told backrub jokes in mixed company?
40) read pornography about backrubs? 
41) watched backrubs and fantasized about them?
42) seen a live backrub?
43) had an orgasm during a backrub?
44) given yourself a backrub?
45) discussed giving a backrub with an interested party?
46) done 44 in the last 3 months?
47) done 44 with foreign objects?
48) had a dream about getting a backrub?
49) traded cigarrettes for backrubs?
50) traded alcohol for backrubs?
51) traded food for backrubs?
52) passed out due to excessive backrubs?
53) used baby oil during a backrub?
54) used anything harder during a backrub?
55) illegally trafficked in backrub oil?
56) gotten a backrub during a drug party lasting longer than 24 hours
 (Steer Roast counts)
57) needed to open someone's fly in the course of a backrub?
58) fondled a man's bare genitals as thanks for a backrub?
59) participated in fellatio after a backrub?
60) participated in cunnilingus after a backrub?
61) had a backrub that was better than sex?
62) done 61 in the last 3 months?
63) done 61 with someone who'd never given a backrub?
64) gotten a backrub massaging out menstrual cramps?
65) used backrubs as a form of birth control?
66) gotten a backrub in a car?
67) gotten a backrub in a frat or motel room?
68) gotten a backrub with an anal-retentive person?
69) gotten and given a backrub to and from the same person simultaneously?
70) gotten a backrub from someone who didn't let you tell them where it hurt?
71) gotten a backrub standing up?
72) gotten a backrub from the front?
73) gotten a backrub in the shower?
74) gotten a backrub on a first date?
75) gotten a backrub in an altered state?
77) gotten a backrub from more than one person?
78) gotten a backrub from more than 7 people?
79) gotten a backrub from more than one person in the same night?
80) gotten a backrub more than 3 times in the same night
 (not necessarilly with the same person?)
81) participated in a 3-way backrub (all 3 parties giving at some point)
82) used a backrub aid?
83) convinced a person to give you a backrub?
84) made a backrub proposition?
85) gotten a backrub from someone of the same gender?
86) had it be better than sex?
87) given a backrub for personal gain? (drugs, information, etc?)
88) taken or given money for backrubs?
89) been employed in or patronized a  massage parlor?
90) been watched during a backrub by an impartial observer?
91) had scoliosis or other back disease?
92) given an animal a backrub?
93) been diagnosed as pregnant by the med center after a backrub? 
94) ended an unwanted backrub?
95) gotten a legitimate backrub from abbe?
96) allowed something to be squirted on your back?
97) participated in a backrub orgy? (>4 people)
98) gotten a backrub from a married person who is not your spouse?
99) been arrested for crimes involving a backrub?
100) committed a felony involving a backrub?