From marc@MIT.EDU Mon Apr  3 16:02:28 1995
From: marc@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 6 Oct 1994 22:26:05 -0400
To: sipb-soc@MIT.EDU
Subject: [daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU : No subject found in mail header]



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[2099]  daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (iggy@MIT.EDU) Consulting_play 10/05/94 12:20 (84 lines)
Subject: No subject found in mail header
From: iggy@MIT.EDU
To: cplay@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 05 Oct 1994 12:20:16 EDT


------- Forwarded Message
Sender: jwl@eagle.mit.edu
To: all-micro@MIT.EDU
From: jwl@MIT.EDU (Joanne Larrabee.  x3-8422. 11-221)
Subject: FW: Sounds familiar?

Submitted  by a Help Line alumnus, Wyatt Webb.

==================================================================

I thought you all would get a kick out of this...  Reminds of CSSC.

     -Wyatt
 ----------

<<Forwards Crashed>>


General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how
to drive.  Imagine if they did ...

 ---

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery
           and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition?  Motor?  Battery?  Engine?  How come I have to
           know all these technical terms just to use my car?"

 ---

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh?  How do I know?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and
           markings from 'E' to 'F'.  Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'.  What does that mean?"
HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
           some more gasoline.  You can install it yourself or pay the
           vendor to install it for you."
Customer: "What?  I paid $12,000 for this car!  Now you tell me that I
           have to keep buying more components?  I want a car that comes
           with everything built in!"

 ---

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars suck!"
HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all
the
           way to the floor.  It worked for a while and then it crashed and
           it won't start now!
HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.  What do you
           expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't
           crash any more!"

 ---

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it
           has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering,
           power brakes, and power door locks."
HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car.  How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person.  I just want to go places in my
car!"


--[2099]--

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