SPAM Haiku 201-300

Move backwards to Numbers 101-200.


201.
In regards to SPAM:
Sexual hangups aside,
It makes me feel strange.
--Stewart McKeever, mckeevers@cofc.edu

202.
SPAM is useful stuff.
So versatile, you'll never
Try anything else.

--Stewart McKeever, mckeevers@cofc.edu

203.
Snouts, ears, hooves, and such
Maybe floor sweepings as well
SPAM! Food of the gods!

--Pat_Williams@itd.sterling.com

204.
Jules refuses SPAM
And all related products
But Vinny likes it.

--"Mia Wallace"

205.
"Please don't murder me,
Mister SPAM, son of Satan!"
Vegan cries of woe.

--Anonymous

206.
Home, in the icebox.
Ravenous most of the time.
Frozen SPAM crunches.

--dforbes@chipcom.com

207.
SPAM? What's all this then?
Oh yes, the pink sweet meat. Urp.
Ack. I'm gonna hurl.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

208.
Snouts and hooves and eyes,
Oh my! Come here, my pretty
pretty meat-like food.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

209.
SPAM? Chipped pork and ham?
Much better than Treet, is SPAM.
Can I have your SPAM?

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

210.
These are the forces
that drive the hands that make SPAM.
The great taste of meat!

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

211.
Qu'est-ce que c'est, ce "SPAM"?
Une viande formidable?
Non, je ne crois pas.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

212.
SPAM, SPAM. Musical
meat. More you eat, more you bleat.
Pass the Rolaids, please.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

213.
the apparition
of this gelatinous mass:
wet pink pig's asses

--DPL

214.
SPAM is more than ham
It is ham with something more
We are all SPAM, man!

--Darren Sleeman, darren@open17.europe.apple.com

215.
Try the SPAM diet:
Whenever you look at SPAM
you don't want to eat.

--Nichole

216.
Colon-clogging SPAM.
A rectal intubation
Relieves my distress.

--Anonymous

217.
Colostomy bags
Emptied into squarish cans
The SPAM factory

--Anonymous

218.
SPAM glistens pinkly;
Cat taps it with wary paw
To see if it's dead.

--Anonymous

219.
Pigs in cubicles,
Bearing cubical piglets,
Born in their SPAM cans.

--Tom, tomm@beast.amd.com

220.
If mapS were made of
Spam, would Spam be made of ham?
I really doubt it.

--Tom, tomm@beast.amd.com

221.
Dole, Gramm, and Gingrich.
Pink, porcine, processed, packaged.
Political SPAM.

--Spamonymous

222.
Soviet Union.
Evil Empire? Sure! But we
Can't blame it on SPAM.

--Spamonymous

223.
Downtown park in spring
with SPAM-pink cherry blossoms
neon haze of night

--Dr. S. Garrigues, steve@bh.kyungpook.ac.kr

224.
Sunset placid pond
where campers often linger--
rusted can of SPAM

--Dr. S. Garrigues, steve@bh.kyungpook.ac.kr

225.
Memories of days
waiting in employment lines--
long days without SPAM

--Dr. S. Garrigues, steve@bh.kyungpook.ac.kr

226.
SPAM used for fish bait
Game warden walks up to me
"See yer SPAM license?"

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

227.
Will the fish bite SPAM?
Hey dude, you know they eat worms!
They will not bite SPAM?

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

228.
Fish not biting SPAM?
Why don't you try something else?
Hey dude, what's yer point?

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

229.
There is an oil slick
So much for fishing with SPAM
I hide from GreenPeace

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

230.
Oil boils in skillet
Pink flesh falls from bright sharp knife
Sound of SPAM frying

--Anonymous

231.
Lovely butterfly,
Floating on zephyr's bosom.
I'd squash you for SPAM.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

232.
Refrigerator
light reveals SPAM to hungry
drunk. Next morning: puke.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

233.
As she turns away,
I think, "Good riddance, you bitch.
I've still got my SPAM."

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

234.
Scott O'Grady packed
SPAM in his survival kit,
lived on bugs for days.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

235.
"Mommy," says the brat,
"I don't like Spam." Mom replies,
"Hold your breath; swallow."

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

236.
Notes spill forth as the
SPAM I use to fret the strings
gunks up my guitar.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

237.
Sweat beads on temples
As straining against my bonds
I yearn for the SPAM.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

238.
The lowly catfish,
carrion-eating, rejects
my SPAM-covered hook.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

