SPAM Haiku 4601-4700

Move backwards to Numbers 4501-4600.


4601.
After months away
from Spamku, I've returned--but
I could quit again.
--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4602.
All those meetings of
SPAMholics Anonymous
helped me find my way.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4603.
I've learned so much from
months of SPAM sobriety--
feel good about self

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4604.
Should call my "sponsor,"
I guess, since I've been tempted.
But what does HE know?

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4605.
Gods--The Hindus list
330 million.
But still SPAM exists.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4606.
A newsgroup from hell
is alt.binaries.pictures.
erotica.SPAM.

--Anonymous

4607.
I used to love SPAM
But now abstain, since slicing
My member with can.

--Kevin Lockett and David Clark

4608.
Time for a luau
SPAM is in Hawaiian hands
Roast SPAM on a spit

--heidi e.

4609.
My favorite meal
Plunged to the pit of despair.
YOU'RE ALL PSYCHO-SPAM!

--Traci Towery, ttowery@duke.com

4610.
Cho is gone again.
SPAMku accumulate like
SPAM in the colon.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4611.
Kevorkian says:
"SPAM deep fried in Olestra--
Five pounds minimum."

--Carl Rosenbush, Jr.

4612.
daily can of SPAM
I vomit all the time now
chunks of hominy

--Jon

4613.
I avert my gaze,
coax clammy gelmeat from can.
OHNO it touched me!

--Anonymous

4614.
Last posted SPAMku
Before Cho's long hiatus
Is 4-5-3-2.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4615.
Cho cannot perform
the duties of his office.
Needs a deputy.

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4616.
Perhaps he should hire
a SPAMku vice-president.
Kemp will need a job!

--Dale Wisely, dwisely@wwisp.com

4617.
Watching pork-like SPAM
I grab a spork poised to strike
Man, life sucks some ham

--Paul E. King, 5011.0836@trader.com

4618.
Haiku good fellow
All about SPAM now you see
Nature's meat product

--Paul E. King, 5011.0836@trader.com

4619.
Spiced ham, it is not
Damned contest lied to us all
Who won anyway?

--Paul E. King, 5011.0836@trader.com

4620.
Worst part of pig took
Severed with big meaty hook
Looks good on shingles

--Paul E. King, 5011.0836@trader.com

4621.
The end of a pig:
Butthole preserved in blue can.
The end of a pig.

--Bill Turner, turnerwj@muohio.edu

4622.
I am SPAM vomit
The people love me dearly
They step in me too

--Anonymous

4623.
I love the pork part
But I can't resist the beef
I love SPAM it's neat

--Anonymous

4624.
Eastwood orders lunch.
All they have is year-old SPAM.
Does Clint feel lucky?

--Anonymous

4625.
Sing, goddess of SPAM
eternal, everlasting,
or so it appears.

--Anonymous

4626.
SPAM is a bad ham,
flubbery, gross, disgusting.
Could it poison us?

--Carrie, age 6

4627.
Slippery, shiny,
luscious meat slides down my throat.
THIS comes from a can?

--Amelia Long

4628.
With surgical skill
I slice the quivering heap.
An organ? No, SPAM.

--Janet Long

4629.
Meat in can to sup'
But lo, what rumblings below?
Puke on floor I go.

--James Stover, stover@eisinc.com

4630.
I'm Sam, yes, I am.
I'd rather green eggs and ham
Than greasy, pink SPAM!

--Kathleen LeNormand, bookworm@nternet.com

4631.
Blood spurts in the air
Coagulating on me
I appear a scab

--J P Maloney

4632.
Inside friendly can,
a flaccid gel else unknown.
I'll chew it myself.

--Anonymous

4633.
spam says, "god is dead"
god says, "spam is not real food"
god one, spam zero

--Anonymous

4634.
1943
Mother was on a SPAM spree
I still love that stuff

--Ron

4635.
How many SPAM cans
to construct China's Great Wall?
Dyspeptic armies!

--Art Durkee, Stickdragn@aol.com

4636.
Transmit SPAM haiku
to space from Arecibo--
no more aliens!

--Art Durkee and Al Jewer

4637.
Put a wick in SPAM:
Burns quite well but smells REAL bad.
At last, a good use!

--Al Jewer

4638.
what is it, they asked
that taste, i just can't place it.
it's spam she replied.

