Date: Thu, 20 Oct 1994 13:10:37 EDT
From: jws5@Lehigh.EDU (Justin Solonynka)
Subject: WHO IS NEIL - THE FAQ

*********************
THE "WHO IS NEIL" FAQ
*********************
    This FAQ was begun on 10-20-94 and originated at Lehigh University.
Please send all corrections and updates to jws5@lehigh.edu

    Normally, an FAQ (aka Frequently Asked Questions file) is created for the
purpose of answering numerous questions about a general topic, i.e., Tori
Amos.  However, SO many people have asked the question "Who is Neil" that the
sheer bandwidth wasted on RDT in the past year alone has reached crisis
proportions.  Thus, the "Who is Neil" FAQ has been created, not to answer
numerous questions about a general topic, but to answer a single question
about a single topic, a.k.a, "Neil" mentioned in "Tear in Your Hand" and
"Space Dog".

    This FAQ is in 10 sections:
        I.      Origin and Latin derivation of the name "Neil"
        II.     Songs in which Neil is mentioned
        III.    Theories as to the existence of Neil
        IV.     Neil sightings in the United States
        V.      Neil sightings in Europe
        VI.     Neil sightings in Croatia
        VII.    Neil as a Christ figure
        VIII.   Neil's stint in the Peace Corps
        IX.     Mr. Gaiman Builds his Dream House
        X.      The Zen of Neil

    Due to space restrictions, only sections 1-3 and section 10 will be
reproduced here.

I. ORIGIN AND LATIN DERIVATION OF THE NAME "NEIL"
    The name "Neil" was originally spelled "Kneel", meaning, "To go on one's
knees."  The fact that Tori mentions a person by the name of Neil is most
likely due to her upbringing in a church where she herself was often asked to
kneel.  Tori's obsession with religion is even more evident on her most recent
"God" remix, "Neil, sometimes you just don't come through".
    The Latin derivation of Neil adds another dimension to the discussion.
"Neil" comes from the Latin "Nellos" which means "destination"  (e.g., Ubi
Nellos, meaning, "where is the destination").  Perhaps, by mentioning Neil,
Tori is really saying the adult equivalent of the oft-spoken phrase of a
child, "Are we there yet?"

II. SONGS IN WHICH NEIL IS MENTIONED
    According to the printed lyrics accompanying Amos' CDs, Neil is only
mentioned twice: in "Tear in Your Hand" and "Space Dog".  Somehow, however,
people on RDT have managed to find Neil in no less than 562 songs, including
"Baker Baker", "Song for Neil", "Passion Fruit", and on the yet-to-be-released
"Yes, Anastasia" Limited Edition single, "Yes, Anastasia - the Sandman mix".

III. THEORIES AS TO THE EXISTENCE OF NEIL
    Theories as to who Neil actually is vary widely.  The most often heard
theory is that Neil was the name of a Yiddish leprachaun whom Amos befriended
as a child, as in, "Neil says Chi by the way".  However, less mainstream
theories persist.
    One of the more interesting theories is that Neil is not even real, but is
actually a figment of Amos' imagination planted by space aliens.  Tests of
Amos' susceptibility to alien forces, however, are yet to be determined.

X. THE ZEN OF NEIL
    In examining the texts of Tori Amos, some interesting discoveries about
the lines related to Neil have surfaced.  For example, the line "Where's Neil
when you need him" was originally meant to be understood as, "Where's Neil
when you KNEED him".  This, obviously, shows Amos' passionate desire to take
Neil and smush him into a giant soft loaf of bread.  Thus, "Baker Baker" is in
fact the sequel to "Space Dog", which is the sequel to, "Ode to the Banana
King", with its line "No one knows where Neil's taxi goes".
    "Neil says (*) by the way" is also interesting, as there are various
theories as to what that word denoted by an asterisk really is.  Besides the
"Chi" theory mentioned above, many believe she is in fact saying "Neil says
HIGH by the way", thus leading us to the conclusion that Neil is prepubescent
and that his voice has yet to change.

COMING SOON: THE "WHO IS ERIC" FAQ
             THE "HOW TO SUBSCRIBE AND UNSUBSCRIBE TO RDT" FAQ
             THE "HOW TO KNOW WHEN SOMEONE IS PULLING YOUR LEG" FAQ

                                    Peace,
                                      Justin

                      caution : aria under construction
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