The tiny Republic of Transcarpathian Moronia, pieced together out of parts of the ruins of several small European nations by a mysterious group of fanatical terrorists, had launched nuclear weapons at several countries. Zephyrs started flying faster than students between classes: the U.S.~accused Japan of supporting the terrorists, Japan accused Russia, Russia accused Israel, and Israel accused the Arabs. Missiles were being launched everywhere as I punted the instance. I had too much to worry about already--my thesis was due in a couple of months!
Just a few brief moments later I was in the middle of running a crucial program when, suddenly, the power flickered and went out. My screen went dead. Athena had gone down! I screamed and ran outside to see what was going on. Then I saw it.
All of the lights in the Green Building had gone out.
I ran around to the other side, sure that it couldn't be possible, that there had to be a light on somewhere, but all of the lights were out there too! The end of the world was at hand!
Never mind the world; what about my thesis?!
I dragged myself back to my dorm. With the last dregs of the rechargeable batteries I had in my ham radio, I found out that the bombs, falling all over the world, had failed to explode, and that the power had gone out from Maine to New Jersey! Since this meant that I couldn't log in from my room, I quickly got bored and fell asleep.
In the morning the power was back on. I reached for the switch on the computer and noticed the problem set sitting on the desk. It was due at 11 a.m.! I grabbed it and ran headlong down the stairs, straight into the back of the guard standing at the bottom.
Wait a minute.
There wasn't a guard here yesterday. And I'd never seen a gun that big before! He picked me up by the collar and calmly explained to me that MIT was under temporary martial law. ``The tanks are here for your own protection,'' he said.
He told me that I couldn't leave my dorm until the military had established full control, which wouldn't be until the next evening, Friday. ``Just hang out,'' he told me. Hang out? Hang out?! Now how could I turn in my problem set?!
EIT! Because you just can't take this place seriously.