SPAM Haiku 15901-16000

Move backwards to Numbers 15801-15900.

15901.
sitting at my desk
helping clueless customers
in SPAM Helpdesk Hell

--Chuck Beard

15902.
reusing old lines
is shameless line recycling
to make new SPAMku

--Chuck Beard

15903.
Antibiotic-
resistant bacteria
from monster pig farms.

--Milford Pigboy

15904.
Next epidemic
will come from mass production;
but...less cost per pig!

--Milford Pigboy

15905.
Dear porcine friend, called
home to Heavenly Father;
blue can for coffin.

--Milford Pigboy

15906.
Why do they...titter
so? Was it something I said;
or was it the SPAM?

--Milford Pigboy

15907.
SPAM is on menu;
fan blades move at speed of clock
hands, in Hell's kitchen.

--Milford Pigboy

15908.
Cursed piggery!
Where swine and their children still
walk with earthly feet.

--Milford Pigboy

15909.
SPAM is food for Gods.
What kind of God would eat SPAM?
Probably Hades.

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15910.
SPAM is like Windows
You've got to be kidding me...
You really like it?

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15911.
When my EKG
results returned, I learned my
heart was made of SPAM.

--Fozzie

15912.
SPAM the ham man ate
his whiskers with his JAM, ugh
and bare it soo-ey.

--D. Jefferis, djefferis@yahoo.com

15913.
Awake from hunger
Hot pink with indignation
Squealing SPAM bundle

--Lenore Kirby, lenore@flash.net

15914.
Candlelit dinner:
She quivers when she sees pink,
shimmering slivers.

--Avery Fischer, fischera@stolaf.edu

15915.
Last meal at his place:
He would sooner part with her
Than with SPAM Jell-O.

--Avery Fischer, fischera@stolaf.edu

15916.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Smells like cat food and warm shit
I hate you so much

--agent_mat, agent_mat@hotmail.com

15917.
Glorious morning,
when the pink fires of sunrise
streak the sky like SPAM!

--Fozzie

15918.
Nineteen ninety-nine:
excellent vintage for SPAM;
tart with fine bouquet.

--Milford Pigboy

15919.
Insidious plan:
control minds through SPAM supply.
Hormel benefits.

--Milford Pigboy

15920.
Pig lagoon dike burst!
Call goes out far and wide for
sandbag volunteers.

--Milford Pigboy

15921.
spongy protein loaf
twentieth century's curse
to future eras

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

15922.
Pooh has a new taste
SPAM for breakfast, lunch, dinner
No sleep for Piglet

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

15923.
My ass feels like SPAM
Each cheek wobbles when I move
It looks like SPAM too

--jeff n.

15924.
"Every part of pig
is used", reads propaganda.
Then where is SPAM from?

--Milford Pigboy

15925.
"All pig parts are used!"
Eyes, tails, bladders? If pigs had
souls they'd use them too.

--Milford Pigboy

15926.
another SPAMku
completed in record time
my fastest entry

--Chuck Beard

15927.
horror on the slopes
a SPAMalanche thundered down
from mountainous heights

--Chuck Beard

15928.
Army's new ammo
High Explosive Anti-SPAM
What are they hiding?

--Chuck Beard

15929.
Motorcycle broke.
I heard too much loud squealing.
Reminds me of SPAM.

--Shade Tree Mechanic, shade_tree@the_boneyard.com

15930.
Pulled it all apart,
pieces ground up very small,
too hard to swallow.

--Shade Tree Mechanic, shade_tree@the_boneyard.com

15931.
Able to fix it!!
Sealing gasket surfaces,
SPAM works perfectly.

--Shade Tree Mechanic, shade_tree@the_boneyard.com

15932.
Refill transmission.
Need to prevent loud squealing,
SPAM is the gear grease.

--Shade Tree Mechanic, shade_tree@the_boneyard.com

15933.
Rode around the block,
heard no sound. Were you squealing
SPAM?? Just in my head.

--Shade Tree Mechanic, shade_tree@the_boneyard.com

15934.
Staff Meeting: we snooze.
Your tax Gravy at non-work.
Another SPAMKu.

--Bored SPAMless, Loser@the_boneyard.com

15935.
9 am meeting.
So much SPAM, so little time.
Pigs slurp the Gravy.