239.
Morbidity is
Mine. Spamosity is SPAM's
Blessed holiness.

--Bill Robertson, billr@bu.edu

240.
I remember SPAM.
As child, camping; as adult,
vegetarian.

--Brian Smithson, brian@eit.com

241.
SPAM, are you father
to hot dogs, baloney and
Chicken McNuggets?

--Bill T. Cat

242.
O SPAM of ages
Preservatives protect thee
Hundred-year shelf life

--Anonymous

243.
Swine that died for SPAM
Shall you outlast your slayers?
Dead, yet immortal.

--Anonymous

244.
SPAM, meat in a can
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM, parts of a lamb

--Anonymous

245.
reconstituted
synthetic homogofood
one is what one eats

--Anonymous

246.
SPAM, I ate you once
I was very hungry then
Looking back, I wince

--Anonymous

247.
Meat of the People
Proletarian Protein
The Workers eat well!

--Anonymous

248.
SPAM: Holy Meat, or
Is it an internet clog?
I respond to both!

--Charlie Gould, cgould@bu.edu

249.
Farm Scene: Happy Pig.
Old MacDonald, axe in hand.
SPAM ingredients.

--Anonymous

250.
Thick pink slice of SPAM
Frying in a frying pan
Shaped, still, like the can

--Anonymous

251.
Sitting on my shelf
Serene SPAM, pig-pink pretty
Fills me with pleasure

--Sharon Hall

252.
Sweaty summer night.
Stomach churns in agony.
SPAM farts. Holy Shit!

--Anonymous

253.
Beloved kitty.
Cupboard bare except for SPAM.
Kitty rest in peace.

--Bill T. Cat

254.
My mother loved SPAM,
Glistening pink cube of "pork."
I'm in therapy.

--Dave Barsalow

255.
Arnold Ziffel, pig.
Resident of Green Acres.
Does he rest in SPAM?

--Dave Barsalow

256.
Took the SPAM plant tour.
A cause for fear and concern:
WORKERS MISSING LIMBS!!!

--Bill T. Cat

257.
Frolicking fat frog,
Living near the factory.
Now he is SPAM too!

--Bill T. Cat

258.
Drive to work one morn,
My eyes spy pink roadkill chunk.
Think of SPAM for lunch.

--Bill T. Cat

259.
Sign says "SPAM ahead."
Next exit is fifty miles.
Sped up to 80.

--Bill T. Cat

260.
SHAM, you bastard, you've
wrecked my life. Now my time's spent
writing SPAM haiku.

--Bill T. Cat

261.
Creamy grits and SPAM,
SPAM-gravy gravid biscuits:
Blubber tastes better.

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

262.
SPAM, encased in can,
Coil up your metal zip-strip.
Hark! Uncork your pork!

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

263.
Apollo 13:
What really happened up there?
SPAM got in the works.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

264.
If SPAM went to Cannes,
Would the glamorous Cannes hams
Be jealous of SPAM?

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

265.
If SPAM went to Cannes,
Would the glamorous Cannes ham
Be gel-less than SPAM?

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

266.
Mmm! SPAM for dinner!
Now I need some nutrition--
Twinkies for dessert.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

267.
SPAM, SPAM on the range
Where beer and cantaloupe play
Listen to their calls

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

268.
Try new SPAM carving
All you need's a plastic knife
I can carve a pig

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

269.
"Man Chokes on SPAM Chunk"
Bit off more than he could chew.
It's a pink mourning.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

270.
SPAM, a child's plaything.
Even better than Play Dough--
surpasses slime, too.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

271.
Oh, succulent SPAM,
I want to sink my teeth in
and taste your pork-joy.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

272.
A high-school catch word:
"Spamn it spam face, spam off man,
Hot spam injection."

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

273.
My granddad likes SPAM;
It doesn't stick to dentures.
SPAM makes false teeth smile.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

274.
His carnal desire,
insatiable lust for SPAM
led to destruction.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

275.
Spam-modic motion
like a yo-yo in your throat,
rising, falling gorge.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

276.
Road-kill in a can,
remains of bloody victims
and they call it SPAM.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

277.
Gazing in horror
as my SPAM walks out the door.
"Come back, please, come back!!"

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

278.
I scolded my SPAM
because it left the seat up--
repeat offender.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

279.
The SPAM mystery:
unidentifiable
ancient pork secret.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

280.
Gyrating SPAM blobs--
fluorescent pink and dancing,
smiling, pulsating.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

281.
SPAM, straight from the can
or fried on bread with ketchup.
MMmmmemories from youth.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

282.
Fifteen cans of SPAM,
I have the power you Fools!
Thus I rule, kitchens?

--Anonymous

283.
Soon headlines will read
"Government Seizes SPAM Plant!"
I eat in great fear

--Anonymous

284.
SUMMER: Time for SPAM!
Cornucopia of parts;
I reel at the thought!

--Charlie Gould, cgould@bu.edu

285.
I asked her for SPAM.
"Not in this house!" she replied.
Instant proposal!!

--Charlie Gould, cgould@bu.edu

286.
Desire overwhelms.
"SPAM, I must have more of it!"
Freud would be enthralled.

--Andrew Smialek, asmialek@SEVA.net

287.
Public swimming pool.
Half-empty SPAM can floats by.
Pandemonium!

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

288.
To kill slugs and bugs
Place can of SPAM in garden.
They crawl in and die.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

289.
Only that which ain't
Used for hot dogs and sausage
Is made into SPAM.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

290.
Flunked out of high school,
Now work in SPAM factory.
My teacher was right.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

291.
McDonald's, Hormel
Forge business alliance, serve
SPAM Quarter Pounder.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

292.
Target marketing:
'Rassling will be sponsored by
SPAM, Psychic Hotline.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

293.
Bones, blood, and sinew.
Eyeballs, gonads, and sphincters.
Could be anything.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

294.
Group of friends cooking
SPAM around campfire: "It don't
get no better'n this!"

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

295.
I sing the blues and
Think about the SPAM I left
behind: misery!

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

296.
Pig-parts garbage dump,
Enterprising rummager.
"SPAM, I give you life!"

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

297.
Radar was upset,
SPAM Lamb was the solution.
Crisis averted.

--asmialek@SEVA.net

298.
The war in the Gulf:
Saddam wanted Kuwaiti SPAM.
Tyranny halted.

--asmialek@SEVA.net

299.
I have got a SPAM
Where my cerebellum was;
Perhaps vice-versa?

--john "friday is spam-day" sahr

300.
SPAM Symmetry Group:
top bottom, left right, up down
Iso-tasty moves.

--john "friday is spam-day" sahr


Move forwards to Numbers 301-400.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.