# Using the word "butt" in any sentence

> The First Butt Principle (the Transcendence of Butts): Any reference to butts is made without particular butts in mind. Butts defy definition and complete understanding.

> The Second Butt Principle: Every statement can be miraculously transformed into a meaningful statement about butts.

-Jesse Elliott

> You already sit on it, now you can talk with it!

-Stuart Combellack

Your conversation can be more lively, interesting and fun if you use the word "butt" in everything you say. In fact, now there's a way to transform any sentence into one that speaks about your butt. Here's how:

1. Find the predicate. Example:

   The splefty gargles of the winter splargphast were wanching merrily over the undulating carcass.

2. If the predicate is singular, substitute the word "butt" for the predicate noun.

   The splefty gargles of the winter splargphast were wanching merrily over the undulating butt.

3. Now change the article (a, an, or the) to "my."

   The splefty gargles of the winter splargphast were wanching merrily over my undulating butt.

That's all there is to it! Try emphasizing the word "butt" so everyone knows what you're talking about! For more examples, click here.

The wonderful sentence was written by Derek Herrera, warrend@mit.edu.