--Elizabeth Lindsey

4639.
Mom, you're a great cook,
but I just have one question:
Is this edible?

--A. Hitt, ahitt@express-news.net

4640.
You are a hottie!
I dig your muscles supreme!
Be mine, gorgeous wench!

--The Serene James Duvall

4641.
If SPAM in life time
No SPAM in my mother's milk.
Ever to suckle.

--Anonymous

4642.
Mean English teacher,
I will make her into SPAM.
It will be tasty.

--shane beck

4643.
God created SPAM,
He saw that it was NOT good,
but what could He do?

--shane beck

4644.
Ready for breakfast
SPAM awaits my frying pan
So where's the baked beans?

--Dave Wilson

4645.
SPAM, my pork friend, yes
Oh, be it ever so sad
You must leave me now

--5011.0836@trader.com, http://www.trader.com/users/5011/0836/default.htm

4646.
Ignore this small SPAM
For I know not Netiquette
Make Money Fast man!

--5011.0836@trader.com, http://www.trader.com/users/5011/0836/default.htm

4647.
Flesh of pig, spice not
Put it in a big tin can
SPAM is what you've got

--5011.0836@trader.com, http://www.trader.com/users/5011/0836/default.htm

4648.
SPAM cries loudly out
ANTIDISESTABLISHMENT
We now know our SPAM

--5011.0836@trader.com, http://www.trader.com/users/5011/0836/default.htm

4649.
Gelatinous goo
Scrape it off, mmm mmm mmm good
SPAM es tu nombre

--5011.0836@trader.com, http://www.trader.com/users/5011/0836/default.htm

4650.
SPAM is to Brooklyn
What garth is to this old town
Both stink when aging

--5011.0836@trader.com, http://www.trader.com/users/5011/0836/default.htm

4651.
At Albuquerque
Fiesta, no SPAM-shaped bal-
Loon. A good idea.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4652.
Gas for the balloons
Was provided by Hormel.
You don't want to know.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4653.
Is saying "I'm pink
Therefore I'm SPAM" putting the
Hog before Descartes?

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4654.
The tiny tin box,
a chemical treasure chest,
hides its salty loaf.

--Greg Hillegas, Ghille@dwpcpo2.dreamworks.com

4655.
Head cheese of the gods.
It's all I can do to keep
from wetting myself.

--Greg Hillegas, Ghille@dwpcpo2.dreamworks.com

4656.
S...P...A...M...SPAM!
Three cheers for our hero SPAM!
Rotting my colon!

--Greg Hillegas, Ghille@dwpcpo2.dreamworks.com

4657.
A slab of SPAM loaf,
wrapped in a moldy napkin,
hiding in the plant.

--Greg Hillegas, Ghille@dwpcpo2.dreamworks.com

4658.
the cupboard was bare
except for that one can. SPAM.
they all went hungry

--Elizabeth Lindsey

4659.
A tin of pink SPAM
can last just as long as a
lifetime without sex.

--Iron Willy

4660.
"He started it," said
the boy with the bleeding nose.
"He shat on my SPAM!"

--Iron Willy

4661.
SPAM for Halloween
Gimme something good to eat
A Trick or a Treat?

--heidi e

4662.
Scrapple, a close SPAM
Random pork parts but no can
And no gelatin

--heidi e

4663.
One cold SPAM slapping
Suffering is its essence
It is heroic

--Rex Jung, rjung@unm.edu

4664.
fangs tear into can
stagnant juice drips back to ears
as batboy eats spam

--Drew Bell, atb593s@nic.smsu.edu

4665.
oleaginous
arteriosclerotic
dreck--canned heart attack

--John Baxter, jbkd@bc.sympatico.ca

4666.
"Oh bother," says Pooh,
"Piglet's nowhere to be found.
But what's this blue can?"

