SPAM Haiku 7901-8000

Move backwards to Numbers 7801-7900.


7901.
SPAM, taken for sponge...
Used it to wash the dishes.
Now, nothing to eat!
--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7902.
SPAM ingredients:
Artificial dead pig parts.
Yes, ARTIFICIAL.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7903.
SPAM reproducing.
It ejects many green blobs
which grow into, umm...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7904.
SPAM has bad traction.
Once I lined my tires with it.
Skidded off the road.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7905.
I like SPAM damn it!
Say what you will but it's great
with slice of cheese, bread.

--Lane, lpetersn@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu

7906.
Would SPAM be the same
If its name were different?
"Crap Loaf In Phlegm Sauce"?

--Lane, lpetersn@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu

7907.
Oh Little Blue Tin
I Turn Your Key Slowly, My
Pork Runneth Over

--Kevin Kocher

7908.
PEOPLE TAKE COCAINE
TO SUPPRESS THEIR APPETITE.
EAT SPAM. IT'S CHEAPER.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demo.co.uk

7909.
OXYMORONIC:
WORDS WHICH CONTRADICT THEMSELVES.
EXAMPLE: "EAT SPAM"

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demo.co.uk

7910.
THE "S" PLAN DIET--
EAT ONE PART FOOD, ONE PART SPAM.
QUITE FRANKLY, YOU'LL STARVE.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7911.
IS SPAM A LONE BEAST?
I BELIEVE THAT CORNED BEEF IS
A DISTANT COUSIN.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7912.
HAVE WE BEEN HOODWINKED?
IS SPAM A MEATY FLAVORED
CUBE OF COLD JELL-O?

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7913.
SCULPTOR HENRY MOORE
FIRST PRACTICED MAKING STATUES
USING BLOCKS OF SPAM

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7914.
PEOPLE WALK PAST ME
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" THEY ASK.
"SPAMKU!" THEY LOOK BLANK.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7915.
TONY BLAIR PROMISED
TO OUTLAW THE SALE OF SPAM.
NOW HE'S THE P.M.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7916.
IF YOU LOSE YOUR WAY
WHEN AT THE SUPERMARKET
USE SPAM (ANAG. MAPS)

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7917.
Manned spacecraft on Mars
Pink SPAM chunks hit red planet
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7918.
SPAM supports new life
Pink SPAM chunks hit red planet
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7919.
SPAM supports new life
An experiment gone mad
Starts evolution

--MSB

7920.
Blue and white bodies
With the DNA of SPAM
And one busy hand

--MSB

7921.
Planet overrun
Beings who use SPAM for sex
Monkey Spanking Boys

--MSB

7922.
He fed upon SPAM
For each meal he ate each day
Outhouse resident

--Wild T.

7923.
As the roses bloom
As the birds sing in the trees
SPAM is happiness

--Wild T.

7924.
Nobody loves me
I want to eat lots of SPAM
Thoughts of suicide

--Wild T.

7925.
"Hey Butthead!" "Uuuuh, what?"
"SPAM sucks!" "Give it to Stewart."
"Heh heh uh huh huh......."

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7926.
SPAM and coffee. Whipped
together at a high speed.
SPiced latté is served.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7927.
SPiced latté is quite
tasty. The thick pink greasy
foam does it for me.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7928.
Some say SPiced latté
looks like vomit. No--that's chunk
style. I like mine smooth.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7929.
WOULD THE BIG BAD WOLF
HAVE HUFFED AND PUFFED QUITE SO HARD
FOR THREE TINS OF SPAM?

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7930.
THE STAGE DIRECTOR
OF A PLAY FEATURING SPAM
CRIES "STOP HAMMING IT!"

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7931.
MUSLIMS HAVE IT RIGHT.
THEY SAY THAT PORK IS UNCLEAN,
AND THAT INCLUDES SPAM.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7932.
Mass of jellied meat
Watch it wiggle in dog bowl
Rover looks away

--Anonymous

7933.
Monkey Spanking Boy
It's his pro wrestling debut
As the SPAMmaster

--MSB

7934.
Our Hormel hero
In his blue, white, and pink tights
Takes on Hulk Hogan

--MSB

7935.
The champ slips on gel
Gets caught for finishing move
The "Top Rope SPAM Slam"

--MSB

7936.
Why is SPAM reviled?
A bad past experience?
Pink meat's not for you?

--jojo

7937.
The referee rules
"SPAM is a foreign object.
You're disqualified!!!"

--MSB

7938.
SPAM covers the ring
Banned from the sport--no belt for
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7939.
Notice the label.
The circle "u" is missing.
It is not kosher.

--jojo

7940.
Pork delicacy.
Snout, ears, tail, feet (and no hoofs).
How cleverly done.

--jojo

7941.
Did Lynard Skinnard
Sing "Ooh, that smell" about SPAM?
We may never know

--WRKSOFFART

7942.
You open the can.
You pull the tab. A sharp edge.
Too late. Dress the wound.

--jojo

7943.
Need deft maneuver
How to get it out without
Damaging its sides

--jojo

7944.
I study the meat.
Enigma variations.
Any way it's cut.

--jojo

7945.
No, I am not SPAM
People say I look the part
Hormel you bastard

--John "I know the way" Geeko

7946.
SPAM is icky green
It sits here in my basement
SPAM my only friend

--Captain Geeko

7947.
Monolithic lump
Resplendent I pray daily
Spamly nirvana

--For Habib Lopes

7948.
Phospholipid hell
Lump of deadly chemicals
Yummy in tummy

--Captain Geeko

7949.
SPAM a lot like air
You have to have it or else
SPAM a lot like air

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7950.
SPAM, why is it here
It makes me SICK all the time
Why'd they invent SPAM

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

7951.
Please Answer Me SPAM
I'm getting tired of waiting
Ohh God HELP ME now

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7952.
Killing pigs is bad
Also killing cows are bad
But they sure taste good

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7953.
When you eat some SPAM
You are eating some gross stuff
And then you will die

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

7954.
Today I smoked weed
DAMN that DAMN SPAM and get high
Why SPAM why DAMN YOU!

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7955.
My friend smoked some SPAM
Why I wonder in this life
Now he's messed up bad

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7956.
spam you suck my cock
while i'm jacking off at night
and you swallow too!!!