--Bored SPAMless, Loser@the_boneyard.com

15936.
No inspiration.
Ninety-five percent hard work
is SPAMspiration.

--Bored SPAMless, Loser@the_boneyard.com

15937.
Sitting in meeting:
I believe a can of SPAM
contains more brain chunks.

--Bored SPAMless, Loser@the_boneyard.com

15938.
He pontificates.
He loves to hear himself talk.
He flatulates SPAM.

--Bored SPAMless, Loser@the_boneyard.com

15939.
At six months, Mom first
spoon-fed me SPAM. Some habits
are hard to break, eh?

--fozzie

15940.
Hog metropolis:
heavy citizens in pens.
Their job is to eat.

--Milford Pigboy

15941.
Porcine legions say:
"Ours is not to wonder why,
but to eat and die."

--Milford Pigboy

15942.
I would really like
a pop-tart loaded with SPAM.
What a breakfast treat

--jeff n.

15943.
SPAM they say some parts
are meat, but I have my doubts
For when dropped, it bounced

--Lé bobo

15944.
I slice it too thin
It burns to a crisp, and then
I slice it again

--Lé bobo

15945.
Blood Pressure Rises
Frying pan sizzles in hope
To fry up more SPAM

--Lé bobo

15946.
By idolizing
SPAM, you fail to see what is
obvious to pigs.

--Milford Pigboy

15947.
I'm a doctor now.
Student loans eat my income.
Now I'm eating SPAM.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15948.
Wed in Israel
A nice kosher Jewish man
No SPAM in our home

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15949.
How to have my SPAM?
Would I like it broiled or fried?
Sophie's Choice: no win.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15950.
Fourteen-hour-day job.
Quality of life is poor.
Lower pay; more SPAM.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15951.
A slumber party?
"Do they keep kosher?" I ask.
SPAM! No, you can't go.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15952.
Social class system:
Rich/Good income/They eat SPAM
Upper/Middle/Low.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15953.
I gave you my heart.
You used me, destroyed my life.
I bet you eat SPAM.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15954.
Difference between
a shark and a lawyer? None.
Both of them eat SPAM.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15955.
Death row criminal
Committed most heinous crimes
His final meal: SPAM

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15956.
Daughter asks why pork
is not kosher. I show her
SPAM. She now knows why.

--Rose Cain, bkltprncs@aol.com

15957.
Why can't Arafat
and Barak just sit down and
break SPAM together?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

15958.
Godzilla tramples
the Tokyo SPAM factory.
Danger over now.

--E. Blahut, Jr.

15959.
Could be that Satan,
Lord of flies, Prince of Darkness
was SPAM'S inventor?

--E. Blahut, Jr.

15960.
The King of Pigs seeks
Hormel President. Object:
his execution!

--E. Blahut, Jr.

15961.
The surgical SPAM:
Manufacture succeeded,
but the pigs are dead.

--E. Blahut, Jr.

15962.
Dear god my SPAM's gone
Whatever shall I do now
I just wet myself

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15963.
Juicy, moist and pink
Lunch gave coeds Sapphic urge--
Rosie fingered Dawn.

--Mitch Lewis, mitchl@proimages.net

15964.
9 am meeting:
it approaches: more braindrain,
more SPAMKu. Help me !!!

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15965.
It is happening.
9 am chowder now flows.
I will pen SPAMKu.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15966.
My schedule has shrunk!!
Was twenty-five lines before.
SPAM has less shrinkage.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15967.
It appears that I
do nothing around here but
write SPAMKu. Much Pride!!

