SPAM Haiku 3201-3300

Move backwards to Numbers 3101-3200.


3201.
Just before the raid
Israel warns Lebanon:
"We'll be dropping SPAM."
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3202.
At the Hormel plant
"Take Your Daughter to Work Day"
was a dismal flop.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3203.
Parents tried their best,
but their daughters said, "No way!
SPAM makes me blow chunks!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3204.
Jackie O auction:
Japanese investor bids
big for her SPAM hat.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3205.
Hey, SHAM, when are you
gonna let us vote on the
next thousand haiku?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3206.
In Tom Clancy's book
"The Hunt For Pink October"
SPAM tries to defect.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3207.
Bob Dole, Bill Clinton.
Must we choose between these two?
Cast your vote for SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3208.
A cliche haiku:
"That's not SPAM; that is my wife!"
"Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3209.
If there is something
Elevating about SPAM
Hormel has done well

--May Fuentevilla, 71470.3051@compuserve.com

3210.
Here a SPAM, there a
SPAM, everywhere a SPAM, SPAM.
OH NO, NOT AGAIN!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3211.
It's a SPAM nightmare:
Walking toward me and drooling...
The SPAMpire's Revenge

--Janie Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3212.
Another SPAM film:
The Night of the Living SPAM
Tasting is horror!

--Janie Applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

3213.
Best possible world:
Pink meat is tastiest meat.
Doctor Spamgloss gags.

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3214.
Thumper pounds, man flees
Hissing grows in the desert
Spam-hulud rises

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3215.
Einstein: Universe
Isn't caused by random blasts.
"God does not eat SPAM!"

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3216.
For the sadomas-
ochist: knives hurt, but SPAM works
wonders for torture!

--Jason Young, ThePezBoy@aol.com

3217.
This dust was Marla.
By eating SPAM every day
she crumbled away.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3218.
SPAM packed tight in can.
Cruelty in extremis.
Call for free-range SPAM!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3219.
Good low-fat diet
will include veggies and beans.
And, of course, oatSPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3220.
She was Pleased with SPAM,
so she Asked for even More.
"But cut the mustard!"

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3221.
Polish furniture.
SPAM is rubbed on maple, ah!
Who needs mayonnaise?

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3222.
The ACLU
will defend haiku website.
Amicus cum SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3223.
SPAM in labeled cans.
Regular, Lite, and Improved.
It's all in the PRINT.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3224.
But to have kids, Sire,
your SPAM count should be higher.
I am not kidding.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3225.
Fossilized beetle.
DNA immobilized.
Trapped in clear SPAMber.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3226.
Food fight with canned SPAM
There's not a piece left to eat
Everybody wins

--Burlington HS, draggin'gaggon

3227.
A trembling river.
Quivering lights of Hong Kong.
Me in my SPAMpan.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3228.
I pig out a lot.
When I go to Camelot,
I eat SPAMelot.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3229.
SPAM comes up on me.
SPAM and I do disagree.
I repeat myself.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3230.
His opus was "SPAM,
That Indispensable Food."
There lies his corpus.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3231.
There a wiggling worm
lying near that can of SPAM~.
No, only tilde.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3232.
A long time ago
Martin Luther banged his thumb.
Swung hammer--and SPAM!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3233.
President Clinton
only goes to McDonald's
in hopes they'll serve SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3234.
Dehydrated SPAM.
Born in a vacuum system.
Abhorred by Nature.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3235.
In small town of Burls,
who but George scares little girls?
That nasty young SPAMp!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3236.
"Take white wine away."
Never white with SPAM entrée.
Throw the look at them!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3237.
What are you strange quarks
doing in a can of SPAM?
You should know better.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3238.
One quantum of SPAM
makes you JUMP from here to there.
Energy compressed!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3239.
I have not the time
to explain this spam of time.
Please notice quick rhyme.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3240.
Who are you kidding?
Okay, WHOM are you kidding?
You really like SPAM?

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3241.
Fido loves his SPAM.
His pals have never had it.
He has one leg up.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3242.
His pals don't like it.
Fido is faithful to SPAM.
TEMPER FIDELIS!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3243.
Yes, I get malaise
having SPAM with mayonnaise.
Even sans mayo.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3244.
Yes, I've heard of it.
It made all the front pages.
But Mad SPAM disease??

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3245.
This fine Macintosh,
with DRAM plus RAM and some ROM,
has three megs of SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3246.
My Muse doth abuse.
Wants a fine sonnet on SPAM.
I am who I am!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3247.
Read the lab report.
She died from her indulgence:
A slave unto SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3248.
Like her friend Lenore
she was dead at twenty-four.
SPAM showed her the door.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3249.
I use SPAM two ways:
In frying pan and in verse.
It's chic to pan SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3250.
For the latest news
and meaty bits of gossip
please turn on C-SPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3251.
The hors d'ouevres were great
And the party was a gas
(due of course to SPAM).

