The Engineer's Drinking Song

Thanks to The Chorollaries of MIT

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride To show the royal villagers her fine and pure white hide The most observant man of all, an engineer of course, Was the only one who noticed that Godiva rode a horse Chorus: We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers We can, we can, we can, we can, demolish forty beers Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum all day, and come along with us 'Cause we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us! She said, "I've come a long, long way, and I will go as far With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar The man who took her from her steed and lead her to a beer Was a bleary-eyed surveyor and a drunken engineer Godiva was a lady well-endowed there is no doubt She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about The first man who did make her was a Engineer, of course, But on just one beer an artsie queer had made Godiva's horse A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park The Engineer was working on some research after dark His scientific method was a marvel to observe While his right hand held the figures, his left hand traced the curves Princeton's run by Wellesley, and Wellesley's run by Yale And Yale is run by Vassar, and Vassar's run by tail Harvard's run by stiff pricks, the kind you raise by hand But M.I.T. is run by Engineers, the finest in the land MIT was MIT when Harvard was a pup And MIT will be MIT when Harvard's time is up And any Harvard Son of a Bitch who thinks he's in our class Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss the beaver's ass An MIT surveyor once found the gates of Hell He looked the devil in the eye, and said "You're looking well" The devil looked right back at him, and said "Why visit me - You've been through Hell already; you went to MIT!" That engineer from MIT, he tried to enter heaven Saint Peter told the engineer, "Get back to building 7!" The engineer said he was damned if he was going home, So he climbed atop the roof, and dropped through heaven's dome... The firehose by day and forty beers by night, An engineer may never sleep and still be just as bright. And should you ever ask him how he keeps up his routine, he'll raise his trusty can of JOLT, smile and say "caffeine" Ace towing roams the Cambridge streets each day and every night Towing cars and stowing cars to hide them out of sight They tried to tow Godiva's horse; the Engineers said, "Hey!" Then towed away their towing truck, and now the Ace must pay! Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below, So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst, For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first Caesar set out for Egypt at the age of fifty-three But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free And every night when Julius said good-night at three o'clock A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block! Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed out that way But the Engineers had beat them, by a night and half a day, And though as drunk as ptarmigans, you could still hear them say: The Army and the Navy went out to have some fun They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run But all they found were empties for the Engineers had come And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can Said the artsman, "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man." They drank three drinks, the artsman fell, his face was turning green But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline!" An Engineer once stumbled through the halls of Building 10 That night he'd drunken rum enough to drown a dozen men In fact, the only things there were that kept him on his course Were the boundary conditions and the Coriolis force An MIT computer man got drunk one fateful night He opened up the console and smashed everything in sight When they finally subdued him, the judge he stood before, Said, "Lock him up for twenty years, he's rotten to the core!" Venus was a statue made entirely of stone Without a stitch upon her she was naked as a bone On seeing that she had no clothes, and Engineer discoursed "Why, the damn thing's only concrete, and should be reinforced!" A friend in ol' New Haven called me up the other day. He said he was depressed because he hadn't got an A. I said to him, ``You idiot! Why did you go to Yale? If you had come to MIT you'd still be on Pass/Fail!'' My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear But they don't even speak to me, 'cause I'm an Engineer And should there be a Harvard man a-strolling our Great Court We'll fetch a pail of river gunk and make him drink a quart The water of the River Charles can fix his every flaw And the Engineers all drink it 'cause it makes us what we are Late one night, an engineer was lost in work and toil, He set off to find a darling girl to help discharge his coil. In no time at all he'd warmed her up, her resistance at a low... They fluxed until the morning's light, when their fuses, they did blow. We saved our dough for years to send the kid to MIT Although we knew it was a place of wild depravity But now we know our kid is safe and we should have no fear He's never even heard of Sex cause he's an engineer BAD TASTE: ^^^ ^^^^^ My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole My uncle plays with little girls, my Auntie raped a steer But they don't even speak to me, 'cause I'm an Engineer Fornication, Copulation, Penetration, Fuck Rim job, reem job, nose job, blow job, cunnilingus, Suck Eating beaver, dipping wick, taking it up the rear; these words don't mean a thing to me cause I'm an engineer I am a whore from Radcliffe and I fuck for fifty cents I'll lay my ass upon the grass, my pants upon the fence I'll let ou rub my belly and, on sundays fuck for free. But get off of me you son of a B, if you're from MIT! motion, friction, stress and force I've heard that sex with Chuckie Vest is really quite a treat He walks around in lingirie and tickles becky's feet I know my sex life needs a lift, but easy as he may be I'd rather do the beaver than the king of MIT! I've heard that sex with Becky Vest is really quite a treat Se walks around in leather and she plays with chuckie's feet I know my sex life needs a lift, but easy as she may be I'd rather do the beaver than the queen of MIT!

return home