To: All I/S Staffers

From: I/S Management

Date: December 27, 1999

Subject: Y2K Emergency Procedures

Due to an unfortunate co-incidence of multiple independent factors, 2000 is expected to be a rough year and we here in the I/S department will be the first line of defense. While the so-called millennium bug is receiving most of the attention of the press, other warning signals such as the prophecies of Nostradamus and the book of Revelations should not be ignored. This document outlines the integrated procedures we will be following to deal with some of the primary threats as understood at this time:

  1. Millennium Bug:
  2. Rivers and Seas Boiling:
  3. Dead Rising From the Grave:
  4. Signs of the Apocalypse