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3252.
Does Hormel tell Swift?
Does Swift even care to know?
The answer is, No!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3253.
My Muse has found me.
"Only SPAM!" That's her command.
A rope to hang her!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3254.
Using S-x and SPAM
I could write a good haiku.
If I only knew!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3255.
Here is agenda.
"SPAM" is now on the table.
Convene the 'eeting.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3256.
Hormel purviews SPAM.
The strangest combination.
Elite peddles meat.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3257.
If you're good to me
I will give you some more SPAM.
See how good I am?

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3258.
You take time to love.
You look longingly at SPAM.
Then you take it in.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3259.
She was exciting.
And the SPAM was inviting.
A great lust supper.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3260.
I don't see comet.
So, this dark and starless night,
I use my SPAM Lite.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3261.
Witness my despair.
For haiku I do not care.
"Publish or perish."

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3262.
The Church can relent.
You may have SPAM on Friday.
(Except during Lent.)

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3263.
Heavy box of SPAM
is evidence sufficient.
So I rest my case.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3264.
Turn on NPR.
Learned discussion of SPAM.
Not recommended.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3265.
Insight into SPAM,
to be quite re-alistic,
would be a hindsight.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3266.
A new restriction.
FDA promulgation:
All foods, drugs, SPAM-free.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3267.
Greasy mass of SPAM
Sitting on a timber log
Please bury it soon

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3268.
Massive SPAM attack
Have to get to toilet soon
Ruined the car seat

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3269.
Indigestible
Quavering in my belly
It surely is SPAM

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3270.
Home, sat on toilet
GOD! SPAM spraying everywhere
No use for it now

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3271.
Texaco is mad
Blew down the public restroom
Porcoline in ass

--Randall and Jan Funke, funke@continet.com

3272.
Secretaries' and
Take Daughters to Work Days passed.
SPAM now tastes fishy.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3273.
The cat ate the SPAM.
It's in Stephan King's new book,
SPAM Cemetary.

--Janie Applecheeks

3274.
Where are the SPAM blues
R. Johnson, John Hooker wrote?
Guess they should be "pinks."

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3275.
That ain't mud in that
Minnesota Mississip',
Nor Lead in Belly.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3276.
"Pinks" should be sung with
Accompaniment of a
Greased harmonica.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3277.
My woman done gone
Left me with nuthin' but dis
Half-empty SPAM can.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3278.
Yeah, my woman's gone
Left me with a picked-over,
six-month-old SPAM can.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3279.
If I find dat gal,
Gonna shoot her 'n' bury
Her in a SPAM can.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3280.
Can't you hear them now?
"The Wreck of the Hormel Freight"?
And "SPAMstack Lightnin'"?

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3281.
Darlin', you put your
Sugar in my tea, I'll slap
My SPAM on your plate.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3282.
"Weren't it sad when that
Great Loaf went down?" Hey, he was
Called Pink Anderson.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3283.
We go to Houghton,
Houghton is a lump of SPAM.
We love our SPAM home.

--mark_mashiotta@houghton.edu, diane_lewis@houghton.edu

3284.
Thinner ozone there.
Antarctica this weekend.
Get a good sunSPAM.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3285.
vienna sausage
it tastes good with vegemite
but spam is better

--eric smythe (llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3286.
When sick I eat it
SPAM will take care of it all
SPAM makes me happy

--Mark Mashiotta

3287.
Jizzy SPAM is bad
His mom eats it for dinner
It makes her queezy

--Mark Mashiotta

3288.
dead man is at bar
he is offered deep fried spam
he would rather die

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3289.
i am a spam fan
we all shall die sometime soon
maybe in a can

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3290.
spam is on t.v.
it is all spam all day long
it has poor ratings

--eric smythe (a.k.a. llama-lad), jsmythe@erols.com

3291.
"I am King Arthur
and this is my servant, SPAM."
"Pull the other one!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3292.
The Truth About Cats
and Dogs:
It's simple. They were
all made into SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3293.
"Tastes like a SPAM but
smells like a sneaker." A failed
ad campaign idea.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3294.
Down in Deep 13,
Dr. Forrester invents
SPAM. It's DEEP HURTING!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3295.
Mitsubishi plant.
Female workers are urged to
wear SPAM bikinis.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3296.
Then dogs are brought in
to eat the bikinis off.
Someone call the cops!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3297.
OK, I will call
the cops, but first I must get
my Instamatic.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3298.
"Pizza! Pizza!" says
that Little Caesar's guy. Does
Hormel say, "SPAM! SPAM!"?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3299.
Fed SPAM to rhinos.
Then fed SPAM to pangolins.
Endangered species.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3300.
Tie me kangaroo
down, sport. OK, now I will
make SPAM outta him.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com


Move forwards to Numbers 3301-3400.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.