The People's Choice Cuts: 3001-4000


Like a new piglet
Slick with slime, SPAM emerges
Making sucking sounds.
--John Mitchell


SPAM: the perfect food
For people who study Zen--
Meat, and yet not meat.
--Francis Heaney,


I sing little songs
To help the SPAM stay cheerful
Until I fry it.
--Francis Heaney,


Leaves wither and fall,
Snow descends, then the spring thaw--
The SPAM is still fresh.
--Francis Heaney,


SPAM, too, needs a wife.
What consort for my Pork Prince?
Ah! The Velveeta!
--John Mitchell

Silken pig tofu
The color of spanked buttocks
Blushing at my knife

--John Mitchell


Father pig to son:
"One day, all yours will be this,"
pointing to SPAM tin.
--Rob Mellor,


Man wearing white shirt
Drops meat, causing greasy stain;
Cries, "Out, out, SPAM dot!"
--Francis Heaney,

Put SPAM in the tank.
Turns the toilet water pink.
2000 flushes!

--Bob Roberds,


In mud you frolicked
Till they cut, cleaned and canned you.
How now, thou ground sow?
--John Mitchell

Bulimics love it:
Easy down, easy up, and
a nice storage can.


Attach electrodes
To the SPAM, jolt it, shock it--
Still it will not oink.
--Francis Heaney,


Try new, improved SPAM!
Just like the old SPAM, except
You can't open it.
--Francis Heaney,


Indian looks down
on Hormel plant. A single
tear runs down his face.
--Bob Roberds,

Slaughterhouse product
The screams of a thousand pigs
Silent within you

--John Mitchell


You leave the table
So offended by my meal.
Come back, little fly!
--John Mitchell


A business dinner.
Unknowing wife serves up SPAM.
The contract is lost.
--Steve Sapovits,

Bhagavad Gita:
"Now I am become SPAM, the
destroyer of meals."

--Bob Roberds,

Black cat drags about
his pink, purloined bite of SPAM
like an extra tongue.

--Meredith Merritt


Dr. Frankenstein
used SPAM for brains and made the
first politician.

Thanks again to the anonymous panelists for helping me select among 1000 haiku, and to Phil Erickson for writing the vote tallying cgi script.

John Nagamichi Cho, a.k.a. The SHAM / SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.

Last modified: Thu Mar 20 17:03:40 GMT-0400 1997