--abe, felucero@nmsu.edu

7957.
I saw the DAMN moon
I saw the stars, and my dog
He kicked my SPAM ASS!!!!

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7958.
SPAM you are the shit
WHEN I AM SUCKING YOUR TIT
Let me eat the shit!!!

--abe, felucero

7959.
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU FUCK ME!
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

7960.
Ohh say can you SPAM
By the dawn's early light yeah
I wake up in pain

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7961.
In a can it comes
Into my stomach it goes
Soon the toilet flows

--WVF

7962.
I possess the key
To your tin chastity belt.
Open, breathe, glisten.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@netcom.com

7963.
Let it all hang out.
Slip, ooze, raspberry, kerplop.
I hear SPAM talking.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@netcom.com

7964.
O SPAMI vitae
Gloria in excelsis.
Volup labere.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@netcom.com

7965.
If SPAM tin opens
But no one's there to hear it,
Does it make a sound?

--Peter Berman

7966.
The Beatles sang a-
bout love and such. But I say:
SPAM will heal the world.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7967.
The demon inside
me just wants to get out. In-
stead, I feed it SPAM.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7968.
And the sage old man
knowingly said, SPAM is life.
The rest is real pork.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7969.
I ran for the car
and all I got was a Spammed-
up CD player

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7970.
In comparison
to football, playstation SPAM
is way, way more fun.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7971.
SPAM on a sandwich
With a thick slice of tofu
Do they cancel out?

--phil, fill@ix.netcom.com

7972.
Mystical pink meat
Thy innards have been used well
Sweet and divine swine

--Steve Cole, colestev@pilot.msu.edu

7973.
On the Seventh Day
After resting, God made SPAM.
Cruel Almighty prank.

--Tim Sniffen, tim_sniffen@jellyvision.com

7974.
Julia Child's bane
Marth Stewart screames in pain
And SPAM is to blame!

--Lamoille County 40oz Club, vt1phish@together.net

7975.
Trailer park trash meat
Arteriosclerosis
Keys on chains, dog not

--Anonymous

7976.
My large purple meat
Spreading your smooth, pink, sweetness
SPAM, you are my queen

--Anonymous

7977.
SPAM, that squishy meat
Like Alpo with more jelly
Yeah, SPAM me, baby!

--Anonymous

7978.
Of periodic
SPAM-b-um, new element
Fatty gel you love

--Anonymous

7979.
Oh yeah, SPAM by me
When you are very hungry
Gelatinous ooze

--Anonymous

7980.
Writing SPAM poems
It keeps us awake at night
I need a hobby

--Anonymous

7981.
Shalt thou share mine love?
Or shalt thou knowest mine pain?
SPAM, meat of mine life.

--Anonymous

7982.
Pink meat is a treat
Grilled SPAM sure cannot be beat
Give me more to eat

--Anonymous

7983.
Broken barbecue
Vegetarians say "pew"
Cook that shit outside!

--Anonymous

7984.
Meat, nutrition void
My taste buds with SPAM I toyed
Tummy now annoyed

--Anonymous

7985.
Creation of SPAM
Pigs fall one by one into
Domino shaped cans

--Anonymous

7986.
Not quite what you seem
With preservatives you teem
My forbidden dreams

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7987.
It's a type of wurst
Summer of my swine gelled kampf
Sprechen sie das SPAM?

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7988.
It's SPAM Hawaiian!
Snot out of a volcano
Served with pineapple

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7989.
Cheeks of SPAM are like
Virgin's inexperience
No satisfaction

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7990.
Oft, as the sun sets
I see a pink, dreamy sky
Now I think of SPAM

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7991.
Spamos Rancheros
Eggs 'n' SPAM au in a pan
Run away, away!

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7992.
Lick your chops, wallow
SPAM beckons, the pink abyss
Indulge, wiggle, burp!

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7993.
Eeyore likes SPAM cold
Tigger likes it barbecued
"Not at all" says Pooh!

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7994.
Welfare man's delight
He devours it every night
Poor son of a bitch

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7995.
SPAM or a bullet?
I will see you in hell first
Mutsy shoots Rizzo

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7996.
SPAM is for dinner
Toilet bound on the morron
Paper burns on ass

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7997.
Tabasco soaked, charred
Pulls sunshine out of your ass
Cajun blackened SPAM

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7998.
you are what you eat.
food for thought for one who is
contemplating spam.

--kevin, the mathineer, kpk@Storz.Com

7999.
SPAM is good to me
I love you SPAM I love you
SPAM let's fuck tonight!!!!

--Maurenem me la CHUPA, maurenem@hotmail.com

8000.
Sweet food of the Gods.
Pink colored; You speak to me...
"Bathe in my pink flesh."

--Steve Cole, colestev@pilot.msu.edu


Move forwards to Numbers 8001-8100.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.