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15968.
No Pride and No Shame.
Inactivity pays as
well as too much work.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15969.
Did I say "work"?? NO!!
Employment puts Gravy and
SPAM on my table!!

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15970.
Big Lies Spew Forth Now!!
Trying to justify sloth.
SPAM floats in this broth.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15971.
No coordination.
Money wasted, endless talk.
No end to the squeal.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15972.
Update customer:
point fingers elsewhere, THEIR fault!!
Pigs can be choosy.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15973.
What is found in SPAM??
More recognizable than
"sense" in this meeting!!

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15974.
Even ground-up pig
parts will soon have form and sub-
stance. Not so this crowd.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15975.
PPRs discussed.
Some old, some new; together
are like vintage SPAM.

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15976.
Meeting almost done.
Zero progress, we all smile!!
We SPAM The Big Lie!!

--Inspired, dreaming@the_boneyard.com

15977.
I pay Uncle Sam
So boneheads can play all day
Writing about SPAM

--Doug the H., consulting_near_the_vineyard@goodlife.com

15978.
I should not be sad
The gravy, it is so sweet
SPAM their only meat

--Doug the H., consulting_near_the_vineyard@goodlife.com

15979.
I can take solace
Here in my country palace
My brain is not SPAM

--Doug the H., consulting_near_the_vineyard@goodlife.com

15980.
Speak glowingly of
those greater than you; even
if they're SPAM eaters.

--Milford Pigboy

15981.
I'm back for more SPAM.
Whilst on my travels I dreamt
of pureed pink pigs...

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

15982.
Eating globs of SPAM,
The pink gelatinous meat:
Fat lurks in my veins.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

15983.
Open the blue can,
While lard frolics with my blood,
I'm in nirvana.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

15984.
My mate loves his SPAM
He just fucking loves it so
I fucking hate it!!!!!!

--The SPAM Monster

15985.
He had won the gold!
Yet that thrill did not console
him. He wanted SPAM.

--Fozzie

15986.
It strained to swim, but
the SPAM can was doomed to fail,
for it had no arms.

--Fozzie

15987.
So constipated
I am so bloated with SPAM
Must make a pink turd.

--jeff n.

15988.
Marilyn Monroe
your luscious cheeks, bursting chest
reminds me of SPAM.

--Count Michael d'Hormel, cwfnews@redrival.net

15989.
The seven year itch
I long to cheat with you SPAM
for some like it hot.

--Count Michael d'Hormel, cwfnews@redrival.net

15990.
SPAM backwards spells MAPS
SPAM leads one to hunger quenched
Scrumptious irony

--Evan Eckart, evan_eckart@hotmail.com

15991.
It is almost ham
I cannot explain it but
What a tasty treat

--Lucky465, webmaster@upsidedownsinner.com

15992.
Like gel and fake meat
We all search our hearts and minds
Lassie come home now

--Lucky465, webmaster@upsidedownsinner.com

15993.
SPAM-o Wham-o Yay
Deedle Deedle Deedle Dee
I love me some SPAM

--Lucky465, webmaster@upsidedownsinner.com

15994.
Hunk of dirty meat
How can you describe the taste
Pig flesh in a can

--Lucky465, webmaster@upsidedownsinner.com

15995.
The meaty gel drips
Down the left side of the can
We love you SPAMmy

--Lucky465, webmaster@upsidedownsinner.com

15996.
Seratonin lift
SPAM makes me feel like a kid
SPAM for everyone

--Lucky465, webmaster@upsidedownsinner.com

15997.
"How many pushups
can your SPAM do?" "None," I sighed,
"for it has no arms."

--Fozzie

15998.
Retched mass of SPAM
Towering destructive death
Tokyo falls again

--Naughty Boy

15999.
Utah football sucks!
I used to love it, but now.....
It's much worse than SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

16000.
Armour meat corp's TREET
SPAM's bitter arch-nemesis
No competition

--turbodig@yahoo.com