But by that time the war had spread to the inworlds, and you had started to realize things were more complicated than they looked. It wasn't clear any more that the Outworlds were the bad guys, and then the Hegemon rose against the Strategos himself, and everything was shades of grey. You weren't sure you wanted to be in the Skyguard any more - on either side - not until you had figured out who ought to win. So you and Twig started doing some of the more under-the-table missions, keeping your eyes open and your mouths closed. You got to know who was who and what was what, who would look the other way and who was going to be able to sniff out your smuggler's hold even with his head underwater.
And then things got worse. Ridena was under attack, and the Strategos had given his ultimatum. You and Twig started flying the evacuation routes - a lot of people wanted to get out, and not all of them were in the official rosters. You were getting people safe, but neither side approved, so you came under a lot of fire. Your plasma lens got cracked, and it looked like you were going to be grounded for the final assault, until an Elite and a couple of strange young women brought you a new one and commandeered the ship for some ``errands.'' Burying a box on the back side of the planet - well, everyone has their own smuggler's holds, but you'd never figured the ground for the best kind.
And then they sent you off with a package for the King of Heidelmere. Getting through the Clarion fleet to the jumpgate was harder than you expected; you had to throw in all your piloting tricks, hiding behind plasma contrails and scooting along in the sensor shadow of larger ships, and then you were caught in the penumbra of an explosion as you hurtled towards the gate. Twig did the best he could getting the drives back under control, but took a lot of bad radiation burns in the process, enough to have killed a human.
And then, you were through, and running for Heidelmere as fast as you could, until you touched down at Evensong Castle, where you heard the King was going. You got Twig outside into the sun and the air, and he rooted - that's what they do, sometimes, when they're badly hurt. You don't think he'll be moving again for a long time. And, really, you don't see why he should. Or why you should. Why should you bother flying, fighting, anything? It's all grey people, killing other grey people. There's nothing bright and beautiful worth fighting for any longer.