> > > > STUPID MEN JOKES > > ================ > > > > What do you call a man with half a brain? > > Gifted. > > > > What's the difference between government bonds and men? > > Bonds Mature. > > > > What is the difference between a man and a catfish? > > One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a > > fish. > > > > What did God say after creating man? > > I can do better. > > > > Husband: Want a quickie? > > Wife: As opposed to what? > > > > Why do men want to mary virgins? > > They can't stand criticism. > > > > I went to the County Fair. They had one of those "Believe it or > > not?" Shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain. > > > > What do you have whan you have two little balls in your hand? > > A man's undivided attention. > > > > What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? > > 1. No mind. > > 2. No business. > > > > How is a man like a snowstorm? > > Because you don't know when he's coming, how many > > inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay. > > > > Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover? > > He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal. > > > > Why are men like laxatives? > > They irritate the shit out of you. > > > > What do you call an intelligent man in America? > > A tourist. > > > > Why do jocks play on artificial turf? > > To keep them from grazing. > > > > If men got pregnant.... > > abortion would be available in convienience > > stores and drive through windows. > > > > Why do men name their penises? > > Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the > > person who makes all their decisions. > > > > Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, > > caring, and good-looking? > > Because they already have boyfriends. > > > > Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the > > Olympics? > > He had it bronzed. > > > > Why do men like masturbation? > > Its sex with someone they love. > > > > How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? > > Two ways to cross a river. > > > > What is gross stupidity? > > 144 men in one room. > > > > Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to > > put in it? > > Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? > > > > What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette? > > The porcupine has pricks on the outside. > > > > How many men does it take to pop popcorn? > > Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off > > and shake the stove. > > > > What is a man's view of safe sex? > > A padded headboard. > > > > How do men sort their laundry? > > "Fifthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". > > > > Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it. > > > > Why did God create man? > > Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. > > > > Why were men given larger brains than dogs? > > So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. > > > > Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy exclaimed, > > "how sad - a dead bird." The other man looked up and said, > > "where?" > > > > Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? > > To keep the swellin down. > >