Lodz, 20 July 1930

My devoted and beloved brother, as well as nephew, and niece,

Truly, my writing to you may perhaps be quite unnecessary.  It
seems to me that if I took a picture, a photograph, and sent it
to you, you would, my devoted one, be able to read everything
from my face.  Am I really capable of relating to you with my
pen everything that I have lived through in these recent days? 
No, and again, no.  I tell you, Sol, that a person is not made
of flesh and blood, but of steel and iron.  I would never in my
life have believed that a person could endure as much trouble
and suffering as I was called upon to endure during the recent
past.  And, in spite of it all, I remained alive...

I would prefer, my devoted one, not to write to you, and I would
prefer not to cause you any pain because you you don't deserve
my causing you pain.  But what can I do when I feel so alone
that I really have no one to whom I can unburden myself with a
single word, except you, my devoted and beloved one?  And if I
were not able to unburden myself occasionally of what presses
and oppresses me, it's possible that, chas v'cholilah, I would
choke...

This is the first time that I have made you wait three months
for a letter.  During the intermediate days of Passover, I wrote
you a letter from Lodz, admittedly a tearful letter, in which I
pictured for you the sort of situation in which my Balcia found
herself and that the doctors gave us no hope...  Yes, devoted
Sol, I  had to be very strong merely to observe the nature of
the punishment that was visited on my child...  She ailed for a
whole year, was in the hospital three times, completely
destroyed me and my household (economically) so that it will be
a long time until I am able to recover.  Until the last minute,
we continued to think that we would succeed in prevailing upon
the Almighty Creator to permit our daughter to remain alive... 
However, nothing helped, not our praying, not our tears. 
Rather, on May 5, our 18-year-old daughter died in the hospital
so that we were not even deemed worthy of being with her when
her soul departed.  

Now, she has left us weary and broken, destroyed and forsaken. 
A horrible loneliness now reigns in our house, and when I glance
around and see that my child is nowhere to be found...I do not
wish such a thing on my worst enemy in the world, to raise a
child to the age of eighteen years and, instead of having
pleasure from her, to accompany her to the cemetery...

I know, devoted Sol, that you will console me, but is there a
person to be found anywhere in the world who would be able to
console us?  Does anyone know how great is the wound to my
heart?  And nevertheless, devoted Sol, I recall that I haven't
written you a letter for three months.  So I pour out my bitter
heart to you today as I would for a real brother and, reading
this letter, you will certainly think, "Master of the Universe,
why have you afflicted my uncle and plagued him and tormented
him without any limit and without any respite?..."  How much
pain can a helpless person such as I endure?  And, above all, my
devoted one, is that I don't know when my troubles will end.

At present, things are very bad.  I didn't go back to Opoczno
because there was no reason to do so.  I am in Lodz for now.  I
work only three days a week in the same dye factory where I
worked a year ago.  In any event, devoted Sol, things are not in
good shape.  I am left naked and without substance.  I owe a
year's rent.  I owe more than $100 for hospital care which my
Balcia suffered through.  And my dear child, Rivkele, is also
not too well, so I had to send her away to Kinsk for fresh air
at a cousin of Malke's.  In a word, devoted Sol, it hasn't been
good, and it isn't good.  I don't see any escape during my life
in order that my situation might ever improve.  

My brother-in-law, Eliezer, was here two weeks ago and really
wanted me to go back to Opoczno with him in the hope that I
might be able to do some business there.  But how can I go
anywhere to do business when I don't have ten cents in my
pocket?  And I don't want to take a risk with my
brother-in-law's money because I am not, chas v'cholilah, such a
lucky person.  So, devoted Sol, suggest some sort of solution. 
Perhaps you can think of something there to ease the need of
your uncle because I no longer have the strength to endure it. 
I would like to work myself up to some sort of small store or a
small stand to sell coal.  But how can I achieve this when I
don't have a cent of my own and and beyond that am deeply in
debt...?

I know, fine and devoted Sol, that reading my letter you will
think to yourself, "I don't know why this uncle has latched on
to me and won't let me rest."  And perhaps you will think there,
"A year ago, my wife and I even offered to help my uncle with
$300 toward a business that was supposed to be a partnership
with Uncle Lazer in Opoczno."  However, since I determined that
it's not practical and that it's not a sure thing, I myself
wrote to you that the whole thing is premature and myself
withdrew my arrangements with you.  This itself, devoted Sol,
should convince you that your uncle is not a liar and not a
"taker" who wants, chas v'cholilah, to squeeze money out of
anyone he can for useless causes.  

Surely, I would like to help myself, but the problem is that I
can't.  I am powerless and ruined, completely broken down and
vanquished.  And now I appeal to you as a brother and as a
friend for advice as to what I should begin to do after the
terrible calamity that befell us since it's impossible for me to
be able to make a living from my job because, today, during the
season, there are only three days of work (per week).  Two
months from now, there won't be any work at all because in a dye
factory there is work only in summer, not in winter.

So, nothing more of importance.  Heartfelt regards to you and
your wife and your beloved only son.  Write me about your
health, whether you were somewhere to take baths and whether
there has been an improvement in your back.  And what's
happening with business?  How are things in general?  How are
Ruchele, Bryndl and family?  What's new with your father, and
how are your in-laws?  Are all of you well?  We send regards to
all of you, without exception, and my wife and Rifkele and
Joseph send heartfelt regards to you, and we look forward to
sharing better news with you than we now do.  Aunt Estherl and
Uncle Lazer also send regards to you from Opoczno.  The whole
family sends heartfelt regards to you.  Please (send) a long
letter about everyone and everything.  Don't delay in answering.
 With much respect,

		Your brother, as well as uncle, 

		Wolf Lewkowicz


All material Copyright 1995 by Marshall L. Zissman and Sol J. Zissman.