SPAM Haiku 16701-16800

Move backwards to Numbers 16601-16700.


16701.
What shall we do with
salty pig waste? It's no good
for fertilizer!
--Milford Pigboy

16702.
Useless, salty pig
waste, stinkin' to high heaven,
like Ashcroft's dead skunk.

--Milford Pigboy

16703.
Saline desert pig
lagoons: contents fresh as SPAM,
and just as salty.

--Milford Pigboy

16704.
SPAM on the bedsheets
Multitudinous sinning
I want to feel guilt

--tomdraycott@hotmail.com

16705.
Teary memories
Potato buds and fried SPAM
Campfire with my dad

--Leslie Wooding

16706.
Lustful and licking
Pink SPAM on my clitoris
Pork for my orgasms

--Anonymous

16707.
Spamming with delight
What a wondrous sensation
My heart skips a beat

--tomdraycott@hotmail.com

16708.
dubya beats his SPAM
pink goo into a trash can
and on this he ran

--commieSPAMbeater, shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16709.
how thoughtful of you
for the poems and the songs
and the can of SPAM

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16710.
my hot desire waves
the rooms of rusty SPAM cans
pink love juice waiting

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16711.
gentlemen consume
a frog jumps into a SPAM
the sound of piggies

--Faith Davis, Fragglequest@hotmail.com

16712.
davy's halloween
can of SPAM and how he was
he made it himself

--Faith Davis, Fragglequest@hotmail.com

16713.
What is applesauce?
Spapple really, and yet, lives
His brother spurkey

--Faith Davis, Fragglequest@hotmail.com

16714.
Hormel employee
Accused of porking the SPAM
"Entrapment" he screams

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16715.
I subsist solely
on SPAM and licorice, and
I enjoy good health.

--Fozzie

16716.
masturbation's good
what to use as lubricant?
trust me, SPAM works well

--Matt Wetzel, shunboy2001@yahoo.com

16717.
Dear Hormel: Do you
need a mascot? Someone to
dress in a SPAM suit?

--Fozzie

16718.
SPAM Five Syllables
Does it sound like a haiku?
Five Syllables SPAM

--Bill Negrelli, billyz@billlyz.com

16719.
I'm tired of my job
Really don't need much money
Consume only SPAM

--jnov

16720.
Fed school lunch program
to receive SPAM--schools gear up
for more special ed.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16721.
So many stories
Sadness and joy of mankind
Mingled in blue can

--Kit

16722.
Chicken or egg: which
came first, ingestion of SPAM
or retardation?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16723.
Convulsive seizures
Spattering jabber in tongues
I have channeled SPAM

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16724.
Et merde de phalènes
I had a dream orgasm
Vivement ce soir

--Anonymous

16725.
Pink slab of sunshine
Glistening on Mom's Wedgwood
Rectangular bliss

--Bill Johnson, bill@sendbillmoney.com

16726.
My habit worsens
Pharmaceutical grade SPAM
Snorting day and night

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16727.
Flush SPAM down the can
Eliminate middleman
Self respect returns

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16728.
Mr T is tough
'cus he always eats his SPAM.
He's a crazy fool!

--Mr T

16729.
Pretty pink pig plop,
Liquified and then syringed.
Better than Mad Cow.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16730.
When the beef is gone,
And fish and fowl won't cut it,
smile. We still have SPAM.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16731.
Be kind to your SPAM.
Visit it in jail sometime.
It's down in aisle nine.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16732.
Skateboarder eyes can.
Faint smile. Says, "I can do this."
What a lubricant!

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16733.
Does it look like meat?
I mean, I hate to eat it
if it has eyeballs.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16734.
Pistol in one hand,
writing last words to the world.
They found the Mad Pig.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16735.
Her dirty secret:
Sometimes takes a little bite.
She wants to be bad.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@networkgenius.com

16736.
"Will you make dinner?"
Instead of feeding me, she
gives me cold shoulder.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@networkgenius.com

16737.
Sitting with blue cans,
twisting keys to liberate
tortured souls within.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@networkgenius.com

16738.
Is it possible?
People choose to eat that stuff?
Intentionally?!?

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@networkgenius.com

16739.
Oh the SPAMmy feel
Of the stoner's sweaty hand
With four fingers and

--adreyfus@umich.edu

16740.
Bargain Costco SPAM.
Inexpensive. I'll try it!
Oh dear! Big mistake.

--John Greer, jgreer@drizzle.com

16741.
An expired product
Over twenty years old now
Just needs some ketchup

--John Greer, jgreer@drizzle.com

16742.
The pink gelatin,
The wonder tin calls to me.
Oh! Where is my spoon?

--Anonymous

16743.
Bobo loves his SPAM
It adds to his freakishness
Choosy clowns choose SPAM

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16744.
SPAM never leaves us
Conservation of Matter
Alive forever

--Pete Lawyer

16745.
SPAM is injested.
Seven-year digestion starts.
Clear your calendar.

--Bloody Hell, phatassmofo@yahoo.com

16746.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
I have a buddy named Sam
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--Kat, kit_kat_meeyow@yahoo.com

16747.
SPAM, I thrive on thee
Salty goodness I love you
You're better than ham

--Beatrice, BSB_fan5@excite.com

16748.
SPAM warm from the can
Gelatinously juicy
Cancer-laden meat

--Lexi, lemonadri@yahoo.com

16749.
Quiero mucho SPAM
Me duele mi bariga
Pero quiero SPAM!

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

16750.
SPAM's a gourmet dream,
Serve it with some Beaujolais,
and some Camembert.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

