Lodz, 17 April 1930

My devoted and beloved brother, as well as nephew,

I am sitting now and thinking, "What should I, after all, write
to my only devoted brother?"  I believe that my silence in
itself is the best indication for you that things are not going
too well for your uncle...  However, how can I remain
unresponsive to my closest and best friend in the world???  I
have always complained to you, unburdened myself, and I was
always accustomed to finding a consoling word in your answers. 
However, recently, devoted Shloyme, I believe that there is no
longer anyone in the world who is able to console me, to ease my
pain.  This whole time, devoted Sol, I fought a battle with
myself because I did not want to portray to you my situation
here in Poland.  However, unfortunately, my measure is
overflowing...  

As you already know, you are aware of the sort of winter I went
through and that I was occupied with three invalids, that is to
say Aunt Malke was sick, Aunt Esther had an operation and my
Balcia was gravely ill.  Well, Aunt Malke, thank G-d, is better
although not fully recovered; however, she is not in bed.  The
trouble cured her...  Further, Aunt Esther has been home for
three weeks.  She signed herself out of the hospital two weeks
before Passover, and she receives new bandages in Opoczno.  She
was in the hospital here in Opoczno for seven weeks.  The
operation was successful.  She had an abscess on her side.  It
was no small matter, devoted Sol, to stand up to my sister's
illness.  There was no lack of fright to bear up under it
because the doctors were not able to determine what it was
during the period when the pain was so great.  One said
"cancer."  A second said "a tumor."  A third said "a female
illness."  In short, they all knew nothing...  It turned out
that there was an abscess on her side and she had to be operated
on.  Thank G-d, it only cost money.  My sister's illness cost
Uncle Lazer $300.  She still feels weak, but she is out of
danger, thank G-d.  

I was in Opoczno until the eve of Passover, and I came to Lodz
on the eve of Passover, although recently I have been in Lodz
every two weeks because my Balcia is, may G-d forbid it, so
gravely ill that they called me to her side at the hospital
every two weeks.  Recognizing that she is no better and that the
doctors give us no hope and also because they didn't want her in
the hospital any longer since she was there for the second time,
the first time for four weeks and the second time for twelve
weeks, I decided to take her home.  However, devoted Sol, at
home I realized for the first time how severely ill my Balcia
is.  I believe that I once wrote to you what her illness is. 
The principal thing is that she cannot eat.  She vomits
everything that she swallows and her legs are completely
paralyzed.  She can't even sit up.  She has to be fed a spoonful
of milk, like a two-month old child.  She has been ill, may G-d
forbid it, for almost a year.  The doctors say that it is
consumption.  We are out of our minds.  We feel so helpless and
impotent that we really don't know what to do.  I feel anguish,
a heartache, after all, when I recall what is involved in
raising an offspring to nineteen years of age.  

Believe me, Sol, if you looked at your uncle now, you would see
how quickly I turned gray during this last winter.  People are
amazed and are immediately able to discern from my appearance
that I must have suffered and borne pain recently, and Aunt
Malke's strength is exhausted.  It's impossible for her to take
care of such a sick person day and night.  But there's no
alternative.  We feel so lonely in Lodz.  No one ever comes up
to visit us, no one in the family, no friend, no neighbor, just
as if we were converts, may G-d forbid...  I ask myself why we
deserve this.  Perhaps it's a result of my poverty or just my
luck.  

I must mention, devoted Sol, that personally I always observed
the good deed of visiting the sick.  There has never been a sick
person among my family, friends and neighbors who has not been
tended by me.  And, today, I recognize what my situation is.  I
don't, chas v'cholilah, blame anyone, and wish the best for
everyone.  I only blame my fate and ask myself, "How long?  How
long will I be required to suffer like this?  Isn't what's going
on in Poland enough, where the crisis has lasted for more than
three years already, where people are dying of hunger?"  Do I
really have to write you about such things, my devoted one? 
Don't you read a newspaper?  Aren't you aware of everything?  I
just don't want to make you sad by writing about everything
because, as it is, you fulfill your obligation to me, beyond
your capacity.  

Therefore, my devoted and dear brother, I deferred writing to
you because I didn't have any good news to impart to you, and I
didn't want to send you any bad news.  However, recently so much
material has really piled up that I really have no one to whom I
can unburden myself with a word except for you, my devoted
brother.  The world is closing in on me, and I can't find a
place for myself.  I don't know what to do after Passover.  I
was in Opoczno up to Passover and earned $2.50 a week.  I sent
the money home, and I didn't spend anything in Opoczno because I
didn't need anything for myself.  However, the money I sent home
was barely enough to pay for two days.  The rest they bought on
credit, went without food, wore torn clothing, etc.  Now Aunt
Malke insists that, as it is, there's no benefit from the $2.50
from Opoczno because it doesn't pay for even the food.  Then,
how about money for rent, school, light, heat?  And how about
what it costs for doctors, may G-d forbid?  She insists that she
won't let me go to Opoczno and leave her with such a seriously
ill person without any means of living and existing.  She says
that I should go out and look for some work here.  It's easy to
say, "Go look for work."  Nevertheless, I will try to find work
and am more than certain that I won't find it because younger
and stronger workers than I are constantly looking.  And do you
know what they find?  Death...                                  

I am really all mixed up, and don't know what to do because in
another two days Passover will be over.  I don't like to rely on
miracles and have no prospects of coming across any income. 
Furthermore, my head is dizzied by my Balcia so that I am not
free day or night.  Perhaps you, my devoted one, can advise me
what to do.  Should I return to Opoczno to work there under the
most difficult of circumstances, or should I remain here and go
out and look for work?

I don't receive any letters from my wife's family, or better
said, I don't write to them and don't receive any response.  In
fact, Aunt Malke was recently required to correspond with them. 
The result was that Shia sent $10, Berish $10, and the in-laws
$5.  The entire $25 was barely enough for three doctors whom
Aunt called in the last days of the holiday, thinking that they
would accomplish something.  However, I don't see that they've
accomplished anything.  The illness hasn't improved by a hair's
breadth.  May G-d be merciful and may help come from heaven and
(bring) a complete healing for my child.

So, no more news.  Heartfelt regards to you and your dear,
devoted wife and dear only son from me, from Aunt, from Balcia,
Rifkele and Joseph.  I also send heartfelt regards to my dear
and precious Ruchele.  May G-d reward her for her good
heartedness.  May she never find herself in need.  Regards to
Bryndl, her husband and son.  Regards to Rifchele, your in-laws,
father, family, et al.  With respect,

		Your uncle,

		Wolf Lewkowicz


All material Copyright 1995 by Marshall L. Zissman and Sol J. Zissman.