SPAM Haiku 17501-17600

Move backwards to Numbers 17401-17500.


17501.
what is it Mulder?
i have to tell you something--
the SPAM--it's out there!
--odanrav

17502.
disgusting meat food
unsolicited emails
what's the difference?

--odanrav

17503.
made a grave mistake--
used SPAM in Atkins' diet
pray for my demise!

--odanrav

17504.
environmental?
if SPAM spoiled, how could you tell?
Hormel makes no waste!

--odanrav

17505.
spa--relaxing room
pam--a non-stick cooking spray
SPAM--the pig was fooled

--odanrav

17506.
does Bill Gates eat SPAM?
pervasive, disgusting, fake
this explains Windows!

--odanrav

17507.
SPAM, SPAM, what art thou?
SPAM by any other name
would smell just as gross!

--odanrav

17508.
why do i sit here
writing haiku about SPAM?
i'll try limericks

--odanrav

17509.
Russ Meyers' Lorna.
What were they eating at lunch?
First time I saw SPAM.

--Scat O'Sinus, scatosinusman@excite.com

17510.
It rests in a can...
But will I enjoy the taste?
MY GOD THIS IS GOOD.

--Ryan J., Bovinecrusader@hotmail.com

17511.
Treasure in a can
It can make some musubi.
Wham! Bam! Thank you, SPAM!

--Ryan J., bovinecrusader@hotmail.com

17512.
Snakes rattle the trail
Port-o-pot in desert grove
I hold the SPAM in

--Shelley

17513.
Friday night, alone.
Searching the larder, I find,
a tin of SPAM. Joy.

--John Byer

17514.
Tesco van arrived.
Unloaded, signed, and sorted.
No tins of SPAM though.

--John Byer

17515.
O fellow addicts.
As we lie on our deathbeds,
We eulogize SPAM.

--John Byer

17516.
"It's meat Jim but not...."
"SPAM-ons on the starboard bow."
Star Trek meets SPAM. Weird.

--John Byer

17517.
News of the World says,
"All human life is there," but,
It's here--SPAM haiku.

--John Byer

17518.
SPAM acrostic verse
is impossible, I think,
in haiku structure.

--John Byer

17519.
Take a slice of SPAM
Dip it in some fresh batter
Fry it in a pan

--a SPAM fan

17520.
The Naked Chef says,
"Flambé your SPAM in Cointreau."
Don't listen to him.

--John Byer

17521.
Tiny cubes glisten,
floating in lemon Jell-O.
Mmm, Mmm. Good pig meat!

--Chuck Shotton, ctshotton@hotmail.com

17522.
Pearl Harbor got bombed.
"We need chow for huge armies!"
Hormel stock price soars.

--Milford Pigboy

17523.
What kind of loser
submits haiku to a SPAM
site?...wait a minute...

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17524.
Strolling through Shop-Rite
New SPAM type: turkey in can
Just what the earth needs...

--Phil, Philweisnj@aol.com

17525.
Vile, detestable
SPAM chunks!Pigs everywhere scream
for retribution!

--Milford Pigboy

17526.
Compare SPAM, women
They both come with a can, but
SPAM is much cheaper

--T. Gibson

17527.
I swallow it all
Phlegm rises, head spins around
I win the tenner

--Emsta-SPAM is the only way, famousgherkin@hotmail.com

17528.
Eat it with eyes closed
Inspect not the slick pink slab
Once I found a tooth

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17529.
Comfortable couch
Crusted SPAM in the skillet
You don't seem to mind

--Dan Carver, dancarver1@hotmail.com

17530.
Blast of tail pipe fire
Police far behind our wake
SPAM in the gas tank

--Dan Carver, dancarver1@hotmail.com

17531.
What is the big deal?
It's just ham and spices... and...
Well... some other stuff.

--Jimmy Sweeney

17532.
Two good things happened.
The new SPAM plant opened, and
All the strays are gone!

--Jimmy Sweeney

17533.
Picture happiness.
Try to picture a land with
SPAM as president.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17534.
O'er the land of the
free and the home of the SPAM.
SPAMkee doodle doo.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17535.
I am the SPAM King.
Hooo. I am the walrus. Hooo.
I am the SPAM King.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17536.
Vietnam? Not peace.
Assassination? Not good.
SPAM? Not fucking bad.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17537.
Eat me. Eat it all.
I love to be eaten whole.
I am the SPAM King.

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17538.
Does Pam? Yes. Sam? Yes.
Does Cam? YES. How about Fritz?
YES! They all eat SPAM!

--Buckeye Brant of Atlanta, Georgia

17539.
I went to France once.
Haute cuisine and escargots.
No SPAM though. Came back.

--John Byer

17540.
OFSTED next Monday.
Hope my "reggie" is mellowed
by SPAM for breakfast.

--John Byer

17541.
Death Row, 'lectric chair.
Last request for breakfast--SPAM.
They fry together.

--John Byer

17542.
My satellite dish,
"Discovery, News and Sport."
No SPAM channel though.

--John Byer

17543.
Gargling with SPAM, Ann,
would mellow that vitriol.
Which Ann? you think. R?

--John Byer

17544.
Actually it was
that Tory haridan, witch.
SPAM of the devil.

--John Byer

17545.
Pranged my car today.
No filler but don't despair,
SPAM is versatile.

--John Byer

17546.
Vile, unspeakably
greasy, lurid pink SPAM cube:
from lunch, nausea.

--Milford Pigboy

17547.
Reprehensible
leftover pig offal chunks:
they float in my soup.

--Milford Pigboy

17548.
Unmitigated
gall; to serve greasy SPAM chunks
at fancy dress ball.

--Milford Pigboy

17549.
Inhuman fiend who
first made SPAM: go back to pit
in Hell that spawned you!

--Milford Pigboy

17550.
Vile, nauseating
SPAM slice: just to hear your name
makes stomach queasy.

--Milford Pigboy

17551.
SPAM and provolone
hot onion roll surrounding
perfect with mayo

--Dwight Kirkpatrick

17552.
"Revolution'ry"
new pull-tab SPAM can, now on
history's ash heap.

