From dancer@stonedancer.net Tue Mar  9 10:36:30 1999
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 11:46:56 -0500
From: Dancer <dancer&#64;stonedancer.net>
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To: MOTley <motley-morris&#64;MIT.EDU>, Bluestar <bluestar&#64;lists.io.com>
Subject: [Fwd: Fwd: Holiday Humor!]
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>From my dear friend ethan- - I do love the solstice hoidays-  but 
> poking fun at us helps get back to the real feeling- Love H
>=================================================================
> Politically Correct 12 Days of Christmas
> 
> On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
> Significant Other, a consenting adult in a monogamous relationship
> gave to me:
> 
> TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
> 
> ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
> members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for
> in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a
> note),
> 
> TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
> ruling class system leaping,
> 
> NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
> 
> EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
> from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
> 
> SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
> 
> SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
> 
> FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
> incarceration, (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front
> threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds,
> French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native
> habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining
> gift package has been revised.)
> 
> FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
> 
> THREE deconstructionist poets
> 
> TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
> and...
> ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
> 
> Merry Christmas  Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa.  Blessed Yule. Oh,
> heck! Happy Holidays!!!! (unless otherwise prohibited by law) *
> 
> *Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected
> Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous
> call for celebration with suggestion that you have a thoroughly
> adequate day.
> 
> P.S. I remember when I was in college taking the "politically  
> correct" theme to extremes.  Instead of "Secret Santas" we had 
> "Secret Winter Holiday Gift-Giving Persons".  I'm serious...
>