The People's Choice Cuts: SHAM's Haiku


Millions starve in Chad.
U.S. sends massive SPAM aid.
Millions starve in Chad.


A half-eaten slice.
Ants swarm the cold, greasy plate.
A suicide note.


CNN: Canned News
Network. Spamming the globe with
Processed, packaged news.


The ceiling fan turns.
The loaf sweats ominously.
Time is running out.


June Cleaver, flummoxed,
Burns the SPAM roast. Wally says,
"Leave it to Beaver."

SPAM and Pam in pan:
"Meat" frying in "cooking oil."
Metaphor for sex.


I sent her ninety
SPAM haiku to show my love.
She sent me a shrink.

If you cut open
A SPAM can with a jigsaw
The blade will smell weird.

Post-SPAM catharsis:
Peptic acid and pink chunks.
Floor-mount Pollock piece.


Tropical SPAM night.
Suckling loaf roasting on spit,
Fake palm trees askew.

A prostitute leans
From a rust-stained balcony
Spooning from a can.


Childhood railroad game:
Place unopened can on rail.
"POP" goes the pork parts.

What's really in SPAM?
Biologists say it's a
Can of nematodes.

Gregor Spamsa woke.
In horror he sees that he's
Now a pink pork cube.

Night kitchen cupboard.
Roach scuttles around SPAM can.
Cutting steak in dream.


Winter trailer home:
Bills unpaid--no heat inside.
Raw SPAM for dinner.


At the smell of SPAM,
Even bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.

Next-door barbecue.
Smell of T-bones waft over.
Eat SPAM with closed eyes.

Thanks again to Phil Erickson for writing the vote tallying cgi script, and to Alec Proudfoot ( for hosting the ballot box.

John Nagamichi Cho, a.k.a. The SHAM / SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.