--Milford Pigboy

17553.
Vile, deceitful loaf;
they say you are just "spiced ham,"
but we know better.

--Milford Pigboy

17554.
Bouquet of slices,
colorful garnish; image,
not reality.

--Milford Pigboy

17555.
Homogenized pig
parts pressed into pink cube--it's
engineered that way.

--Milford Pigboy

17556.
Aching, bleary head
Soft, regurgitated SPAM
Smelly pink pillow

--flem

17557.
What an evil dream
Sinking in warm, quicksand SPAM
No more sleep tonight

--flem

17558.
Gigantic pink clouds
Psychiatrist wonders why
Sunset makes me ill

--flem

17559.
It's three whole days now,
since I last composed SPAM-ku.
Can't believe it--cured.

--John Byer

17560.
SPAM also is cured.
A thought worthy of haiku.
Take it day by day.

--John Byer

17561.
Cognitive powers
a special talent of pigs?
Don't think so--SPAM-bo.

--John Byer

17562.
SPAM-bo, Rambo, yeah?
Obvious analogy.
Brain power, denied.

--John Byer

17563.
Abomination!
Unnatural union of
shredded porcine parts!

--Milford Pigboy

17564.
Do you remember
that scene in "Deliverance"?
"Squeal like a pig." Gross.

--John Byer

17565.
Microflora of
pig waste lagoon: Frankenstein
genetic exchange.

--Milford Pigboy

17566.
"Mister, I love the
way..." (Yes, Deliverance) "...you
wear that (SPAM-pie) hat."

--John Byer

17567.
Back to that great film.
"This SPAM is special, aint it?"
Corn gone--replacement.

--John Byer

17568.
"Alien!" Great film.
Influential movie. SPAM,
would save you Ripley.

--John Byer

17569.
Bait the trap with SPAM.
Irresistible morsel.
Into the airlock.

--John Byer

17570.
Great white shark called Jaws.
Fill him up with endless SPAM.
Save all the swimmers.

--John Byer

17571.
Windows, pigs enter.
"An American werewolf..."
Like room service--SPAM.

--John Byer

17572.
Dots again, naughty.
But another great movie.
Werewolves--ersatz SPAM.

--John Byer

17573.
Holding can of SPAM
Nixon looks at cameras
"I am not a crook!"

--finbar

17574.
SPAM runs down baseline
Toward home plate; bunt is perfect
A suicide squeeze

--finbar

17575.
Summer warm ev'ning
Sitting by fire under stars
The SPAM soon sizzles

--P.C., plc1@siu.edu

17576.
Dare you eat the SPAM?
Gastrointestinal hell
Shall be your reward.

--Anonymous

17577.
Oh, foul addiction!
Writing SPAM-Ku I wax old
Oh, worthless pastime!

--Anonymous

17578.
Jelly-coated ham
Slides so gently down my throat
Oh how I love SPAM

--Erin Kennedy, chatty_chicky@hotmail.com

17579.
As I slowly die
Before my eyes it flashes
My final wish...SPAM

--Erin Kennedy, chatty_chicky@hotmail.com

17580.
What doth smelleth worse:
The putrid swine-flesh called SPAM
Or this tainted verse?

--Anonymous

17581.
More meat molecules
Per cubic centimeter
Than natural flesh.

--H. Ormel

17582.
I've never kicked ass.
Kicked a can of SPAM once though.
Couldn't open it.

--John Byer

17583.
SPAM is pretty cool
I've never had the pink stuff
What does it taste like?

--Anonymous

17584.
what is in this "SPAM"?
does it include piggy eyes?
someone please tell me!

--Troy Denton

17585.
why must SPAM be pink?
why not give it more color?
like green, red, or blue

--Troy Denton

17586.
SPAM is really cool
does SPAM turn green when moldy?
why not name it splink?

--Troy Denton

17587.
SPAM, CRAM, PRAM, RAM, SCHLAM
lots of things rhyme with this SPAM
wonder how many?

--Mike Thies, dude_mike106@hotmail.com

17588.
SPAM makes good ammo
It would probably hurt lots
SPAM could go in guns

--Troy Denton

17589.
I've never ate SPAM
Is its texture like Jell-O?
Or is it like soup?

--Troy Denton

17590.
Slimy, repulsive
SPAM loaf, product of ghoulish
pig mass-murderers.

--Milford Pigboy

17591.
SPAM cannot decay
Never spoiling, always fresh
Eternal shelf-life

--H. Ormel

17592.
Don't do as I did
I fed my goldfish some SPAM
Belly up, it floats

--H. Ormel

17593.
The acronym "SPAM":
Sodium Permeated
Artificial Meat

--H. Ormel

17594.
Mediocrity
Your pink blandness repels me
Ambitionless meat

--H. Ormel

17595.
SPAM does not mix well
With most flavors of Jell-O
Just trust me on this

--H. Ormel

17596.
Baskin Robbins had
a new summer flavor, but
SPAM curdled the cream.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17597.
Camping with Uncle
Joe at 10--weekend of SPAM
and molestation.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17598.
Stick a fork in it
Then yank the SPAM from the can
The meat-brick quivers

--H. Ormel

17599.
Must I eat the SPAM?
Please tube feed me so I won't
Taste it going down

--H. Ormel

17600.
Slaughterhouse offal!
SPAM is proof that the masses
Will buy anything

--H. Ormel


Move forwards to Numbers 17601-17700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.