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4667.
Sorry to say friends,
But Dole will not win the race.
Would not eat his SPAM!

--Ron II, tatex006@tc.umn.edu

4668.
Body Mass Index
Doctor measures my SPAM to
Water ratio

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4669.
Orioles' player
Spits, spams a childless umpire,
Roberto's poor taste

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4670.
Yankees in Series
Seven games of pink flabby
Men playing baseball

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4671.
Baseball Superstars
Overpaid gum chewing pigs
Head SPAM: Steinbrenner

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4672.
Seattle's Pearl SPAM
Slimy, sweaty grunge rockers
Angry SPAM amped

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4673.
SPAM Vitalogy
Eddie Vedder sings about
Eating well done SPAM

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4674.
Eddie has SPAM skin
It decides his fate for him
He befriends the SPAM

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4675.
Omaha Bombing
Terrorists used SPAM filled bomb
"It takes a licking"

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4676.
Yeltsin ousts Lebed
Fiery Russian made grab
For Boris's SPAM

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4677.
Yeltsin's favorite,
SPAM in blankets with vodka
Breakfast, lunch, dinner

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4678.
Nor'Easter spams coast
Drops 8 inches on New York
City slippery

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4679.
Dilbert Principle:
Promote SPAM to management
Renders it harmless

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4680.
Got internet link,
Download cyber-SPAM pictures
From Holland: SPAM porn!

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4681.
AOL dropped me
For SPAMming their members with
SPAM pyramid schemes.

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4682.
"Nam myo ho renge
kyo," chant Buddhists. Here, it's "John
Nagamichi Cho."

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4683.
November 5th choice:
SPAM or SPAM Lite. Is it too
Late to emigrate?

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4684.
Oh SPAM you are SPAM
Your Spamming doth SPAM my SPAM
Oh SPAM you are SPAM

--Kevin Curtiss

4685.
Why do we say "SPAM?"
Pork Shoulder, Ham, in the can.
So we should say "PSHAM!"

--James Stover, stover@eisinc.com

4686.
SPAM, our "Old Glory"
Not like hip, continental
Vienna Sausage

--James Stover, stover@eisinc.com

4687.
Happier I am
Ginger and soy sauce to cram
Sushi made with SPAM

--Doug Kremer

4688.
Numb mouth eating SPAM
Feel the slobber trickle down
Yum, yum hot pig juice

--Lisa Fowler, chica15@sight.net

4689.
spam you glistening
magical pink wonderbox
time bomb full of fun

--Tim Rowell, tim@mass-illusion.com

4690.
Savory pink block,
Like a deer at a salt lick
I give you my tongue.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4691.
In Jerusalem,
The Romans can find no SPAM.
The temple blazes.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4692.
"Please, Sir, I want more."
Oliver gets SPAM instead.
"Please, Sir, I want less."

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4693.
Meat mausoleum
Mass grave in miniature
Pop open the lid!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4694.
Soft, pink, fleshy SPAM
Goes from yonic to phallic
Hardening with heat

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4695.
Ho-ho little pig!
You cannot run fast enough
To escape Hormel!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4696.
Breast implants of SPAM
Are safer than silicone
And twice as tasty.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4697.
The river wanders
Past sties and golden cornfields.
Huck and Jim share SPAM.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4698.
Ruby rectangle
In a coruscating gel
Jewel on my plate

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4699.
Cooked over mesquite,
SPAM enrobes the desert moon
In a fragrant stole.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4700.
SPAM in space? Why not!
We have sent other tin cans
Every bit as frail.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com


Move forwards to Numbers 4701-4800.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.