16751.
SPAM of my nightmares,
Gelatinously juicy,
Pulsatingly pink.

--Bohdanna Kupych, bohdanna@i.com.ua

16752.
SPAM is my delight
You can eat it day or night
Eat SPAM it's the best

--Lexi, lemonadri@yahoo.com

16753.
It's SPAM-ular, dude!
Absolutely SPAM-tastic!
SPAM-a-lama-goo.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

16754.
Pink morsel sails by
A brief moment of beauty
Then a pile of mush

--Anonymous

16755.
Meat cube scuds through air
Hits rival in hated face
A fate worse than death

--Anonymous

16756.
Full belly have I
Seven cans in the garbage
SPAM is NOT email

--kiyotei, kiyotei@beer.com

16757.
The long, dark tunnel
White light obscured by...by SPAM?!
God stifles laughter

--Anonymous

16758.
Oh SPAM, my pink SPAM
I wipe my ass of SPAM, OH!
I shit in the can...

--The SPAMinator, bhshockey@lycos.com

16759.
Man, a can of SPAM
Now fried, baked, or even raw
SPAM, the can of man

--The SPAMinator, bhshockey@lycos.com

16760.
Grand Slam, Bloody SPAM
Your ass is bloody with SPAM
You shit in the can

--The SPAMinator

16761.
I dip in my toe
The temperature is just right
For joyous SPAM bath

--Miss Goo

16762.
he tore off the tab
like no man had ever done
revealing my SPAM

--Miss Goo

16763.
I had no friends then
Only pork shoulder and ham
SPAM is always there

--Miss Goo

16764.
The key unlocks you
Great pink mystery of life
Your cage still grips you

--Pete Lawyer

16765.
This little piggy
Went to market in a can
Ears, eyes, hooves and all

--Pete Lawyer

16766.
Salty porcine tears
Canned symphony of silence
Loaves for the masses

--Pete Lawyer

16767.
Hot dog by-product
Latrine cleaner's apprentice
Beware false bottoms

--Pete Lawyer

16768.
Roaches swarm the can
After the big one is dropped
Penetrate it not

--Pete Lawyer

16769.
Oh SPAMmy whammy
Sweat-soaked porky pink mammy
Summer becomes you

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16770.
So wrong but so right:
forbidden love of canned meat,
soft, moist, and supple.

--Bloody Hell, phatassmofo@yahoo.com

16771.
The shelf life of SPAM
exceeds life expectancy
of its consumer.

--Bloody Hell, phatassmofo

16772.
A little pinch of
SPAM between my cheek and gum
Gives pure meat flavor

--jnov

16773.
Watch SPAM ooze out slow.
It makes a plop on the plate.
And the gel drips down.

--Elreekie, elreekie@apk.net

16774.
Lets look at SPAM close.
Notice the red and white chunks.
History my friend.

--Elreekie, elreekie@apk.net

16775.
Inside the blue skull.
Is the fragile brain of SPAM.
We are Spanibals.

--Elreekie, elreekie@apk.net

16776.
SPAM-reality:
The lower class will buy it.
But won't admit it.

--Elreekie, elreekie@apk.net

16777.
Pig stink molecules
can't be measured, just perceived;
only the nose knows.

--Milford Pigboy

16778.
Give us this day our
daily SPAM; and forgive us
our constipation.

--Milford Pigboy

16779.
Hypnosis for change
New delights reawaken
At last! No more SPAM

--tomdraycott@hotmail.com

16780.
Gangland shooting: death
Terrible waste of the young
Due to lack of SPAM

--tomdraycott@hotmail.com

16781.
Hutu and Tutsi
Will fight no more, here comes the
Savior in blue can

--The Delegation of Rwanda

16782.
Which is worse, Hormel
or genocide? Both make much
inedible meat.

--The Delegation of Rwanda

16783.
Deliver me God
For thou dost smite all my foes
On the head with SPAM

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16784.
Sleeping president
Slapped upside the head with SPAM
Whole nation suspect

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16785.
Pig stink makes you swoon!
Hammers the nose; foulest stench
imaginable.

--Milford Pigboy

16786.
Generic Wal-Mart
SPAM substitute is even
scarier than SPAM.

--Chuck Beard

16787.
Steel Plate Around Meat
One more cheesy acronym
For S. P. A. M.

--Chuck Beard

16788.
What is beautiful?
Is it art? Is it music?
Or is it canned SPAM?

--S. Anthony

16789.
I was in first grade
Lunchtime, a warm slice of SPAM
I cried hungry tears

--S, Anthony

16790.
love unrequited
sitting around, pondering,
watching "dawson's SPAM"

--Matty Fresh, MattyJ64@yahoo.com

16791.
Menage a trois with
two ladies who know nothing
of SPAM protection.

--Matty Fresh, MattyJ64@yahoo.com

16792.
College prepared me
for life and love, but never
for the SPAM haiku.

--Matty Fresh, MattyJ64@yahoo.com

16793.
We argue about
what to name our child. She says
Paul; I say Spammy.

--Fozzie

16794.
My wife scoffs at me
as I build igloos in our
backyard with SPAM loaves.

--Fozzie

16795.
With trepidation
I suckle its meaty teat
In the dead of night

--Halibut Speam

16796.
Modern Jonnie Swift
Makes "a Modest Proposal":
SPAM for world hunger

--Vagabond-X, vagabond-x@angelfire.com

16797.
Best to make it "Pam"
During wrongful movie use
Sharpies are useful

--Jaclyn Callan, haruka3_2000@yahoo.com

16798.
W loves SPAM
Cheney's jealous of the Prez
Heart can't take the goo

--SPAM-Boo

16799.
Clintons did it now
Stole from White House on last day
Even took the SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

16800.
I am sick of SPAM
But then, SPAM is sick of me
Somehow it seems fair

--SPAM-Boo


Move forwards to Numbers 16801-16900.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.